Little Johnny’s at it Again……



Today’s smiles come from my mom. She sent me these cute Little Johnnie jokes….


Little Johnny’s at it again…… A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’ After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.. The teacher said, ‘Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?’ ‘No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!’


Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. ‘Why do you do that, mommy?’ he asked. ‘To make myself beautiful,’ said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Little Johnny. ‘Giving up?’

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, ‘Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?’ Little Johnny quickly replied, ‘NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!’


Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. ‘Yes,’ said the policeman. ‘The detectives want very badly to capture him. Little Johnny asked, ” Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture ? ”
(this is my favorite)


Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, ‘Dad, why are you doing that?’ His father replied, ‘Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, ‘Dad, I think the mailman wants to buy Mom ..’


Remember, if you think you have a great idea or post to help other people laugh, shoot me an email. If picked, I’ll even give your blog a shout out! Some of you have been coming up with some great stuff. Just keep in mind, I need to be able to re-post the whole thing on mine (not just a re-blog, the funny gets lost in the translation) and I’m a PG13 blog so other than that….let’s make people laugh!


~~~till we laugh again~~~


Nothing Funny About the Homeless But….

Ok, don’t stand too close to me. You might get struck by lightening. I’m warning you now.

One of the things I say all the time is how it is the little things when we least expect it that tend to put a smile on our face or give us a quick chuckle. Many times the moment it happens, it probably isn’t the most politically correct time. But let’s face it. It happens.

It doesn’t make you a bad person, no matter what anyone else says.Now, that doesn’t mean you need to be mean spirited. There is a difference between laughing at a snapshot of time vs a long term situation.

Now, with my disclaimer out of the way, I wanted to share a moment from yesterday that made me smile / chuckle as I drove in to work. The road I was going down, is pretty empty as it only really has farm land or empty desert along it. There are a few bushes here and there though.

As I drove down the road, I see a bicycle with a cart full of “junk” sitting on the side of the road. It just seemed so out of place, like someone abandoned it. As I got closer I see what seems like a homeless man laying inside the bush, leaning up on a backpack, reading a newspaper, smoking a cigarette with a big jug of soda or something on his side. Being that it was 90 degrees I assumed the reason he was in the bushes was to escape the Arizona sun. But I’m not going to lie. The image of how comfortable he made himself and how he looked like any guy on a couch just made me chuckle for some reason. I thought how creative he was.

A few months ago, I had some customers come in, asking that I call the cops as it seemed like two people were in a fight inside the dumpsters behind my store. That one person was threatening to kill the other one. I pop my back door open and while I can’t see anything, I do hear a one sided argument going on. And being that some punk kids do stuff back there and we did have an incident a few years prior, I called the officer out.

Turns out our local “meth head” who raids the trashcans was in there fighting with himself. Which is pretty common the officer said. They are often called out to find him alone and arguing with himself. Now, I’m not sure if our friend is homeless or not. But let me tell you, this guy is pretty resourceful. He is a staple around here. He rides around all day on a bike raiding the trashcans of items people drop off and tries to sell it to you. We have seen him with big TVs on his handlebars, microwaves, , cabinets, you name it. My first encounter with him over 3 years ago he was in front of my store with 4-5 giant kiddie pools on his handlebars that he stole from the local Frys Market. While you know it isn’t right, he still makes you smile. Plus he has such a huge smile and is so polite as he is interacting with you you tend to forget that you should keep you hand on your wallet. But still, he is resourceful as he recycles (pun intended) the things people toss.

NOT our guy, but he would do this...

I’m not saying it right to laugh at the homeless or the those in bad situations. I’m just saying that sometimes their ingenuity to survive what life has dealt them is pretty amazing and sometimes deserves our appreciation. And if everyone is honest with themselves, there probably has been a time or two that you smiled or chuckled at how creative someone you saw was .

Now, if I don’t get struck within an hour or two, you can resume standing close to me. As long as you keep at least 3 feet away. But that is more for personal reasons than acts of nature.    😀


~~~till we laugh again~~~


Watching TV with My MOM – circa 1977

Soap (TV series)
Image via Wikipedia

When I was younger I was a TV fanatic long before TiVo, remote controls, cable and 350 stations. I couldn’t wait for the new issue of TV Guide to come out. I would read it cover to cover. Looking for all my favorites so as not to miss any of them. For a brief while I even collected the TV Guides thinking they would be worth something.

This passion for TV lasted for a long, long time. I still love my shows today but I’m no longer as obsessed as I was then. Back then it was my form of escape. My mom would always wonder how I did my homework with the TV on, the radio on and still get good grades. I guess you could say I’ve always been a multi-tasker.

Through the course of the year, I’ll share some of my favorite TV memories (I’ve shared my love of Get Smart all ready).

In 1977 I was only 11 years old. And a new show came on called SOAP.  SOAP told the story of the rich Tates & the working class Campbells. It was a knock off of day time soaps with a major comedic take on it all. It had murder, sex, crazy families, all the things good soaps have. And I loved it.

What I loved most though was this was my time with my mom.

I have 3 younger siblings and as you can imagine, her time was taken up by all of us. But Tuesday nights were mine. Each week for the 4 years that show was on TV, my mom and I would sit together and watch this awesome show. Some would say that maybe this show wasn’t the most appropriate but my mom knew I was mature enough to realize the comedy of the whole thing.

We were so bummed when the show was cancelled. We still watched TV but it was never the same. Nothing touched us as a pair like this show did. Who knows why, but we both laughed so much and just loved this show.

The show went off the air in 1981. It is 30 years later and to this day we still have a little joke we do from the show.

Billy Crystal’s character was the smart one and his TV brother’s character (played by Ted Wass) was a little on the slower side. On one show, Billy’s character is leaving and says to his brother…“CHAO” ….and his brother replies… “GRUB!”

OMG, we laughed our butts off. To this day it makes me laugh so hard.

Every once in awhile one of us will say to the other “CHAO” and the other will reply “GRUB!”….

I miss those Tuesday nights, but I still have the memories…   I Love Ya Ma….


~~~till we laugh again~~~

Parking Lot Wars – Would you watch?

Have you ever watched the TV show Parking Wars? Basically it follow those poor folks that issue parking tickets back east. But I realized today that there is a way better concept. We need Parking Lot Wars.

Hear me out. Today I was driving the Pink Truck to get some milk and bananas and pulled into the local grocery store. Being the nice person I was, I was about to pull into a great spot when I made a silly mistake. I waved the other car on to pass me before turning – only to have them turn at the last minute and swoop into my prime spot.  What the heck?!  Once again, good gal gets burned.

Being in the Pink truck has the disadvantage of never getting mad at potential customers so I just pass by weeping into my shirt sleeve at my loss.

Then the idea hit me. Remember in that one movie where Kathy Bates rams her car into the person who took her spot. (Fried Green Tomatoes I believe). What if hidden cameras were set up in parking lots around towns (Grocery, Walmarts, etc)and captured the fighting that happens between people in parking lot altercations? I’d watch.

Think about these exciting things we could see…

  • People crossing the walkway when cars are coming thinking their carts are an automatic protective device
    • Remember, don’t look the drivers in the eyes or you will have to admit you were wrong to step off the curb
  • Physical violence when people steal other people’s spaces
    • Little old ladies attacking soccer moms with their canes
    • A short woman yelling up at a 6’3″ man
    • Two people screaming in different languages at each other and no one knowing what is being said
      • (although we can assume they are not inviting them out for drinks)
    • Someone in a motorized scooter chasing down the person that took the handicapped spot without a hanging tag in the window
    • Maybe the occasional someone pulling the other person out the car window
    • Yep, road rage on the pavement
  • We can watch the people circling the parking lot for like 30 minutes for the spot up close just so they can sneak in to buy their lottery tickets
  • People pulling into spots with shopping carts blocking them, only to slam them into the other cars around them
    • Or the people who “accidentally” attempt to pull into the one “Fake you out” spot that really isn’t empty but has the cart corral in it
    • Or the ones who are too lazy to walk the two spots over so they put their cart behind someone else’s car
  • People coming out to find the car next to them only gave them 3 inches to try and crawl into their car
  • People backing up, hitting the car behind them, then pulling out as it they didn’t feel the big bang they just did
    • Or backing up over the people walking down past not paying attention to the moving car almost running them over
  • Heck we might even help capture some car jacking thieves due to all the cameras
  • And don’t even get me started on the clothes people go out in public with, imagine that segment


Think of the possibilities….. 

Now some of the “reality” shows are semi set up, what about we put a note on someone’s car saying “Sorry I hit your car, but I had to run”. Then we watch the person flip out? Hmmm, might be on to something.

The more I think of this, I really should send my idea / proposal to TruTV or A&E. I’m starting to think this might work.

What do you think?

Do you have any great parking lot stories?


~~~till we laugh again~~~