Little Johnny’s at it Again……



Today’s smiles come from my mom. She sent me these cute Little Johnnie jokes….


Little Johnny’s at it again…… A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’ After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.. The teacher said, ‘Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?’ ‘No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!’


Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. ‘Why do you do that, mommy?’ he asked. ‘To make myself beautiful,’ said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Little Johnny. ‘Giving up?’

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, ‘Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?’ Little Johnny quickly replied, ‘NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!’


Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. ‘Yes,’ said the policeman. ‘The detectives want very badly to capture him. Little Johnny asked, ” Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture ? ”
(this is my favorite)


Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, ‘Dad, why are you doing that?’ His father replied, ‘Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, ‘Dad, I think the mailman wants to buy Mom ..’


Remember, if you think you have a great idea or post to help other people laugh, shoot me an email. If picked, I’ll even give your blog a shout out! Some of you have been coming up with some great stuff. Just keep in mind, I need to be able to re-post the whole thing on mine (not just a re-blog, the funny gets lost in the translation) and I’m a PG13 blog so other than that….let’s make people laugh!


~~~till we laugh again~~~


Sunday Funnies Edition 2

Ok, last week everyone seemed to like my Sunday Funnies idea so I think I’ll run with it!

For this weeks edition, we have to tackle the fact that today is Mother’s Day.

Why not celebrate Yo Momma!

I thought about doing a bunch of yo momma jokes….

Then I realized I didn’t want to be too mean…After all it is suppose to be a celebration….

Then I thought we could talk about how mom’s have superpowers….

But we don’t want to give away all their secrets….

Then again, mom’s wouldn’t be mom’s without their kids and we all know kid’s say the darndest things…

But really, what we should be celebrating are those mom’s that give all mom’s a great reputation…

Like this mom…

Ms Tan em Till Their Brown Mom

Or, even the Mother of all moms….

Ms Octomom ~ mom of what 16 or 17?

(Did you think it would have been the mom from 20 kids and counting?)


Yep, cuz these mom’s are what every mom strives to be someday….



Ok, maybe no so much…

To all the Mom’s out there today….

Happy Mother’s Day!


May your children (young or old) not drive you as batty as they do all the other days of the year!


~~~till we laugh again~~~




A Few Thoughts as We Head into Mother’s Day

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. All across the land people will be giving their mom’s Happy Mother’s Day cards or possibly be receiving them. They might also include flowers, stuffed animals or a nice brunch or dinner.  Thanking their mom’s for being the Best Mom a kid could ever have.

Some folks will not be celebrating this tradition as they have either lost their mother or maybe their memories are not those warranting gifts of appreciation for the hell their moms put them through.

I’m not sure any mom is perfect. Sure you have the extremes. The TV perfect moms who do everything right; who raise perfect children, creating perfect memories. Then the other extreme of abusive and downright mean moms who inflict pain on their “evil” spawn.

I like to think there are more of the first extreme than the second, but sadly that probably isn’t the case.

The good news is, most moms probably fall in the middle. They aren’t perfect but they try their best given the current situation at any given time. They love their children no matter how much they drive them nuts and they might want to murder them. They sing to their kids even if they can’t carry a tune and they tell them “no” even when they may want to say yes.

Through the course of any day, most moms will be loved and hated by their children depending on the hour.

When those children grow up, their mom will be responsible for every bad thing that ever happened to them in their life. Yet, those same “adults” wouldn’t change their mom for any other mom.

We are a funny species.

Yet, as Mother’s Day roars in this year, everyone is forced to say, “Dang, I love and appreciate my mom.”  We make that trek to Walgreen’s for her card, standing there trying to find the perfect one since we don’t say it to her the other 364 days of the year.

We created a day for everyone to slow down a moment and thank the woman who kisses their ouchies, the woman who was mean when they couldn’t go out with their friends, the one who took away their toys when they were bad, and the woman who they ran to when they were scared and needed protection.

It really begs the question….

Why do we wait until Mother’s Day to appreciate the person who tried their hardest to be the best mother they could?

I love ya Ma….

And I know that no matter what good or bad happened in my childhood, I was and will always be grateful for how hard you tried. 

The Spirits Did It…I Swear…

Well, if you have been waiting on pins and needles to find out what happened to my mom’s keys, I can tell you that after hours and hours and hours (I suspect minutes) my mother finally came to the conclusion that a Spirit must have taken her keys.

She serious by the way……

Stop laughing….

She started this theory last night as she had a strong feeling someone didn’t want her back out on the road yesterday (they must have seen her driving abilities).

Personally, I think she’s right. I think my grandmother who passed this time of year was just letting her know she was thinking of her. You see, one of the keys was to my Grandmother’s old car.Coincidence??? Hmmm, you decide.

Then this morning. My “Pops” decided to join in the hunt and low and behold he found the keys in some little tiny hidden corner. So at this point, I’m thinking, if it wasn’t my grandmother thinking she was funny, it might have been him. I’m just saying. And if it was him, he might be joining my grandmother in the afterlife becuase I think my mom would kill him.

At the end of the day. Crisis is over. Thanks for all of your help looking around the internet for them.

PS. My mom really does see spirits. Maybe someday we can do a few posts on those. (That is if I get to live for making fun of her again two days in a row)

Love ya Mommy    😀

Love, your #1 Brat

~~~Till we laugh again~~~

A Birthday Memory ~~ A 30 Year Gift

Last week when I busy doing my little series about the days of the week ~ my birthday came and went.

(Please hold down the applause that I survived another year and how excited you are that I get to make you laugh for another one)    😀

Birthdays have always been weird in my family. My sisters (one more than the other) are big into birthdays. Celebrating the day of your life. I on the other hand, appreciate the birthday, but since I’ve worked almost every single birthday, most of the time it is just another day. This year included. (for the record, my brother falls somewhere in between)

When I was young, we didn’t have much money. My mom was very young when she had me (she had just turned16) and had four of us by the time she was 21. So as you can imagine, money was tight. But my mom always did what she could to make us feel special on our birthdays.

As I got closer to my 16th birthday, I secretly wished for what every 16 year old lays in bed praying about. Yep, getting a car for my birthday. Now, logically I knew this was impossible. We simply had no money. But that reality doesn’t sink into a 16 year old’s head. The dream stays alive. The hope burns internal.

When my 16th birthday arrived I laid in bed praying that some miracle happened overnight. That some how my mom found a way.

SIDE NOTE: What’s interesting is, we all get this feeling, long after our youth. How many times has your mind & heart dreamt of the possibility even though the little voice inside was trying to tell you not to expect it? (the 1/2 billion dollar lottery couple weeks ago being a great example)

Back to my story….

That morning after saying those last little prayers, I began my new year of life.

Like taking off a band-aid, I might as well just rip it off….

There was no car sitting in our drive way with a big red bow on it.   🙁

Nope. Not even a little hot wheels one for a good laugh.

Now, before I tell you what I did get, let me explain something many of you don’t know. I’m a tomboy. Always have been. If I wasn’t doing my homework I was outside playing over the line (baseball for 3-5), tennis or something with my brother and our friends. My brother always got the better toys in my mind. It drove my mom nuts that I refused to put on a dress. No freaking way was that going to happen. The word “Girly” and Tammy just weren’t used in the same sentence in my house.

With  that said, what did I get? I got 3 things…a $50 check, a $50 bill & a green figuring with a girl in a dress (gasp) holding a cake with a 16 on top.

Now, when a tomboy wants a car for their 16th birthday, the last thing they are expecting is a girl in a green dress.

You can only imagine the amount of pouting I did that day. I wasn’t mad at my mom. I knew there was no way I was getting a car. But for a few weeks that dream was alive in my mind and it felt real.

As the days passed, my mom needed to borrow the $50 bill for food or bills or something, and I’m pretty sure I never cashed the check (knowing my mom could use the money more than I could). The little girl in green went on a shelf as a reminder that she wasn’t the car I really had wanted.

But what might shock and surprise you is… it has been 30 years since I received the Girl in Green. She has moved 16 times (ironic I know) & across four states with me. And she still sits on a shelf in my home office. Not a crack, a chip or anything. She no longer reminds me of the car I didn’t receive. Today she reminds me of how much my mother loves me and how much she loved me that day I turned 16. And I wouldn’t trade her for anything. (the figurine and my mom – LOL)

The Girl in Green

Besides, had I gotten the car, I’m not sure it would have fit on my shelf 30 years later.

We might not always get the presents we want, but we usually get the presents we are suppose to.

Just like my mom got me for her 16th birthday.  😀

~~till we laugh again~~~

Confessions of a Non-Hugger

Now this might shock those that only know me via my blog, but my friends, family & co-workers already know my hugging hang ups. Seems odd for someone who is so pro laughter, glass half full type person to be a so called non-hugger.

I have no issues with people wrapping their arms around each other. The transference of energy between them can be magical. I love a good hug like most people. But just don’t expect me to make that first move.

Let me explain….

Ok, when I was a kid, my mom would always try and hug & kiss me. I’m not sure when I started to be weird with it or if I always was. But I do know that it then became a game. She wanted so bad for me to do it, my little sarcastic mind thought it would be funny to torture her by not giving her what she wanted.

Yep, I thought it was funny.  

Then as I got older and into the work force, I was a leader at a very young age. So I was always very aware of people thinking I was too young. So then my warped mind thought if people saw me hugging my “mommy” it would make me look like a little kid.  (Stupid I know, but hey, I was in my early 20s).

Then my career was a big thing to me. And not wanting people to think of me as unprofessional I kept the hugging at a distance. Not wanting anyone to think I was doing anything unprofessional. I never wanted a hugging-gate scandal.

Through time and the years it just became a habit to not hug people. Unless of course they initiated it. I didn’t turn them down.

Sure, maybe I made a face or two. 

I have had many people around me that are massive huggers. They were going to hug me whether I made a face or not. Sometimes they would announce they were coming in for the hug and I better just get over it.

As I’ve gotten older I have realized that this hugging thing isn’t too bad. And I have definitely created a reputation for myself.

I don’t think I’ll ever be the main initiator of the hug. It still feels awkward at times and I still have this big personal space issue. But I do realize that sometimes the hug isn’t always about me and my hang ups.

Sometimes the other person just needs that energy they get from you when they hug you. Sometimes they need that transference of love.

Don’t get me wrong, some people are crazy huggers and hug everything in sight including a tree or two.

Us non-huggers give off a vibe of stand back 5 feet or you will be hurt. And some non-huggers will actually kill you if you even attempt to put your arms around them.

But I suspect that there are a bunch of us non-huggers that have non hugged for so long, it is habit more than not wanting to share your energy or love. But one thing I will tell you is, don’t expect us to initiate the hug anytime soon. All I can tell you is, don’t always be afraid. We only act like we will bite.

Oh, and the most important thing…. DON’T PUSH YOUR LUCK.      😀

Yea, don’t try to go from 0 – 60 on the hugging scale just because we open up a little. We still get a little squeamish.

Oh, and if we don’t know you….YEA, we aren’t letting you into the circle of those approved for hugging rights. Only those we love and care about. So Mr or Miss random person we don’t really know, you need to earn your way into the hugging circle. If you really care for us, you will wait until you get the golden ticket of hugging the non-hugger.

Ok, my confession is over and odds are I might deny this come tomorrow. But I promise I’ll at least keep giving my cyber-hugs because those kind don’t invade my personal space.

Big hugs…. and …

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Do You Ever Feel Like You Are Talking To Yourself?

Do you ever feel like you are talking to yourself? Not the kind where you are the only one in the room and you really are talking to yourself. But the kind where you are looking at a person, speaking to them, finish the conversation, they nod then forget the entire conversation – type of talking to yourself?

First off, I know I am guilty of this at times. But normally it is due to someone just talking to get stuff off their chest and not really wanting me to memorize what they are saying. Or maybe it is my mom doing her daily rant on the phone and on my end all you hear is “uh huh”. (sorry mom, but you know I do this). I’ve been known to hang up the phone and not remember what the hour conversation consisted of. Not because I didn’t care, because I do, but really because it wasn’t the type of stuff I needed to recall in 15 min.

I’m referring to the type  of talking to yourself when you have told someone about 85 million times how to do something or not to do something but they act like it is the first time you have ever had this conversation. I get this all the time with the kids I work with. Maybe it is a teenager / young adult mentality. But I know better. I had this problem in previous jobs too with so called adults.

Tonight for example, I asked if something was done twice and was told yes (two different people). Then when I pointed out later that it still wasn’t completed (it was half done), I was told A) that that isn’t what I asked (I did for the record) and B) I explained for 2 years I’ve said it needed to be done by a certain time (which it wasn’t). I got a strange look like this was new. Which it wasn’t. I say it every single day.Everyday it seems to be a surprise. No matter which of these young folks I ask.

Sometimes I wonder if it is a mechanism the body uses of self denial that they couldn’t possibly be doing anything wrong. Because had I told them before, they surely would have rectified the behavior. Silly me thinking that after 2 years of me telling you to do something a certain way that at some point it just might stick in your noggin.

Then again, it also happens when I’m speaking directly to them and they turn away mid conversation and start doing something. I’m like, HEY, I”M STILL TALKING TO YOU.  They act like they are listening (which they aren’t). So I stop mid sentence and say – “Then what did I just say”. This is usually 40/60. Yep, 40% of the time they will shock me and at least heard part of what I said. (the part usually before they turned away from me). And even then, it will still be missing the key parts of the story/lecture/direction.

I’m not sure if this will ever change. I guess I’ll just have to keep talking to myself. It’s not like I have anything important to say. I’m just the one in charge. I think

Must be Karma. I really should listen to my mother more when she is telling me stuff.


~~~till we laugh again~~~