Ok, Time To Learn Something…

Ok, everyone, time for Aunt Tammy to teach you all something. 

For the past 2 days in two different locations, I have run into a situation that is showing we are lacking some education in the world. Being the giver and teacher I am, I am going to address this need right now. Feel free to share in your circle of influence if you are running into the same thing.

Yesterday I go into a public restroom and find this….

(thank you google)

(Not actual picture, I’m not that sick and gross to take my own picture of someone’s “leftovers”)

Now, first and foremost. I don’t need to see your floating left overs nor do I need to see that you ate too much popcorn the night before and have created nice little clog for the poor porcelain god. Nor am I impressed with your ability to hide the evidence by stuffing tons of TP in the toilet to hide the true reason for the clog.

Now, it does happen from time to time our little insides are just dying to release at the worse possible time and the worse possible way. Anyone who says this hasn’t happened to them is lying.

But here is my issue.

(thank you google – again)

See the thing sitting next to the toilet? It is called a plunger.

Here is a close up in case these are new to you.

(thank you google – again)

Now, here is where the breakdown seems to occur. Maybe folks don’t know how to use this device.  It is actually very simple. Just plug your nose if needed and hold back the gag reflex like I had to yesterday to fix this problem.

Insert into said toilet, create a seal, and push back and forth creating a sucking sound. Success will eventually come and everything will be free to float down the sewer highway.

Granted sometimes you have to whip out the big artillery but this simple technique will resolve 90% of the clogged toilets in the world.

So yesterday my need to go potty was greater than my need to be grossed out. No bathroom for next 5 hours wasn’t going to work and obviously the culprit wasn’t going to fix it them self, so I took the dirty deed on myself.

Then TODAYYYYY, I come into work and guess what? Same freaking thing? Do I look like Mr Roto Rooter?

Once again, I take the handy plunger located right next to the clogged unit in question and within 30 seconds we were back in business.

Please pass along this easy to use tip….

If you clog up a toilet and the plunger is located within arms reach, please plunge your own pooh away.

Thank you for your support

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Watch Were You Spit!

I’m a pretty easy going person as I have mentioned before. Keep your pants up and I’m happy.

However, some kid today reminded me of one of the things that drives me up a wall.

If you feel the need to hock up a big loogie, do me a favorite and don’t spit it right in front of my store where my customers walk in.

While you are at it, how about you don’t spit it anywhere on the ground I walk on? Especially in the parking lot where I get out of my truck, step down then discover your bodily fluid you left behind for me.

And If I’m putting in requests, how about you don’t do it in front of me period? It is so gross. The sound you make is gross, the flying projectile is gross and the resulting pool of crud is gross. Did I mention how gross this is?

But then again, our sport figures do it all the time while on TV, why would our children (especially our boys) think this wasn’t ok?

david beckem spit

But come on,  G R O S S… Maybe it’s just me.


Sorry, not so sure how funny this post is, so here are a couple of spit jokes just in case…

#1 ~~ Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest Stamps?

They had pictures of lawyers on them and people couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.


#2 ~~ A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can.

He doesn’t want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, “I spat in this beer, do not drink!”.

After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, “So did I!”


~~~till we laugh again~~~

NO! I do not want to look in your eye!

If you get something in your eye, NO! I will not look in your eye for you. Don’t even ask. I don’t care how much I like you, how much I love you, or if you are my mother. Find someone else. Period.

Just Googling images of eyeballs has made me physically ill.

Did I mention I’m grossed out by eyeballs?

I’m not sure when it happened, but I have a theory. When I was younger my grandmother took us to see a movie called Rabid and during the movie someone’s eyes got gouged out and put in a jar. From that moment on, I don’t want to see an eyeball any closer than arms length and as long as they are in your sockets.

The problem is, when people find out I don’t like them, they are determined to gross me out by showing me their stupid eye tricks. So here is a list of things I don’t want to “see”….

  • DO NOT ask me to look in your eye for an eyelash – I will lie and say I see nothing which really is true because if my eyes are shut when I look, I really did see nothing
  • DO NOT flip your eye lids up – I will guarantee you I will cuss you out like a sailor on shore leave
  • DO NOT pop your eyes out of your sockets – You are a freak of nature and I am pretty sure I will vomit all over you.
  • DO NOT try and trick me either – I will kick your ass (and yes I did swear) and I do mean it.   😀

When I was a senior in high school I took anatomy. I could skin the cat, play with it’s dead carcass for weeks – yet when we watched the video on the eyeball, the moment a giant eyeball popped on screen, I claimed i had to go to the bathroom and didn’t return till the end of class when I knew the video was definitely over.

Once one of my nephews discovered this, he thought he was so freaking funny when he flipped his eyelids up. I wanted to slug him (don’t worry, I never did so no need to call child protective services – although one day you might – just kidding, calm down)

Well, now it is out. I have confessed the one thing that really makes me violent.

I’m grossed out by many things (blood for example) but nothing makes me as violent as someone thinking they are funny with the eyeball stuff. If it wasn’t that movie that damaged my psyche those many years ago, then I’m pretty sure I had a bad experience in a former life that still haunts me. It’s a strange reaction from someone who rarely gets bothered by anything. I let 99.99% of stuff roll off my back like a duck. So it is odd the reaction these essential parts of our anatomy give me.

So, please keep your eyes behind your eyelids and find someone else to help you with that eyelash you got stuck. Cuz it sure will not be me helping you out.   😀

Is there anything that does this to you?


~~~till we laugh again~~~

Seafood Just as Gross as Peas

So tonight we went to the buffet at our local casino. Now, first off, I’m not a fan of buffets. But that is a blog for another day. But today was extra torturous as I forgot it was a special buffet night – Seafood night.

Now, I’ve already discussed my hatred of peas (Peas! My Mother’s Favorite Torture Tool). But let me tell ya, Seafood is a close second. I can’t stand the stuff. I can’t stand the smell and I can’t stand the taste. Don’t even get me going Crab & Lobster.

Ok, first off, the smell. Even as a kid, just walking by the seafood cabinet in the grocery store would make me sick. The smell is so overpowering. Instant gag. Holding my nose as I walk by. Eyes beginning to water. I’ll skip an aisle if needed. And tonight, sitting in a buffet with 99% of the people around you eating this all you can eat crab, the smell was so overwhelming. How on earth people can eat food that smells that bad is beyond me.

And the piles and piles of broken legs sitting in bowls. Hands smothered in watery slime. Five hours of work for a tiny pile of food. Amazing.

Now, here is my biggest issue. I have people close to me that love to eat seafood. And they think Red Lobster is the holy grail of dining. I refuse to go. Plus, trust me, after all these years they don’t want to take me either. Want to know why? Tough! I’m telling you anyways. It’s my blog.   😀

If you insist on sitting across from me eating crab or lobster then you will have to listen to me pretend I’m your food. “Oh no, don’t break my legs!” “Oh, there goes my knee caps!”  “Oh, don’t rip my back open and take my guts.” When we walk in and see the lobsters swimming around, I say, “Don’t pick me, Don’t pick me I have children!”. Think about it, these suckers are boiled alive! How would  you like that to happen to you?

What about those dishes where the fish is laying on your plate staring at you? WTF??? I don’t want my food looking back at me.

And why is it that the only comeback you seafood loving weirdos have is, “Well you eat a hamburger and steaks…”

I can 100% guarantee you that if they put the freaking cow on my plate I wouldn’t be eating it either!

So, in the end, if you love seafood, I’m not going to try and stop you from eating your little shrimp with poo in it, but I also don’t want to hear you tell me that you can cook some (fill in blank) fish that I would never be able to tell was fish. Everyone is determined to convert me.

Do you seafood folks get a brand new Crab Leg Cracker for everyone you convert? No thanks. I’ll just be over at Outback while you eat.

Now, in fair disclosure, I do like canned tuna fish. Odd huh? The only thing I like – is the one thing true fish eaters hate. How ironic is that? So typical of me.

Oh well, I survived Seafood Night and it gave me a great topic for my post tonight. I guess I could be grateful for that.   😛

~~~~till we laugh again~~~