Crack is Whack, Especially Butt Crack


When did it become OK for people other than plumbers to show their butt crack? I’m surprised plumbers everywhere aren’t holding Occupy Butt Cracks across America in protest of others stealing the one thing that made them unique.

I think I’ve seen more butt crack in the past few days than most people see in a life time (except for those living in a nudist colony of course).

Think about it, are eyes are burned by the “crack” all day long. We have become immune to it. We wont smack our kids on the butt when they misbehave but we will let them be exposed to butt crack.

Some of the butt crack comes from the types of pants that people want to wear today.I think the clothing industry must have adopted the practices we are seeing in our grocery stores now a days. Think about it, boxes of cereal, ice cream, etc are getting smaller even though the prices are getting higher. These clothing manufacturers must be cutting back on the amount of material that goes into the butt portion of the pants we are wearing. It’s not these folks’ problem they are showing crack, it’s Levi’s and Gaps.

Belts must be smaller, guys can no longer either afford them or the belts are only big enough to go around their legs vs their tummy. And what is this “skinny” jeans on guys? How these dudes even get them to go over their junk is amazing. However the minute they bend over, out comes the crack of dawn.

Ladies, I’m not sure why you are laughing right now. First off, those of you wearing your thong up your crack. If you find the need to dental floss between your cheeks, then more power to you on your hygiene . However, I’m pretty sure the rest of us are not interested in watching you swallow up that string.

The biggest contributor to butt crack exposure? Chairs. Yep, a simple innocuous item is the cause of many burning eyes. It works like this…

Person with pants to short, shirt to short, sits down. Back of chair rides up shirt, butt pulls down pants – WHA-LA! INSTANT BUTT CRACK!

And, don’t even get me started on how not all butt crack is created equal.

Well, I think I have proven my point. There is butt crack everywhere. So unless people are going to start using this exposed area as a new holding area for cell phones, credit cards, pens, etc, I think we need to start putting them back where they belong. With the plumbers. Let’s give them back their most identifying calling card.


~~~till we laugh again~~~