OMG, I Think She Might Be A Masochist!

Just when you think you know someone, you realize that you don’t.

It’s been 12 years, and I never really connected the dots.

Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning!

As I was giving her what she wanted, I thought

“OMG, I think she might be a masochist!”

How had I not realized this before? How did I miss all the signs?


I guess the first sign should have been the way she pushed her neck so hard into my hand or foot.

I swear she loves how it cuts off her air and she gags.

Having me do this night after night until I’m exhausted!

Then I think of all the odd cuts or scars she shows up with. Never complaining. Not even a peep. Not even the time she had a silver dollar size opening in her skin. Nothing. zilch, nada.

Even when visiting the Dr she let’s them poke and prod her. No flinching when the long needles come out.

She even insists on the anal temperature probe. Is that sadness I see when they stop???

If I’m honest, I swear she gets excited by the thought of pain.

Yes, my baby loves to be hurt. And she really loves it when I’m the one inflicting it I think.

I’m not quite sure how I feel about this new-found discovery.

But I do know, that nothing will stop me from loving her.



My Masochist Girl Loves Pain

How can you not love her?



~~~till we laugh again~~~

The Suspense is Over…

Yesterday I asked “How do you keep a blog reader in suspense?”


I guess I better have something good at the end of that rainbow. Yet here I sit with nothing. Yep, nada, ziltch, zero….

Maybe I worked too hard yesterday. It was a long one. Plus having to use my brain too much.

Then to make matters worse, I had to get up early today. The cable guy is coming over to do some “free” upgrade thingy on Direct TV Dish and one of my TVs. Yahoo, I’m finally going to have HD on at least one TV.

But in typical fashion, I took the 8am to noon slot so I could be at work by 2pm. Being that we live in the middle of no where, usually we luck out and get to be first on most plans of attack. I guess not today. I wake up early so I can shower.  I so wanted to close my eyes and go back to sleep in my chair. But noooo, I fight it.

Yet my dogs taunt me by sleeping on their pillows in front of me. I’m so jealous!

garfield sleeping pillow

But here I sit, 3 hours later and still no cable guy. I wonder if he knows he has exactly 50 minutes to get his happy butt here? The only thing in his favor is when he goes under the house, it isn’t going to be 95 degrees today.

Ok, I’m just rambling. I wont bore you any more. This post is making me sleepier. Maybe if I close my eyes he will show up. That is exactly what would happen.

Ok, I’ll probably be back later with a better post. But no promises. I don’t want to keep putting you in suspense.   😀

Oh, before I go. Here is a cute picture I found while looking for some sleeping ones. Thought you might get a little laugh.


~~~till we laugh again~~~

Happy Easter! Bonus Post – Aren’t You Eggs-cited?

Happy Easter Everyone!


Yep, a bonus post today. Why? Because I LOVE Easter Bunnies!

They are so cute. Unlike their real counter parts.

Same thing with eggs. Easter Eggs are so cute on the outside and disgusting on the inside.

Now, here is an example of  cute Easter Rabbits. Doesn’t they make your heart sink with love and ahhhh?  Unless you are dead inside (and yes I know who that might be) you loved the picture also. These pictures just make you want to hug a bunny.

Here is where the problem lies.

Bunnies = Cute & Cuddly

Rabbits = Mean, vicious, eat your cords, plants, etc.

My sister gave me a bunny one year a long time ago. It was so cute and cuddly and fun to pet. However, when it got out it would eat every cable or cord we had. Not so cute now. See, cute to pain in the ass in 60 seconds. (Kind of like some of your spouses – LOL)


Then, you take Easter Eggs. I remember as a kid loving to dye them and make them into colorful objects. My problem usually was I’m not that creative so my sisters made more sophisticated ones.

Then Easter would come and the time came to eat the suckers. I never ate them. Hard boiled eggs are soooooo grossss. That disgusting yellow/green center. Makes me want to puke just thinking about it.

But, today, I’ll just think about the cute side of both.


Well, I just felt the need to share this little tid bit of information with you, so you get a bonus post today. After all, tomorrow everyone will be moving on to the next holiday.

Yep, Earth Day.

Bet none of you knew that was next. And some of you are going Earth Day???

Ok, I best get some work done, “see” ya tomorrow!

Butterflies are Evil!

So a few days ago I wrote about the snake in the front yard, and what might amuse you is, I’m more bothered by Butterflies more than I am snakes. huh???

Yep, I do NOT like butterflies or moths.  Give me a snake, a mouse, or even a spider. (no cockroaches tho – bad memories).

Ok, it’s not that I don’t like them, I’m just not a fan. Why? I am not a fan of anything flying. I feel like they are attacking from all angles and freak me out. They start flying around me and I’m like “I’m outta here”

A group of us went to a Botanical Garden one time and they had one of those Butterfly enclosures. I was not having anything to do with it. But I sucked it up and went inside. I probably hold the record for the quickest entry and exit. Those suckers start flying around and my heart starts pounding. Exit stage left….

Worse than butterflies? Moths. At least butterflies are pretty, Moths got the short stick in the beauty department. But that isn’t why I don’t like them. They can’t help the fact they missed the crayon box of life. I hate moths because they feel the need to enter my home and hang out around my lights. Some slam into our windows thinking it is a door. Those suckers crash hard too.

They hang out on my porch when the light kicks on. There are several months out of the year where it is like playing moth dodgeball trying to get pass them and into the house without brining in 5-7 of them with you. Just yesterday I found one hiding in the corner of the bathroom thinking I wouldn’t notice him. I swear he turned his head whistling when I looked. You know, that move we all do when trying to be inconspicuous?

(side note, I’m pretty impressed with myself that I just spelled inconspicuous right on the first shot — although I just failed spelling spelled since I wanted to spell spelt)  LOL

Ok, back to the flying creatures of death.

The reason I was inspired to write this post was what occurred last night on my drive home. Living in the middle of no where, I’m use to having 3-6 bugs commit suicide on my windshield on the drive home. Really sucks after you just get through washing the old bug guts off.

Anyways, in the dark, I notice what I thought was a moth stuck on my wiper blade. Next thing I know, I’m driving 60 miles an hour with the realization that the moth is not on the outside of my truck, BUT THE INSIDE!

OMG! That little sucker (not the ucker I used by the way) better not touch me! I roll down both front windows hoping he will be sucked out. But nooooo, he was a tease. He just kept crawling his 2 inch self back and forth across the inside of the windshield. Hiding behind Yoshi (long story) and then back. That 5 minutes was the longest in my life. He disappeared right before I got home. And to be honest, I’m not sure if he has been trapped in there the past 12 hours. I guess I’ll find out in an hour.

This post is longer than I wanted. But let me tell you. Give me a snake any day over being held hostage in my truck by a moth.

Too Funny! I just discovered as I was doing my tags that there is not only an actual fear of butterflies and moths, but a dedicated Facebook page. LOL


~~~till we laugh again~~~


Is That a Turkey in Your Backyard?

I have a couple of rental properties. Over the years I’ve gotten some strange calls about my tenants, especially about their animals. But today was the weirdest one I’ve had in 7 years.

“Did you know XXX has a Turkey in his backyard?”

Huhhh???  A Turkey?

Now, this house is in a normal neighborhood. Not some country property. The typical animal is a pit bull or outdoor cat if you get my drift. But definitely not a large butt turkey in a cage.

Oh, and did I mention the rooster?

Oh my….I can’t wait to talk to him tomorrow on this one….  LOL

Gobble Gobble…..

Follow Up: I sent him a text just saying “Turkey??” He replied, “Yep, Turkey, 2 Ducks and 4 chickens”.  One day I’ll have to write a story on this man as he has provided me many laughs the past 5 years.

Shaking my head………LOL

~~till we laugh again~~~

Don’t Throw Rocks at that Rattlesnake!

Last night my mom and sister came to visit. And boy did we invite the welcoming committee for them!

As I’ve mentioned before, I live in the middle of the desert. For the most part the land is clear except some small bushes and some gravel that falls off the mountain after the rains. In the desert you get all kinds of critters. Not only the normal rabbits, prairie dogs, spiders, scorpions, lizards, geckos (not as cute as the TV one tho) but you always know that some slithering friends can be out there as well.

In the 8 years we have lived there we have had 2 rattle snakes creep up to the property. That is until last night.

My family came to my store and we headed to my house after it was dark. I tell them I’m just going to run in the milk and the other things I was carrying and I’ll be right back to help them carry in their stuff. I head back out with the entourage of the three dogs. They excitedly bound down the steps and I stop at the edge of the small porch when I hear this rattling sound. I look into the flower bed (which is more like a dirt bed with nice stones pretending to be a retaining wall) and I see the snake you see in the picture. Head up, tongue out, and hissing. Now, it’s dark and it is sitting on the water hose, so I’m not sure if there is one snake or two.

Now, as you know, I love humor in anything, and from this point on, I’m finding humor in the next 20 minutes. Let me share,

First off, we park right up in front of the house. I have no driveway as I live on the dirt and love being able to pull right to the door. So my mom and sister and the dogs are maybe 10 feet at most from where the snake is which is maybe a foot from our steps. The porch light is not strong enough to see it and being that we are in the middle of the desert, there are no street lights to see. So it is dark. So I use the light on my phone to get a better look. Yep, a rattlesnake. Drats. Nice welcoming committee I formed.

I tell them to stay put and I attempt to usher all three dogs quickly back up the steps and into the house hoping they don’t see our new friend. Knowing them, they would stick their nose right up to it to stiff if it was friend or foe. Once I get them inside, I put the dogs in my room so they don’t accidentally get out. I tell my family I’ll be right back as I”m going to try and find a flashlight. In the window we have like 3. Now let me ask you, do you think any of the 3 work at the moment? Two guesses…..N O.

I search around looking for another one only to find that it also doesn’t work. I guess it could be worse, we could have a black out and I’d really be up a creek I think. At this point I know my cell phone has a cool app that lights up all lights like a flashlight. And let me tell you, I’m pretty impressed with how bright it is.

I head back outside only to see my sister is now about 4-5 feet from the snake and throwing rocks at it!! What are you doing goof? You don’t throw rocks at a snake!

We laugh as I try and figure out a plan. At this point I know the snake is probably more afraid of us (ok, my mom probably is #1, then the snake, then my sister and I) if I was to rank scardi-catness.

How does my mom handle this situation? She climbs back in the car, says she is pulling in her feet just in case he decides to slither her way. Oh, and roll up the window in case it decides to fly the 10 feet into the small crack in the window she has left for herself.

So, I’m using the light on my cell phone to try and get the snake to retreat due to the light in his eyes. Silly I know, but it sounded good. I’m debating whether or not to use the shovel to move him. The angle he is at and the cramp area he is in, I know I can’t be 100% sure I would kill him.

I make the executive decision to at least get everyone in the house and we would go back out and get their stuff. I go back in the house a second and come back out and my mom is telling my sister to once again STOP THROWING ROCKS AT THE SNAKE

Silly girl doesn’t realize that the snake will fly out her if she irritates it enough. I just shake my head.

I tell them to grab the items they might need right away and hurry to get past the snake. Ok, this alone is funny. To me, I might grab one small thing, these two are grabbing all kinds of stuff. Once again, I shake my head. I look back and they are spending what feels like a 1/2 hour to decide on what is their one essential for the island.

Meanwhile, I look at the snake and he looks like he is ready to slither back through the stones and escape this nightmare he found his way into.

Now, I tell both of them to go to the far right of the steps and pray the snake doesn’t attack. (as I laugh at making it sound worse). Now my mom isn’t the fastest person on the planet and I’m just hoping the snake doesn’t look at her and think… “Easy pray”.  LOL

I get them finally in the house. And as we wait out the snakes retreat (which he left immediately after the crazy women went inside) we are sitting at my table talking. My mother reaches in her purse at one point, and says, look at this cool flashlight…

I look at her in amazement, “Mom, why didn’t you think about that when I was looking for a flashlight??!!” … “oh, I forgot.. Hee hee hee..

To which my sister says, “Oh yea, I have one too.”

I just shake my head at both of them.

Now you know why I’ve spent most of my life laughing at the crazy stuff that happens…..I was raised with people that make me laugh by the thoughts they have or rather don’t have.


PS. When a rattlesnake crosses your path.

A) Look in your mom or sister’s purse for the flashlight &

B) Tell them not to throw rocks at the snake

Oh and C) Make sure your flashlights have working live batteries


~~till we laugh again~~~

My Bingo Should Have Been a Shadow

This is my baby, her name is Bingo. Why Bingo? I’ve always thought it would be funny to have a dog named Bingo so I could sing – B I N G O and Bingo was her name-o.   😀

Bingo is almost 14 years old. Her momma was a Dalmatian and her daddy was a Chow. Yet, she looks just like a Black Lab. So for years we have just told people she is a black lab. Although she is a little thicker in the middle like a chow and has the chow black spotted tongue. But her looks and personality are of a black lab so that is what has stuck.

Bingo is an awesome dog. Greatest personality and temperament. And knowing that she is in her final years makes me really sad. Each day it is hard watching her age. The grey on her muzzle has grown so much, her hips are going out more and more and some days your heart breaks as you know she wishes she could run the big back yard like she use too.

For years she has been the first one to greet me when I come home. She gets so excited to see me and that makes me smile no matter how bad my day may have been.

For years I have called her Shadow because she follows me everywhere. And I mean everywhere. If I move more than 10 feet from her or round a corner she gets up and follows me. Even in her advancing years and the pain I know it must cause her, she still gets up. Even though I tell her not too.

I wish we could see in the future when we name our animals. Normally I wait a few weeks to see a little of the personality but even I wouldn’t have guess that 14 years later she would still be my Shadow.

Then again, it is fun yelling out Bingo when I’m trying to call her (now that is funny all on it’s own especially if you play bingo which I do occasionally). And when I’m really playing with her, I call her Bingo Dauber. (more bingo inside humor).

Today Shadow, I mean Bingo was making me smile which is why I was inspired for today’s post. I was in the shower and heard a big thump. Looking through the glass I could only smile because today like almost every other day, she came in and plopped down on the mat while I showered. And I realized how with each passing year, soon I will get out of the shower and she will not be there. But I will have wonderful memories for years to come of my baby girl following me everywhere.


~~~till we laugh again~~~


The Penguin Collection – Proof of Invasion

Ok, many of you asked for it. (At least in my head) so I thought I’d post some pictures of the Penguin Invasion I have. Now, before I show these pictures, it is important to note that what you may see may shock you. They might not be good for those of faint of heart.

I live in the middle of no where and there is a lot of dust. And to be honest, most of these suckers reside and party in my home office that I rarely use lately due to working out my office at my store. So some of these party animals have been rolling around in the dust, strolling over to other shelves to hang out with their friends in the second story (even though I made it very clear they weren’t allowed to go to their friends house when I wasn’t home and they were done with their homework). When will they learn to just sit at home playing video games like all the other children out there?

So if you are thinking of calling Penguin Protection Services, trust me, they are well taken care of, just a little rambunctious.

Now that my required legal disclosures are out of the way, time to stroll through some random shots I took via my phone. No professional photographer here (gosh knows there are tons of you already on WordPress and I’d hate to take up someones spot)  😉

First off we have the well behaved sophisticated group that is too good to hang out with the party kids

Here is the paper mache (however you spell that darn word) that my sister made me a long time ago

(you know you are admiring the sign behind his head too)

Then we have some of the Christmas Bunch (only a few as the others are protecting the Christmas ornaments from the Grinch

Then we have “The Bouncer” he babysits the rowdy ones when I’m gone

(yes, he really is 2 ft tall – don’t be jealous)

Then we have the good children, that aren’t cool enough for the glass cabinet but well behaved for their own shelf

(some look stuck up with their noses in the air tho)

And finally, the group you have all been waiting for, the rowdy, out of control children that are the life of the shelf party

(the one in the rain coat just got in from Seattle where he was visiting)

Ok, there you have it. Just a little glimpse into the Penguin habitat in Arizona I have built. Hope these pictures gave you a good laugh, smile or chuckle. If they did, then I did my job well.

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Penguins Make Me Smile

When I was a kid, most other munchkins collected something. Maybe it was Barbies, or Teddy Bears, or something. I could never find that perfect thing to collect.

Sure I kept trying though. When I was like 12 or 13 I collected keys. Yep, random keys for no reason. That didn’t last long though. Although to this day I can draw a good key and when I later worked at Home Depot I could cut keys, but alas this collection was short lived.

After that I was on a kick of saving TV Guides. Back then they were smaller and I had a total love of TV so the two made sense. I did this one a little longer but soon realized where the heck was I going to put these things?  Man, if I would have kept it up, I could have landed a spot on that Hoarders TV show. How ironic. TV guide covers on a TV show. (If I have to explain the full irony, you will never get it.)   😀

I remember one day saying I liked penguins. That I thought they were so cute. In their little tux suits always ready for a night out at a nice restaurant. I loved to watch them in the little enclosures at zoos or on TV specials.  

Little did I know, that I was setting myself up for a massive Penguin invasion over the next 20 years. I have all kinds of penguins. Little small  ones all the way up to the big paper mache one my sister made (tux, top hat and cane included). I have salt & pepper shakers, Christmas ones, stuffed ones, and glass ones. They are everywhere. A few years ago I told everyone to chill out on them a little unless they were unique. So now I just get the more interesting ones. Maybe I’ll take some pictures tomorrow to share.

But the point of the post is, Penguins make me smile. There is something about their rolly polly selves that just bring an instant smile to my face. I can be in a blah mood or a good mood and the reaction will be the same. Happiness. They are cute, loveable, and fun to watch. And I bet most of you, have fallen under their spell too. You just don’t want to admit it.

So, it begs the question…. What items / things do you see that instantly makes you smile?   that you know you can always count on to brighten your smile just from seeing them?

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Caption Time! What do you see?

OK, let’s have some fun.

I saw this picture and cracked up laughing. Hopefully you will get a smile as well.

So, today’s post will be short and sweet.

Remember our mission. A smile, a laugh, a chuckle a day. Even if it is a small one.

As for the picture, I’m not sure if the dog is trying to lick the puppies or if the puppies knocked him down and started to tie him down thinking he was Gulliver.

Here are two captions to get us going…

  • He looks into the lens and screams…. Help Me.
  • Puppy says… Funny, he doesn’t smell like Fabreeze…

Feel free to come up with a few of your own to help others laugh…I might even add a few of my own.

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Too Darn Cute / What’s your Caption?

I saw this picture and couldn’t help but laugh. This kitten and puppy is classic.

Think of all the captions we could come up with…..

     That’s my puppy not yours!

Come to mommy….

I wanted a barbie and mommy got me this furry thing…


Whew, these dog farts are as bad as they say they are….


What caption would you put?