Did You Miss Me?

I know you did. What’s not to miss?

Then again, you didn’t even know I was gone until I told you.   😀

~~

So, I have just spent the past few days moving my sister from California to Arizona. It is always good to move someone from 75 degrees to 115 degrees. Makes them really warm up to the place.  (dang I crack myself up with that pun —think about it, you’ll get it).

I could probably have days of material to write about to make you laugh your ass off for weeks, yet I realize I have to live and if I pick on my sister I’ll get killed and I’ve grown attached to breathing.

However, without giving away too much, let me just say that if I never see another one of these in my life, I would totally be ok with it!

Let’s just say that I if anyone invested in Rubbermaid in the past few months, my sister has personally done her best to increase the value of your stock.

There is a reason they say one of  the top stressful things you can do is move. Especially after living in the same house for 20 years. I’m thinking it is just as stressful on the person helping you move the 20 years of totes. I’m just saying.

The fun part was driving the big 26 foot truck through the mountains and desert. Especially when your 15 year 11 month old permit carrying, wanna be driving nephew is following you. (with his mother of course ). I’m so proud of him. Not only did he let us abuse his 6ft strong self for moving (you got it ~ totes) but he got some great experience driving.

He got to deal with slow-moving trucks (including me at times) on mountains to those whizzing by with empty loads. He got to realize driving 7 hours straight is way over rated no matter how excited you are to drive.

Not our storm but darn close looking

The day prior to leaving I was telling him that when he takes his Arizona test, one question not found in California’s is what to do when you find yourself caught in a dust storm. I explained to him, when it is bad, you pull aside and let it pass. Well, wouldn’t you know it, as we made our way into Arizona, I look up and see two separate storms. One on each side of the freeway. As he drives behind me, I think…”I bet you these two combine.” JINX! Yep, in a matter of minutes, the two collide and become this big storm now heading our way quickly. (just like the picture).

He is behind my truck and all I can think of is, dang, I told him what to do yesterday so I better set the best example. So I pull aside and start a chain reaction of other trucks and cars. Yep, another fun experience he can cross off his list and be prepared for the next time. Which during this time of year, is probably once a week.

Well, I suppose I should go patrol some of your blogs and start to catch up. I feel so behind after the past 4 days. What if something big happened in the WordPress Blogging world and I missed it? Sniffle Sniffle.  What if you all abandoned me like I abandoned you? What if I created the largest game of hide n seek? Oh no!

Just do me a favor….Don’t hide in a tote.

~

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Yelling, Screaming and Being Loud are NOT Ways to Communicate!

Psst, ummm, just so you know…. I’m right here. You don’t need to yell.

If I’m standing less than 3 feet from you, why is it you feel the need to yell?

Granted, I might be slowly going deaf, but there is no need to scream to communicate. It will actually make me want to listen less.

When I was a kid, my brother and sisters were loud. And I guess with 4 siblings the main communication style will probably be LOUD for some reason. Everyone fighting to be heard. I love my siblings, just not the loudness. When I turned 18, I moved out shortly there after. To this day I tell everyone it was because everyone was so loud.  Twenty eight years later, they still don’t believe me.  LOL

Take a phone for example. Either a land line or cell will work. Last time I checked, your mouth goes where you talk and your ear where you hear. But have you noticed how some people answer their phone and go from a normal speaking voice to a yelling loud one? You’d think they were talking on tin cans for god’s sake.

I have young lady that works for me who when ever she is on the phone with her mother, she just starts yelling to be heard. I’m constantly telling her to stop screaming at her mother. To which she says…”I’m not yelling.” I think…I suppose you’re not if your goal was everyone to participate in the conversation.

But she fits the other group that yells / get loud. Why is it when family members talk to each other they feel the need to scream at each other to communicate? It’s not like they are even really mad at each other. My one nephew will scream the other one’s name for no reason at all. I’m always like..he is right there, why do you have to scream?

But there is a difference between being LOUD and screaming to be heard. Why do people insist on screaming to communicate? Do they not realize that it just makes the other person want to fight back more? That is turns on ones defenses? Trust me, if you start screaming at someone, they will want to scream back.

I think this is why I love my quiet time. I love when it is peaceful. Problem is, when people come around, it tends to get loud. Why is it when we are alone we wish others were there and when they are we want them to go away? Oh yea, cuz they are loud!  LOL.

The sad thing is, most people aren’t angry or mad. They just think that the louder they get, the more likely they will be heard. It has become acceptable to just scream at other people to make them hear us. I hate to tell you, for me it just causes me to tune you out more. Yep, I’m more likely to ignore you if you are yelling at me. Even if you don’t mean it.

~~

Maybe I’ve always had sensitive ears. LOL.

So do me a favor….I’m right here. No need to scream or yell. I promise, I’ll hear you.

 

Does this drive you nuts too?

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

~~~

z




People Crack Me Up

People crack me up…

5 people walk in the store….

Me:  ” Hello there”

Them: Silence

~~

Me: “Let me know if there is something you want to try?”

Them: Silence

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Me: Stare off a moment…Make direct eye contact with one…Hello

Her: Silence

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Me: One of them will say hi dang it!  Ten year old boy staring at me now…”Would you like to try something?”

Him: Silence…grabs mom’s shirt (what am I gonna attack him?)

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Me: “Just let me know when anyone is ready”

Them: Still silence

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Me: Walk off a minute…mumble to self, “they all can’t be deaf”

Them: still just staring off at the menu

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Me: Wander back. One more try…”Any one decided yet?”

Them: Silence…. They are killing me!!!

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An eternity later (or 10 minutes if looking at a real clock – no joke)

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Mom: Chocolate

Me: Knock me over with a feather…they do talk!! Ok, at least one of them…..

~~

Turns out they all can talk!

Just not to me.

I’m pretty sure I showered this morning.

sniff sniff…. yep

~~

Sad part is….. People do this all the time to us… never acknowledging us.. I have to teach the kids not to take it personally.

Even sadder?  These people actually turned out really nice once they ate they ice cream. Then they started talking to me and laughing.

~

People are odd creatures….

~

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Sunday Funnies Edition 2

Ok, last week everyone seemed to like my Sunday Funnies idea so I think I’ll run with it!

For this weeks edition, we have to tackle the fact that today is Mother’s Day.

Why not celebrate Yo Momma!

I thought about doing a bunch of yo momma jokes….

Then I realized I didn’t want to be too mean…After all it is suppose to be a celebration….

Then I thought we could talk about how mom’s have superpowers….

But we don’t want to give away all their secrets….

Then again, mom’s wouldn’t be mom’s without their kids and we all know kid’s say the darndest things…

But really, what we should be celebrating are those mom’s that give all mom’s a great reputation…

Like this mom…

Ms Tan em Till Their Brown Mom

Or, even the Mother of all moms….

Ms Octomom ~ mom of what 16 or 17?

(Did you think it would have been the mom from 20 kids and counting?)

 

Yep, cuz these mom’s are what every mom strives to be someday….

Famous!

 

Ok, maybe no so much…

To all the Mom’s out there today….

Happy Mother’s Day!

 

May your children (young or old) not drive you as batty as they do all the other days of the year!

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

 

 

A Few Thoughts as We Head into Mother’s Day

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. All across the land people will be giving their mom’s Happy Mother’s Day cards or possibly be receiving them. They might also include flowers, stuffed animals or a nice brunch or dinner.  Thanking their mom’s for being the Best Mom a kid could ever have.

Some folks will not be celebrating this tradition as they have either lost their mother or maybe their memories are not those warranting gifts of appreciation for the hell their moms put them through.

I’m not sure any mom is perfect. Sure you have the extremes. The TV perfect moms who do everything right; who raise perfect children, creating perfect memories. Then the other extreme of abusive and downright mean moms who inflict pain on their “evil” spawn.

I like to think there are more of the first extreme than the second, but sadly that probably isn’t the case.

The good news is, most moms probably fall in the middle. They aren’t perfect but they try their best given the current situation at any given time. They love their children no matter how much they drive them nuts and they might want to murder them. They sing to their kids even if they can’t carry a tune and they tell them “no” even when they may want to say yes.

Through the course of any day, most moms will be loved and hated by their children depending on the hour.

When those children grow up, their mom will be responsible for every bad thing that ever happened to them in their life. Yet, those same “adults” wouldn’t change their mom for any other mom.

We are a funny species.

Yet, as Mother’s Day roars in this year, everyone is forced to say, “Dang, I love and appreciate my mom.”  We make that trek to Walgreen’s for her card, standing there trying to find the perfect one since we don’t say it to her the other 364 days of the year.

We created a day for everyone to slow down a moment and thank the woman who kisses their ouchies, the woman who was mean when they couldn’t go out with their friends, the one who took away their toys when they were bad, and the woman who they ran to when they were scared and needed protection.

It really begs the question….

Why do we wait until Mother’s Day to appreciate the person who tried their hardest to be the best mother they could?

I love ya Ma….

And I know that no matter what good or bad happened in my childhood, I was and will always be grateful for how hard you tried. 

Are You Taking the Challenge? These Might Help

So earlier today I challenged all my readers to make some laugh today

—->   The Laughter Challenge.  

 

Sounds like many, if not most of you were up for the challenge. We are almost half way through the 24 hour period so if you haven’t done it yet…..There is still plenty of time!

The baby pictures on that post were a hit, so I thought I’d add a few more here to help amp you up for the challenge. However if you don’t like babies, maybe not so much.  But keep reading anyways since i know you will like something.

So, let’s get to laughing! (I’ll settle for smiling too)   😀

Rut Ro.. I think I found something in my diaper

Dude! I so can smell it!

Oh, is that what that was??

Yea dude, I thought something was ripe

I’m not quite sure why all of you are laughing

Ok everyone, let’s go laugh!

~~~till we laugh again~~~

The Spirits Did It…I Swear…

Well, if you have been waiting on pins and needles to find out what happened to my mom’s keys, I can tell you that after hours and hours and hours (I suspect minutes) my mother finally came to the conclusion that a Spirit must have taken her keys.

She serious by the way……

Stop laughing….

She started this theory last night as she had a strong feeling someone didn’t want her back out on the road yesterday (they must have seen her driving abilities).

Personally, I think she’s right. I think my grandmother who passed this time of year was just letting her know she was thinking of her. You see, one of the keys was to my Grandmother’s old car.Coincidence??? Hmmm, you decide.

Then this morning. My “Pops” decided to join in the hunt and low and behold he found the keys in some little tiny hidden corner. So at this point, I’m thinking, if it wasn’t my grandmother thinking she was funny, it might have been him. I’m just saying. And if it was him, he might be joining my grandmother in the afterlife becuase I think my mom would kill him.

At the end of the day. Crisis is over. Thanks for all of your help looking around the internet for them.

PS. My mom really does see spirits. Maybe someday we can do a few posts on those. (That is if I get to live for making fun of her again two days in a row)

Love ya Mommy    😀

Love, your #1 Brat

~~~Till we laugh again~~~

A Birthday Memory ~~ A 30 Year Gift

Last week when I busy doing my little series about the days of the week ~ my birthday came and went.

(Please hold down the applause that I survived another year and how excited you are that I get to make you laugh for another one)    😀

Birthdays have always been weird in my family. My sisters (one more than the other) are big into birthdays. Celebrating the day of your life. I on the other hand, appreciate the birthday, but since I’ve worked almost every single birthday, most of the time it is just another day. This year included. (for the record, my brother falls somewhere in between)

When I was young, we didn’t have much money. My mom was very young when she had me (she had just turned16) and had four of us by the time she was 21. So as you can imagine, money was tight. But my mom always did what she could to make us feel special on our birthdays.

As I got closer to my 16th birthday, I secretly wished for what every 16 year old lays in bed praying about. Yep, getting a car for my birthday. Now, logically I knew this was impossible. We simply had no money. But that reality doesn’t sink into a 16 year old’s head. The dream stays alive. The hope burns internal.

When my 16th birthday arrived I laid in bed praying that some miracle happened overnight. That some how my mom found a way.

SIDE NOTE: What’s interesting is, we all get this feeling, long after our youth. How many times has your mind & heart dreamt of the possibility even though the little voice inside was trying to tell you not to expect it? (the 1/2 billion dollar lottery couple weeks ago being a great example)

Back to my story….

That morning after saying those last little prayers, I began my new year of life.

Like taking off a band-aid, I might as well just rip it off….

There was no car sitting in our drive way with a big red bow on it.   🙁

Nope. Not even a little hot wheels one for a good laugh.

Now, before I tell you what I did get, let me explain something many of you don’t know. I’m a tomboy. Always have been. If I wasn’t doing my homework I was outside playing over the line (baseball for 3-5), tennis or something with my brother and our friends. My brother always got the better toys in my mind. It drove my mom nuts that I refused to put on a dress. No freaking way was that going to happen. The word “Girly” and Tammy just weren’t used in the same sentence in my house.

With  that said, what did I get? I got 3 things…a $50 check, a $50 bill & a green figuring with a girl in a dress (gasp) holding a cake with a 16 on top.

Now, when a tomboy wants a car for their 16th birthday, the last thing they are expecting is a girl in a green dress.

You can only imagine the amount of pouting I did that day. I wasn’t mad at my mom. I knew there was no way I was getting a car. But for a few weeks that dream was alive in my mind and it felt real.

As the days passed, my mom needed to borrow the $50 bill for food or bills or something, and I’m pretty sure I never cashed the check (knowing my mom could use the money more than I could). The little girl in green went on a shelf as a reminder that she wasn’t the car I really had wanted.

But what might shock and surprise you is… it has been 30 years since I received the Girl in Green. She has moved 16 times (ironic I know) & across four states with me. And she still sits on a shelf in my home office. Not a crack, a chip or anything. She no longer reminds me of the car I didn’t receive. Today she reminds me of how much my mother loves me and how much she loved me that day I turned 16. And I wouldn’t trade her for anything. (the figurine and my mom – LOL)

The Girl in Green

Besides, had I gotten the car, I’m not sure it would have fit on my shelf 30 years later.

We might not always get the presents we want, but we usually get the presents we are suppose to.

Just like my mom got me for her 16th birthday.  😀

~~till we laugh again~~~

Fun with Fido…

A few years ago I bought someone I cared for a little tiny stuffed dog and named it Fido.

Later that year, this person had to spend a few months away from home to help their mom who had been hurt in an accident.

So while they were away Fido and I thought we would send pictures from home to help with a daily smile.

Here are a few of the pictures I took.

As you can see, it was just something fun. I encourage you to do something similar for someone you know that could use a smile.

I had a blast doing it and wish I would have kept it going.

Maybe I can start it up again.

Hmm, wonder where Fido is now?  Here Fido, Fido….. Now where is that fluffy sucker hiding…..

 

 

Yep, hiding in a cup….. Silly dog….

~~~~till we laugh again~~~