NO! I do not want to look in your eye!

If you get something in your eye, NO! I will not look in your eye for you. Don’t even ask. I don’t care how much I like you, how much I love you, or if you are my mother. Find someone else. Period.

Just Googling images of eyeballs has made me physically ill.

Did I mention I’m grossed out by eyeballs?

I’m not sure when it happened, but I have a theory. When I was younger my grandmother took us to see a movie called Rabid and during the movie someone’s eyes got gouged out and put in a jar. From that moment on, I don’t want to see an eyeball any closer than arms length and as long as they are in your sockets.

The problem is, when people find out I don’t like them, they are determined to gross me out by showing me their stupid eye tricks. So here is a list of things I don’t want to “see”….

  • DO NOT ask me to look in your eye for an eyelash – I will lie and say I see nothing which really is true because if my eyes are shut when I look, I really did see nothing
  • DO NOT flip your eye lids up – I will guarantee you I will cuss you out like a sailor on shore leave
  • DO NOT pop your eyes out of your sockets – You are a freak of nature and I am pretty sure I will vomit all over you.
  • DO NOT try and trick me either – I will kick your ass (and yes I did swear) and I do mean it.   😀

When I was a senior in high school I took anatomy. I could skin the cat, play with it’s dead carcass for weeks – yet when we watched the video on the eyeball, the moment a giant eyeball popped on screen, I claimed i had to go to the bathroom and didn’t return till the end of class when I knew the video was definitely over.

Once one of my nephews discovered this, he thought he was so freaking funny when he flipped his eyelids up. I wanted to slug him (don’t worry, I never did so no need to call child protective services – although one day you might – just kidding, calm down)

Well, now it is out. I have confessed the one thing that really makes me violent.

I’m grossed out by many things (blood for example) but nothing makes me as violent as someone thinking they are funny with the eyeball stuff. If it wasn’t that movie that damaged my psyche those many years ago, then I’m pretty sure I had a bad experience in a former life that still haunts me. It’s a strange reaction from someone who rarely gets bothered by anything. I let 99.99% of stuff roll off my back like a duck. So it is odd the reaction these essential parts of our anatomy give me.

So, please keep your eyes behind your eyelids and find someone else to help you with that eyelash you got stuck. Cuz it sure will not be me helping you out.   😀

Is there anything that does this to you?


~~~till we laugh again~~~