Control Your Kid – Pleaseeeee

OMG – Why can’t some parents control their kids?

Why is it a new mom will not let Little Johnny or Suzy two feet from them when they first start walking yet in the next year or two they don’t even have a clue where they are or what they are doing?

Don’t get me wrong, I love kids. Why else would I have an ice cream store?

During my many years at Home Depot I was always amazed at how parents never watched their kids. They would let them climb ladders, climb pallets of concrete and climb inside the racking. Did they not care if their kid fell? Or if they ate toxin? Or if they got cut? Hell, never mind the forklifts running around.

Now, I have to deal with these same kids opening and closing my freezers doors over and over. They open the cake freezer doors and poke holes in my ice cream cakes! Watching them lock my front door and laughing. And to top it off they don’t see them picking the candy off their ice cream and throwing it on the floor. Never mind the madness when the sugar kicks in and they run around like mad dogs and start banging on my windows. Yet there is mom and dad talking away not paying attention to Little Suzy or Johnny.

In both situations, I or others are left stopping these kids from their destruction. We say it nice as can be. But most of the time the parent doesn’t even recognize we are talking to their kids. And when they do, instead of embarrassment they look at us as if we are mean or some horrible monster to stop their kid from destroying our stuff or even worse hurting themselves.

Now, I’m not sure, but I’m going make a leap here. I’m thinking these same Little Johnny or Suzy’s are who grow up to be the foul mouth, attitude, destructive teenagers that I deal with as well. The same ones that are mad that I ask them not to sit at my outside table, the ones that bend my 15 min parking signs, the ones that graffiti the walls. They had no consequences as little rugrats which allowed them to become teenage brats. Hey, but that is just my theory.

But I’ll save my rants on today’s teenagers for another time.

I know none of my blog readers do this with their with their kids, but if you know someone, please I beg you, please have them leave my freezers alone because that banging they keep hearing is Little Johnny opening and slamming those freezer doors over and over.

Maybe you’ve lived this nightmare as well. And you know my pain.

Till we rant again..       =)

Prince Poppycock & Defying Gravity were robbed!

Ok, so – were you one of the millions that watched America’s Got Talent? Did you think the right person won?

Two words – HELLLLLL NO.

Don’t get me wrong, that Grimm dude was good. But would I buy his album? NO. Would I pay to see a Vegas show of his? NO.  Odds are, the people that voted for him wouldn’t either. Nor have they obviously been to Vegas.

Let’s get real shall we? Two acts were Vegas – Prince Poppycock and Defying Gravity. Period.

There are no opera singers in Vegas and the only regular singers are in lounge acts or major stars with shows.

Do you see the opera dude from last year making it big in Vegas? Nope. Heck, I’m at a loss for his name and I loved him.

But you do see the first winner Terry Fader the ventriloquist making millions. Those are the acts that make the big money.

Leave the singers for the other shows. Let’s not say we are looking for a Vegas act if we are going to have these singers. Yes they are talented but the masses are not going to go to Vegas to see them.

Don’t worry ABC, I’m not threating to stop watching, and yes I have no right to bitch since I didn’t vote (you can thank TIVO for that). But I do have the right to blog my opinion that Middle America got it wrong. I think Poppycock scared them.

But I promise you this; I will be one person that will go see Prince Poppycock in Vegas. He is Vegas. He is all that you go to Vegas to see in a show. I might even see Defying Gravity.

Ok, I feel better now. I can live with America’s poor decision and move on with my life.

I’ll be back in a year to see how many of you went to see Gimm’s show or if you even recall who won this year.

Till next time……

Dear Teenage Job Seeker

Through the years I have hired hundreds and hundreds of people. I’ve probably interviewed thousands. I have always been amazed at what I have seen. I have even offered my advice too many and now after spending two years watching teenagers walk into my store asking for jobs I feel it is important I share some key information with this demographic.

So here is my letter to the teenagers looking for a job:

Dear teenage or twenty somethinger,

Congratulations you are either looking for your first job or your next one of many. Either way, the advice I’m about to share is for you. As a business owner I think I speak for many others when I say the following:

First Impressions are very important.

–          Do you really need your posse of friends to escort you in? Is there safety in numbers?

–          Guys – Pull your freaking pants up! I do not need to see your cool boxers to determine if you will make a great fit for my team.

–          I understand wanting to have piercings but just so you know, the cool piercing in your nose, your cheeks, your tongue, or the big gauges in your ears  are not going to help you get a job serving the public. (Yesterday I had one with one in her nose, both her cheeks, under her lip and across her eyebrows – two words – OH MY!)

  • Special note on this one – I serve ice cream to kids, some of your piercings would scare the beegeebees about of the kiddies

–          Tattoos – while yes they are a works of art and they symbolize important things to you I’m pretty sure I’m not going to hire you with the naked women down your arm or the skull and cross bones on your neck.

  • See special note above about scaring the kiddies – not to mention freaking out the little tike’s mommy.

–          Attitude – Can you at least fake some enthusiasm? My lord some of you look miserable. I know its hot outside – but darn you look horrible. Its ice cream for Pete’s sake, it’s fun. If this is how you look wanting a job I’d hate to see what you look like after you get it.

  • But I understand – you’d rather be sitting on the couch playing your xbox but mommy and daddy made you go looking for a job (especially you twenty somethings that haven’t left home yet)

Time to cut the apron strings

–          You are the one I’m hiring, not your parents, so you need to be the one to come see me, to get the application, to fill it out. I’m not hiring mom or dad I’m hiring you. I don’t mind talking to them about it, but they can’t be the one to do all the work for you. It’s your butt that will be scooping the ice cream not theirs, so I want to talk to you.


Ok, this letter (and blog) is getting too long. I could go on and on. From not reading the application or maybe having an answer to a simple question like – Why do you want to work here? (HINT – know what store you are in before you open your mouth and words come out – look around first) But, for a moment I’m going to stop being a smart ass and give you some good advice once you’ve done all the above and this works for everyone who wants to get hired regardless of your age:

Persistence pays off.

Just because you have dropped off the application doesn’t mean you never have to come back again. Stop by each week and show me you really want to work there. The folks I’ve hired have shown me they really want to work there and I’ve gotten to know them by their weekly returns for a job. Show me what I’d be getting. Trust me, when I am hiring it is YOU I will remember first.

Thanks for reading this long ass post – not that anyone will listen – Afterall they ARE teenagers and we all know THEY already KNOW EVERYTHING so what do I know?

Silly me thinking that 25+ years means anything.

Till next time….

TTFN as Tigger would say


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Dear Future Tenants

So, those that know me know I have a few rental houses. Trust me, don’t feel happy for me, what seemed like a good idea years ago isn’t so much today.

But this blog post isn’t about whether I should or shouldn’t have or the current market conditions. No I’m not going to whine about the loss of equity. (not this time anyways) LOL

Here is my beef at the moment.

Last time I checked at no point did we discuss that when you (tenant) moved out, you could destroy my house!

I’d like to say this is rare, but alas it happens the vast majority of the time.

I like to think of myself as a landlord that works with my tenants. Especially when times get tough. Probably too much so at times. So it hurts that much more when in the end, tenants that were great for 11 months all of a sudden morph into sleeze balls.

So, maybe I need to modify my rental agreement to include the following true items that tend to occur more than I care for:

  • Tenant will not leave all their furniture behind when they move out. It is not my responsibility to get rid of your couch, your nasty ass beds, all your kids toys and your TV you broke 5 years ago. Not to mention your coffee table, shelves and whatever other junk you didn’t want to take with you.
  • Tenant will not attempt to fix plumbing on their own and use plastic to cover the big hole in the wall they made so that mold can grow and cause $2000 in additional damage to the drywall and cabinets.
  • Tenant will not let their dog shit all over the house and leave it there.  (this really happened, I thought we were going to die getting in the house – he was mad that he was being evicted for not paying rent – how mean of me)
  • Tenant cannot leave all their food in a fridge that the power is off too. That stuff gets smelly real quick. Especially the 3 month old fish you had in the freezer. Not to mention all the milk you split in the fridge and never wiped up.
  • IF you must cook on the stove – try cleaning it at least once in the year you live there. And do you really need all that grease in your food?? Well, most went in the food, the rest just got all over the stove, the walls and the cabinets.
  • While you are at it, I’m pretty sure the ceiling fans didn’t have 2 inches of dust on them when you moved in. How are earth have you been breathing all this time?
  • Tenants, please plan on replacing the 2-4 doors you will punch or kick holes in. You do know they aren’t punching bags? IF this is how you treat my doors and walls I sure the hell hope you aren’t hitting your kids or wife like this
  • Speaking of which, please don’t body slam your friends in the walls to see how big of a hole it would make. Not funny, not at all
  • Treat the carpet like you owned the place. You would KILL your kid if he or she spilled Red Kool Aid all over the new carpet if you had paid for it
  • Tenants, please hide all the crayons, markers, pens, etc from your kids. The white walls are not giant canvases for your kids to use. I really do not care how artistic Johnny and Suzie are. I do not need to have the walls covered in their art from the floor to 3 feet up.
  • Finally, if you can do those things plus pay your rent, we both will be happy. Oh hell, who am I kidding, your brats will still destroy my house in the end. You will let them and just think it is cute or you have just giving up disciplining them. But that is for a whole other blog someday.


Remind me again why I thought owning rental houses were a great idea????

Till we rant again….

PS. Ok, let me say this now:

A) Many of my tenants are wonderful. Love them. Great people.

B) I love kids. Even like many of them. Its not their fault their parents let them do anything they want.

C) I’m not being mean. I’m being sarcastic. Or did you miss the title of my blog????


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Bet u didn’t know ordering ice cream was so hard

The following conversation occurred earlier today:

CUSTOMER: I need two scoops of Oreo

ME: Cup or Cone



ME: So that’s two scoops in a cup of Oreo



ME: OK, so it’s not 2 scoops in a cup, so is that two cups with one scoop each?


CUSTOMER: (Now looking ticked off) – I said two scoops of Oreo in a cup

ME: (taking a deep breath) – I understand, I’m just asking, are the two scoops in one cup or is it two cups with one scoop each?


CUSTOMER: (Just staring at me now) –  Ohhhhh, I see. No, two different scoops in a cup.

ME: (Deep breath – holding up two single scoop cups) – Ok, one scoop in each coming right up.


CUSTOMER: Oh no, I need them in the same cup.


WTF???? Shoot me now, this can’t be this difficult. It’s ice cream people.

The sad part is I have this same conversation at least once a day.  LOL

No wonder why I had a headache today…

Is it Johnny can’t read or that Johnny doesn’t care?

I own an ice cream shop. Odds are you have been in one just like it. As you look into the case to select an ice cream flavor, there are little tags that tell you all about the ice cream. The flavor, what’s in it, any allergens, you name it.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I watch a customer read the tag then look right at me and ask “What’s in this ice cream? and does it have nuts?”   Huhhhhh?????

Now, at this point I have to bite my little sarcastic tongue. Because this is what they read on the tag: Chocolate ice cream with almonds and marshmallow’s in it (Rocky Road by the way).

Ok, now what do they think I’m going to say differently? Well, it vanilla ice cream, dyed brown. No, it has no nuts as almonds are like candy pieces.

But it isn’t only ice cream tags Johnny can’t read. If you work retail you have probably had a customer hold a product in their hand and ask if it had something in it. I fondly remember customers holding up Kitchen & Bath caulking and asking me, will this work on my tub? Hmm, wonder what that Bath part in the title is for???

So, does us verifying what they read make it true? Is it pretend till then? How have I done so well keeping my sarcastic mouth shut through the years?

Practice, practice, practice.  You get lots of practice when it happens at least once a day.  LOL

Ok, I need to go to bed… I have to verify some tags in the morning.

Sharing our thoughts

So, let me understand.

We have Twitter so we can share random short thoughts with those who for some reason want to follow us even though they have no idea who they are.

We have Facebook to share our lives with those we know or once knew or those that think they know us.

And finally we have Blogs to share the things that pop into our mind that we feel the world needs to know in more detail.

Now I got it.

Some how over the past few years we have discovered that the world must know us better and what goes on in our lives and our minds.

So hells bells, I guess I can set up this blog to go with my twitter and my facebook and maybe, just maybe, I can forgot to do my blog just like I do those other two.

Then again, I might not. Cuz I have TONS to be sarcastic about our everyday life. Cuz if you dont laugh at what life shows you, then you die. And what is the fun of that?