Some Quick Laughs to Brighten You Day

Wanna Laugh?  

Let’s See if Any of These Do the Trick!

Make Me Laugh If you are like me, you love to laugh. I love the quick and funny ones that are so silly you can’t help but laugh. 

Here are a few to help brighten you day….

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Q: What has holes but never spills water?

A: A Sponge

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Q: What does the grape say when smashed?

A: Nothing, just gives a little whine

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Q: “Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? 

A: She didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills.”

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Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long

A: Then it would be a foot!

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Q: How do you turn soup into gold?

A: Add twenty four carrots

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Q: What type of shoes are made from bananas?

A: Slippers

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Q: Did you hear the one about the roof?

A: I’m sure it was over your head

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Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked into court?

A: Odor in the court!

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Q: Why are math books always sad?

A: They have way too many problems

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Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?

A: Stick with me kid, and we will go places!

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Hope one or two make you laugh!

Feel free to share some of your favorite jokes! 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

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Cute Jokes You Can Tell Anyone




Make Me Laugh! 

Make Me Laugh

Ok, I get tons of great jokes from my most popular post:  EVERYONE LOVES A CUTE JOKE

Folks have been stopping by for years telling me jokes that make me crack up! So I thought we could create one big long post just of great silly jokes you can tell anyone. Young and old. My only request is you keep it clean. (You know who you are!).  After all, we do have some kiddies that will land on this page. Let’s make them laugh!!!!

 

Here are just a few to get the ball rolling!

  • What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
      • Hop in…
  • What did zero say to eight?
      • Nice belt…
  • Why do Sharks swim in salt water?
      • Because Pepper water makes the Sneeze!!!
  • What do you say when you are comforting the grammar police?    
      • There, They’re, Their

 

Please, I beg you..help others to laugh….Leave a joke in the comment section. Let’s see how many we can share!! (ok, I just added a Page to the Website instead of a post. This way people can always find a long list of cute funny jokes. So head to the tab up top for the Funny Jokes and share away!!

 

Thanks!! And keep laughing!

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

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Little Johnny’s at it Again……

 

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Today’s smiles come from my mom. She sent me these cute Little Johnnie jokes….

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Little Johnny’s at it again…… A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’ After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.. The teacher said, ‘Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?’ ‘No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!’

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Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. ‘Why do you do that, mommy?’ he asked. ‘To make myself beautiful,’ said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Little Johnny. ‘Giving up?’

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The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, ‘Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?’ Little Johnny quickly replied, ‘NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!’

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Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. ‘Yes,’ said the policeman. ‘The detectives want very badly to capture him. Little Johnny asked, ” Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture ? ”
(this is my favorite)

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Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, ‘Dad, why are you doing that?’ His father replied, ‘Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, ‘Dad, I think the mailman wants to buy Mom ..’

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Remember, if you think you have a great idea or post to help other people laugh, shoot me an email. If picked, I’ll even give your blog a shout out! Some of you have been coming up with some great stuff. Just keep in mind, I need to be able to re-post the whole thing on mine (not just a re-blog, the funny gets lost in the translation) and I’m a PG13 blog so other than that….let’s make people laugh!

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

Kids Are Too Funny!

Ok, It is Wednesday and for most of you the week already feels like it is gone on wayyyyyyyy to long.

So with that, how about some more cute kid jokes?

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Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team?
She ran away from the ball.
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A bologna sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve food here”.
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Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Where you left it!
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*Three pieces of string walk into the bar, but the bartender says, “sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.” Angrily they leave, but outside, one of the strings has an idea. They twist together and tie themselves and reenter the bar.
“Hey,” says the bartender. “Aren’t you those pieces of string?”
“No, I’m afraid not (a frayed knot).”
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When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar
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What do you call a cow with no arms or legs?
Ground beef
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A man walks into a bar and says…
oww!! (lol, get it?)
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What do you call a hundred rabbits marching backwards?
A receding hare-line
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The Olympic organizers have just announced that origami will be included in the 2016 games.
It will only be available on “paper view”.
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Did you hear about the new pirate movie?
It’s rated ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH.
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Q: What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
A: Nacho cheese!
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My personal favorite of the bunch….

What do you get when you cross and elephant and a rhino?
Elephino!
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Hope you liked a couple of them….

Maybe tomorrow I’ll tell you about my night with a murderer….

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

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Hey… Have you Met Dum Dum?

We all need a Dum Dum in our life.

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Two Dum Dums lock their keys in the car. One of the Dum Dums tries to break into the car while the other one watches.

Finally the first dum dum says “Darn, I can’t get in the car!” The other dum dum replies, “keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down”.

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Q: How do you keep a Dum Dum busy for hours?
A: Write “Please turn over” on both sides of a piece of paper.

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Q: Why did the dum dum get fired from the M&M factory?
A: He was throwing all the W’s away.

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Looks like our Dum Dum was having a tough year

January – Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February – Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels…..”duh”…..bottles won’t fit in typewriter!!!

March – Got excited…..finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months…..box said “2-4 years!”

April – Trapped on escalator for hours…..power went out!!!

May – Tried to make Kool-Aid…..8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets!!!

June – Tried to go water skiing…..couldn’t find a lake with a slope.

July – Lost breast stroke swimming competition…..learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August – Got locked out of car in rain storm…..car swamped, because top was down.

September – The capital of California is “C”…..isn’t it???

October – Hate M & M’s…..they are so hard to peel.

November – Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days…..instructions said 1 hour per pound and Dum Dum weighs 108!!!

December – Couldn’t call 911…..”duh”…..there’s no “eleven” button on the phone!!!

What a year!! Poor Dum Dum

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A Dum Dum walked into a doctor’s office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked, “What happened to your ear?” The Dum Dum replied, “I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear.
Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, “Well, what happened to the other ear?”
“The sucker called again!”

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Q. What is the fastest way to get a one-armed Dum Dum out of a tree?
A. Wave at him!

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Ok, I’ll stop. I’m sure one of these made you laugh!

I personally liked the last one!

Have a great weekend and remember, if you don’t know a Dum Dum….

It might be you!

😀

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Who Would Make Fun of an Elephant?

Duh!! I would!

`

Ok,  I love elephants. Don’t worry, I’m not planning on starting a new collection!  Besides, they are way to big for the house.

But I did see a cute elephant joke today and thought I’d share a few to help you laugh for the day. So here we go……

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Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.

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What time is it when an elephant sits in a chair?
Time to buy a new chair!

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Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly?
Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin!

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Why do elephants have trunks?
They’d look pretty stupid with glove compartments.

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Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stomp out forest fires.

Why do elephants have large feet?
To stomp out flaming ducks!

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How do you hunt for elephants?
Hide in a bush and make a noise like a peanut.

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Why doesn’t the elephant use the computer?
Because it is afraid of the mouse!

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Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
So he wouldn’t get his tennis shoes wet.

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What is the same size as an elephant, yet weighs nothing?
An elephant’s shadow!

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You got to admit, Elephants sure know how to party!

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

How About some Laughs & Some Love

First, I’ll start with the laughs…

 

Tom:  What do you mean by telling everyone that I’m an idiot?
Sally:  I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was supposed to be a secret!

 

Q. Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
A.  Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over!

 

Q. What did the triangle say to the circle?

A. You’re pointless.

 

Q:What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?
A:Dill me in!

 

 

Q. How do crazy people go through the
forest?

 

A. They take the psycho path.

 

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo Who?
Don’t Cry these bad jokes are over now.


 

Now for the love:

I want to make sure I acknowledge the following folks for sharing their love with me:

 

Benzeknees who hit me upside the head, I mean tagged me a few days ago. Ok, maybe it was a week ago. I’m a slow runner, what can I say. She’s also great at pushing me to be funny. Or shall I say funnier. Now that I think about it, she is kinda mean to me.  LOL.  just kidding. nut-n but lub!

The Candy over at Finding Order Thru Chaos nominated me for the Liebster Award. Unlike Benzeknees, Candy thinks I’m (and I quote) “Hilarious”. I’d like to think it is just me, but maybe I’m the only one she follows that is messy. Or maybe, she only has dull people in her life. I’m not sure. But for now, I’ll take “Hilarious”.

And if that wasn’t enough, I got this special award from Dotty Headbanger since I am “Brilliant” at pushing the Like Buttons she Forced, I mean I wanted to click for her.

 

So much love….What’s a Girl to do….

Thank you to you…. Three Unique Women of the Blogging World!

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~