Knock Knock…Who’s There? – A Bunch of Knock Knock Jokes of Course!

Who doesn’t love a good Knock Knock Joke? 

Well, anyone who has met the Interrupting Cow of course!

 

Knock KnockIf you are a seasoned knock knock joke person you totally go that one!   🙂

I thought what better way to enjoy a Sunday then with some fun, light hearted knock knock jokes? So let’s jump in and have a few giggles shall we?

 

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Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Kook
Kook who?
Don’t call me cuckoo

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Knock knock
Who’s there?
Little old lady?
Little old lady who?
Wow! I didn’t know you could yodel

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Crying BabyKnock Knock
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo who?

Don’t cry, it’s just me

 

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Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Doris
Doris who?
Doris locked, that’s why I knocked

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Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Dishes
Dishes who?
Dishes me, who are you?

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DoorbellKnock Knock
Who’s there?
Figs
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell, it’s broken

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Knock Knock

Who’s There?

Theodore

Theodore who?
Theodore is stuck and it won’t open!

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Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Cash
Cash who?
Yes, I love cashews..Thanks!

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RibbonsKnock Knock

Who’s there?

Ya

Ya who?

I’m excited to see you too!

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Knock Knock

Who’s There

Amos

Amos who?
A mosquito bit me!

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Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Wanda
Wanda who?
Wanda hang out with me right now?

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Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Nobel

Nobel who?

No bell, that’s why I knocked!

 

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PirateKnock knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting pirate!
Interrup…
ARRRRRRRRRR!

(Dang, the cow has a new friend) MooooooCow

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Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey have to keep telling silly knock knock jokes?

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Nope! I’m out of here! Hope you enjoyed some cute laughs!!

 

~~Till next time~~

 

Riddle Me This….

Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?

 

StudyingI love riddles. I love taking on the challenge. However, when doing simple basic riddles, sometimes we can be made to feel that we are NOT smarter than a 5th grader.  LOL

The other day I was doing some riddles with a 12 and 8 year old. I was pretty impressed how well they did. Turns out their dad does them with them. A great idea, get those problem solving skills going early and hone them as they grow. Otherwise they become like us….not smarter than a 5th grader.    😀

Ok, here are a few easy riddles to stretch your riddle muscle… Answers Below…Good Luck! 

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Q 1: Mary’s father has 5 daughters – Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono. What is the fifth daughters name?

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Q 2: Is an older one-hundred dollar bill worth more than a newer one?

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Q 3: Mr. Smith has two children. If the older child is a boy, what are the odds that the other child is also a boy?

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Q 4: What travels around the world but stays in one spot?

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Q 5: In a one-story pink house, there was a pink person, a pink cat, a pink fish, a pink computer, a pink chair, a pink table, a pink telephone, a pink shower– everything was pink!
What color were the stairs?

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Ok, Let’s see how you did….

.

.

.

 

 

…

A 1:  Mary is the 5th daughter

A 2:  Of course it is. A $100 bill is worth more than a $1 bill (newer one)

A 3:  50%

A 4:  A stamp

A 5:  There weren’t any stairs, it was a one story house!

~~~

 

How did you do?

How many of the 5 did you get right? 

Some Quick Laughs to Brighten You Day

Wanna Laugh?  

Let’s See if Any of These Do the Trick!

Make Me Laugh If you are like me, you love to laugh. I love the quick and funny ones that are so silly you can’t help but laugh. 

Here are a few to help brighten you day….

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Q: What has holes but never spills water?

A: A Sponge

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Q: What does the grape say when smashed?

A: Nothing, just gives a little whine

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Q: “Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? 

A: She didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills.”

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Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long

A: Then it would be a foot!

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Q: How do you turn soup into gold?

A: Add twenty four carrots

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Q: What type of shoes are made from bananas?

A: Slippers

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Q: Did you hear the one about the roof?

A: I’m sure it was over your head

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Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked into court?

A: Odor in the court!

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Q: Why are math books always sad?

A: They have way too many problems

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Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?

A: Stick with me kid, and we will go places!

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Hope one or two make you laugh!

Feel free to share some of your favorite jokes! 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

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I Hate You State Farm

You Kept Me Up All Night Laughing!

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State Farm and Laughing?    Huh??  

Normally insurance companies might make you cry but laugh?  Never mind keeping me up all night chuckling.

Let me go on record right now saying

I LOVE STATE FARM COMMERCIALS!

They make me smile and feel good. Face it, they make you smile and feel good if you would admit it to yourself.

It started with the one commercial we all quote and love. I hope it never goes off the air.

    State Farm Jake“It’s Jake from State Farm”

Yep, she still sounds hideous, that Jake from State Farm… LOL  Gets me every time!

My new favorite that equally puts a smile on my face since it is played so dead straight and so witty is our extreme planner

State Farm Retiring Lady

“I’d Like to Put in my 15 Year Notice”
“You’re Totally Blind Siding Me”

LOLL  I have no idea why it tickles me. But I just get a big smile every time I see it.

(This is the one that had me laughing all night then got me thinking about making this post…

Now, there is the other hilarious with the fisherman… LOL

State Farm got a dollar

And who can forget about Jimmie?

State Farm 6 Callers Ahead

And yes, sometimes they just tug at our heart strings

State Farm Ill Never

(You know it gets you)

But yet. They all can’t be a hit. There is one commercial I actually hate when it comes on….

State Farm Elvis 1

Sorry Elvis (and Elvis, and Elvis, oh and Elvis)

You can’t win them all

State Farm Elvis 2

Just had to share this when I saw it…LOL

I have TIVO. I never watch commercials, but I will stop the TV just to watch the Jake and the Retirement ones. They make me laugh that much.

For the record, I have nothing to do with State Farm. However I have been with State Farm as a client since I got my first car 30 years ago. So one might say I like the company and LOVE the commercials    🙂

So….My Question is… Is There Any Commercial That Just Cracks You Up?

Texting Can Be Dangerous

There are many dangers that come with texting an important message..

Let’s take a look…

TextingA man received the following text from his neighbor...

“I am so sorry Bob. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess; I have been helping myself to your wife day and night when you’re not around. In fact, I have probably been getting more than you. I do not get it at home – but that’s  no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt, and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won’t, ever happen again.”

The man, anguished and betrayed, went directly into his bedroom, grabbed his gun and, without a word, shot his wife dead.

`

Shortly afterwards he received the following text…

`

“DAMN AUTOCORRECT!  Sorry, I meant WiFi not wife!”

~~~

Have a great day! Don’t forget to smile!  OH…

An NO Texting and Driving!  

Should You Make a New Years Resolution?

No

Hmm, maybe that was a little rough. 

Oh surrrrrr, go ahead. Make as many New Year’s Resolutions as you can. Join the rush to be rah rah for 30 days promising yourself you wont do this, or you will do that. But don’t come to us in February acting as if you never promised it.    LOL

to do list for Jan

Let’s face it. Only 1 in a 10,000 people are successful with these things,

unattainable new years

Buttttttttt…..

If you want to take some steps to make your life better in 2014, I’m in! Besides,  why be normal? Why be a statistic? Just be you!  Here is what we should do…

be more awesome

We are flawed, but each day we take one step to laugh a little more, move a little more, eat a little better, laugh even more and be kind to others. If we all do a little each day, think about how far you will be on Dec 31, 2014?

I know in 2014 I plan to swing by and laugh with you a little more than I did in 2013. Ok, stop laughing, I did stop by at least 10 times last year so I have a low bar to hurdle.  LOL.

And to start with a few laughs, how about these resolutions I found at Jokes4us.com:  (with a little tweaking for my mind or bad habits or just to make it more 2014..Or to even be a smart ass..Me?? i know…LOL)

New Years Resolutions You Have No Chance At Keeping

When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, “LOL, LMAO, or ROTFLMAO!”  (I’ll screw this one up by 12:01 tonight)

Start using Facebook for something other than Candy Crush or Papa Pear  (How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t play Facebook games!!!……….unless they are on my cell phone)  LOL

Try to figure out why you “really” need 5 Facebook accounts. (Not me but I do know someone…LOL)

Resolve to work with neglected children… your own.  (Hopefully they remember who you are)

Lose 20 pounds by going to the gym!  (Now, that is funny, Let’s get physical, physical, sing it Olivia!)

You will stop using, “So, what’s your URL?” as a pickup line.  (geeks love this one)

You will spend less than five-hour a day on the Internet.  (I see some of you balled up in the corner already sucking your thumb and rocking on this one)

You will spend less than $1000 for coffee at Starbucks this year.  (Once again, I know someone…)

Stop repeating myself again, and again, and again. (And no, you can’t keep blaming Alzheimer’s) 

You will stop tagging pictures of me in pictures even when I’m not in them   (Seriously, that’s not me, are you blind?)

You will think of a password other than “password” (and yes, stop using 12345 as well!)

im perfect

New Years Resolutions You Can Actually Keep

Read less.  (protect you eyes)

Gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds. Gain enough weight to get on The Biggest Loser.

Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store

Stop exercising.  (watch the folks on Biggest Loser do it while you eat ice cream)

Waste  time playing Candy Crush and Papa Pear (Oh yes I will!)

Watch more TV. You’ve been missing some good stuff.  Blacklist???  lol

Watch more movie remakes.  (Then pan them compared to the originals)

Start washing your hands after you use the restroom.  (you know who you are)

Procrastinate more.  (I’ll get around to this one)

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant. (for the guys)

Drink. Drink some more. (One Tequila, two tequila, three tequila …FLOOR)

Stop buying worthless junk on Ebay, because QVC has better specials .

Start being superstitious.  (Hate to tell you, floor 14 is really 13)

Spend more time at work. (I’m a pro at this one)

Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.  (now I just need some lunch money..got 50 cents?)

Take up a new habit: maybe working on this blog more! ( ok, ok, I’ll try!)

crazy

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/holidayjokes/newyearsjokes.html (with my additions)

Ok everyone, hope you got at least one laugh!!!  Time to say good bye to 2013 and lets laugh together in 2014!!

happy new year

 

Sunday Funnies ~ Edition 19

 

Sunday Funnies!!

Yep, that time of the week where I share some of the funny things I found on Facebook or Google

Enjoy!

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Yep, been that kind of a week.  LOL

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Please don’t go anywhere, I’ll squeeze you in shortly

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You were robbed!

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It’s faster if you open it first

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Sorry, this one just cracked me up!

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I love these trucks..so creative

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Another one that had me rolling!

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And some of you are way more experienced than I

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This explains what happened!

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This is he #1 reason I never get to take a nap!

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Don’t worry, we already know who you are

🙂

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You are in luck, the Moran bus is about to take off

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Have a great Sunday Everyone!!!

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

Related articles

 

What The F*** Facts

I’m not sure how many of you have a Facebook account but there is one page that I subscribe to that I love. Each day I get facts that either make me laugh, smile or scratch my head.  I wish their name was a little less graphic at times but it probably is better that way so I’m not always forwarding on their stuff.  LOL.

Their Facebook page is What The F Facts Facebook & their website is What the F*** Facts.

I thought for today I would share some of the cool things from their Facebook posts that I laughed at or found interesting. Give you a little taste if you will.

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More than 98% of people have started laughing even harder when they tried to explain why they were laughing.

(I’d tell ya why I’m laughing but…..baahhhhaa  loolllllloollllll)

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The teen pregnancy rate is actually lower now than it was in the 1970’s

(oh, I’m sure it is from abstinence…… NOT…lol)

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From a survey of 54,000 people, researchers discovered that cancer patients with a sense of humor were 70% more likely to survive.

(I personally believe laughter helps heal most things)

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Scratching your ankle feels as good as sex. Scientists have discovered that ankle is the most satisfying spot to scratch.

(hmmmmmm)

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Cherophobia describes a person who is afraid of being happy because whenever they get too happy, something bad happens.

(How sad…. Just be happy!!)  LOL   .. oh darn, the dog threw up on your carpet now…

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At least 5 people have been murdered for unfriending someone via Facebook.

(I promise I will never unfriend ya now)

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80% of United States deaths happen in hospitals.

(Note to self, never, ever, ever go in a hospital)

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Famous conservationist, Steve Irwin, wants to be fed to his favorite crocodile, Bindi, after his death according to his last will.

(ok my Aussie friends, is this actually true?)

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Every British queen named Jane has either been murdered, imprisoned, gone mad, died young, or been dethroned.

(If I was born and named Jane I’d be the next in line at the office to change my name)

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When a Mother Penguin loses her chick, she’ll often try to steal from other female penguins living in the vicinity.

(I wonder how many mom’s which they could trade their brat)

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The flavors of the foods a pregnant woman eats end up in the amniotic fluid — The baby might crave these tastes later in life.

(One of my friend’s mom ate those little black tire stubbies that stick out on a new tire….Hmmm — boy am I glad my mom craved radishes with me)

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In one week, the average person will learn more from Google than 4 years of high school.

(That my friends, is why Google is my best friend)

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Well, I hope you liked some of them, if you did check them out. The links are still above. I think you will like it. I couldn’t do them justice here, but I enjoy them.

 

 

Ohhhh, So, how many of you scratched your ankle?  LOLLLLL

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

The Power of a Smile

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There are days that occur in our life where you feel that the crud in your life is winning.

When everything just seems to be piling on and you just can’t catch a break.

And when you are caught up in one of those days, nothing seems to help your pity party of one.

Logically you know you need to pull yourself out of it, yet you can’t.

Then it happens. Something so random and unexpected.

Someone just looks at you and smiles.

And in that moment, the smile is so powerful that it causes you to smile back.

For a brief moment you can breathe again.

In that moment, you learn the Power of a Smile.

In that moment, you realize it will be ok.

Maybe not right now, maybe not tomorrow but it will be ok.

The smile told you so….

~~~

Thank you Jorge at Taco Bell……

Your Big Smile in the drive through was the Power I needed to find mine at that moment.

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

Little Johnny’s at it Again……

 

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Today’s smiles come from my mom. She sent me these cute Little Johnnie jokes….

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Little Johnny’s at it again…… A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’ After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.. The teacher said, ‘Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?’ ‘No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!’

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Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. ‘Why do you do that, mommy?’ he asked. ‘To make myself beautiful,’ said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Little Johnny. ‘Giving up?’

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The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, ‘Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?’ Little Johnny quickly replied, ‘NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!’

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Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. ‘Yes,’ said the policeman. ‘The detectives want very badly to capture him. Little Johnny asked, ” Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture ? ”
(this is my favorite)

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Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, ‘Dad, why are you doing that?’ His father replied, ‘Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, ‘Dad, I think the mailman wants to buy Mom ..’

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Remember, if you think you have a great idea or post to help other people laugh, shoot me an email. If picked, I’ll even give your blog a shout out! Some of you have been coming up with some great stuff. Just keep in mind, I need to be able to re-post the whole thing on mine (not just a re-blog, the funny gets lost in the translation) and I’m a PG13 blog so other than that….let’s make people laugh!

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~~~till we laugh again~~~