Sunday Funnies ~ Edition 19

 

Sunday Funnies!!

Yep, that time of the week where I share some of the funny things I found on Facebook or Google

Enjoy!

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Yep, been that kind of a week.  LOL

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Please don’t go anywhere, I’ll squeeze you in shortly

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You were robbed!

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It’s faster if you open it first

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Sorry, this one just cracked me up!

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I love these trucks..so creative

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Another one that had me rolling!

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And some of you are way more experienced than I

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This explains what happened!

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This is he #1 reason I never get to take a nap!

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Don’t worry, we already know who you are

🙂

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You are in luck, the Moran bus is about to take off

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Have a great Sunday Everyone!!!

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

Related articles

 

Sunday Funnies ~ Edition 16

Sunday Time! Yep, that time of the week I share the funny things I found via Google or Facebook

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I’m pretty sure my mom & Cindy T would agree with this one! 

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And each day getting stronger!  😀

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I sneeze a lot. I’m sure those around me always think this. I notice how much more sarcastic the 3rd bless you sounds.  LOL

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Even more fun is to point at them and laugh

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I want this sign for my office

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This alone will have the guys clicking the “like” button

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Nahhh, not at all

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It’s wrong, but this one made me laugh

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I hate when a snail knocks me over

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And it stung too!

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Chickens are 100% behind us laughing each day

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Cracks me up!

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And PROUD of IT!!

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Have an awesome Sunday everyone!!

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

Related articles

I Wonder if Sarcasm Can Be a Full Time Job

As you know, I’m looking to discover what I should be when I grow up.

They always say you should look at what you are most talented at or what you love to do. As I have built my list one item stands out that I’m wondering how can I make money from it. I love the sarcastic thoughts that come into my head.

There was a time when most of them came out my mouth, but life has taught me to keep them inside. Sometimes I’m cracking up and people don’t realize it’s from the thoughts dying to sneak out my mouth.

I can’t tell you how many times someone is telling about a conversation that just begged for a witty comeback and when I ask what they said in response, they just shrug and say “nothing”. OMG! You are killing me! These fools  just set you up and you didn’t take the no brainer comeback??

Or I’ll say, did you say… XXX and they will go “No, I didn’t think of that.”

So maybe I can make money with the Sarcastic Hotline.

 

Right when someone needs that good comeback, they tell the person “one sec” then they give us a quick call and my team and I can offer them great sarcastic responses for $3.99 a minute.

Hmm, this might have potential.

 

I might have to think this through. Surely with all the stupid things that get said, this can be a full-time gig. I can make tons of money!

To all my sarcastic brothers and sisters out there. Let’s think of how we can put this extreme talent we have to good use. After all, shouldn’t we use our special powers for good vs for evil?

Oh, and to those that think I’m serious…..Thus lies our problem……

<<<insert sarcastic comment here>>>

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

 

The Pope Kept Staring at Us!

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Isn’t this a little creepy?

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You have probably noticed that I do not speak of religion or politics. Why start an unnecessary fight on a humor page?  (unless I’m just picking on you)

But last night, the Pope invaded my meal. And to be honest, it was a little odd.

Have you ever been to a Buca di Peppo’s? It’s a family style restaurant that has all kinds of odd stuff going on. It’s pretty neat in an odd kind of way.

We were there for a business meeting and requested a private room. They put us in a semi private area called the “Pope” Room.

The Pope was all over the walls in this little room. But the freakiest part was a giant bust of him on the middle of the lazy Susan used to the pass food around.  So no matter how many times you moved his face away, he just kept coming back to give you his creepy smile.

Each time a person would show up, we spun him to face them. Those that were late, had no idea why the rest of us kept giggling.

I’m not saying the Pope is a good or bad guy. But do you really need him staring at you while you eat? I vote no. But I can honestly say, I wouldn’t be a fan of anyone’s head on a platter staring at me while I ate.

Oh! And don’t even get me going on the naked women and kids (cherubs) on the walls. I almost took a picture of one in the bathrooms that really made me wonder what was wrong with these people. (I’m kicking myself for not doing it but I couldn’t decide if the humor I would give it would go over as I had it in my head, so best to “step away” from the picture and keep a moving).

So if you are ever wanting an old white guy to stare at you while you eat, head over to a Buca di Peppo’s and enjoy!

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PS. No Pope’s were hurt during the making of this post.

PSS. And if you are catholic, sorry for picking on your Pontiff, but he started it. 

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

Looky What The Queen of She-Hermits Let Me Borrow!

Look what one of my favorite Bloggers, Dotty Headbanger. is letting me borrow!!!

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Yep, her prized Rubber Duckies!!

She Lubs Me!

Here is what she said…

Dear Brick, (she calls me brick – long story)

Because I love you very, very much, my Chief of my Collected Americans who brings me ice cream every day, I’ll let you borrow my pet ducks if you want to (I don’t know how to put pictures in a post). They’re called Mucky Ducky & Fucky Ducky and they live on my sidebar. :-)  

She so funny! 

I just hope I don’t hurt them in any way. Those two ducks look like they might be a little wild. I may have to get them a private room. Keep them away from the rubber duckies.  Then again, I wonder how fast rubber duckies breed? I might have a huge collection before I know it. Hmmm

So in Honor of my Favorite She-Hermit, I’m going to name one of my Rubber Duckies after her. Yep, my Queen Ducky will for now on be known as my Little Headbanger!

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LITTLE HEADBANGER

Little Headbanger

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Don’t forget to visit her at … http://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/ .

thanks again My Favorite She-Hermit!

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

Sunday Funnies ~ Edition 7

Welcome to another edition of Sunday Funnies!

Where I share things I found via Google or Facebook last week that made me laugh

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This was my favorite for the week

I’m still laughing

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Since today is Father’s Day, I’ve found some Dad ones

Yep, whatever makes dad happy today

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Busted!!!

(pun intended)

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The sad part is, someone thought they would plant this seed in their kid’s head

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(so many bad jokes here I have to be a good girl – so I’ll be mooooving on)

Not the family reunion Betsy was hoping for

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The fact this kid is still alive tells us this is one cool dad

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Wow, I wonder how many dad’s dream of this when their kid is screaming or sneaking in the house at 4am? or the dad in the picture above?

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Now I know a few of you dads have kids that would so wear this 

(Mollie, cough cough)

(inside joke)

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Well, off to sell some cakes

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

Spelling Is SOOOO Overrated!

Ok, I’ve been one of the lucky ones. I have yet to be attacked by any of the Vocabulary/Spelling Police.

I’m not saying I never will (knock on wood) but maybe I’m just lucking out due to being so darn funny!

(I barely could say that with a straight face!) 

I’m not saying I’m really bad, but I do mess up. I have lots of excuses, I mean reasons.

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  • I could blame it on genetics…. that whole apple not falling far from the tree stuff
    • But that would be an easy cop-out and unfair
    • Besides, one of my sisters has already taken that one

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  • I could blame it on spell check…. God only knows how much I LOVE my red squiggly line! They are so pretty
    • But being that I’m 46, the spell checker can only account for my bad spelling the past 15 – 20 years if I’m lucky
    • But I will say, it sure hasn’t helped it any!

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  • I could blame it on the dictionary…how many times have we heard this…“Look it up in the dictionary!”
    • I’m still trying to find phone under the “F”s
    • And Psycho under the “S”s
    • I’m just saying……

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  • I could blame it on how lazy we are as a country
    • I’m pretty sure having 26 letters in the alphabet allows for a gazillion (just saw a red squiggly by the way) …a gazillion combination of letters to create new words
    • Is there a reason we have so many words that sound the same but are spelled differently?
      • Do we really need – there, their, and they’re?
        • Even when offering sympathy we can’t really go, there, their, they’re….

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  • I could blame it on my Honor’s Classes
    • Yes, I’ll admit it. I was an Honor’s student my whole 18 years.
      • GATE, MGM, HONOR’s, whatever the name was in each district or level, I had them
    • Or as I like to think of it, I was the stupidest smart kid in my class
      • Why? I really hate studying
    • In Honors they taught me how to read. Not spell. Sorry, it’s true.
      • Probably why I hate reading so much as well now that I think about it.

Yes, I could blame it on all of the items above. But the reality is, it probably is a combination of it all. Plus sprinkle in the fact that I am just not fascinated with words and language like some folks. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good Scrabble or Words for Friends game. But my reality is, I read so fast my mind knows what it is Suppose to be reading and not necessarily what was typed or hand written.

I bet most of you do too.

Read this….

Ok, by a show of hands…

How many of your read – A Bird in the Bush?

Now, how many of you read A Bird in the the Bush?

Some of you are still reading the same….I’ll wait for those folks to catch on…..

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OK, I’m out of time. My point is this….

Sorry I’m not a great speller, but let’s face it, in some cases (not all) spelling might be a little over rated.

Oh yea, and please Spelling Police…..Don’t attack me!  

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This is a humor blog……I was trying to be funny….

Plus I fixed all my read red squiggly lines!

LOL

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

So Many Proud Non~Normals

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I saw this yesterday and immediately thought of the folks in the Non~Normal & Proud of it Club.

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If I didn’t know any better one of us created it!

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LOL

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When I started this club, it was to celebrate each of our uniqueness. What is interesting is, I never realized how many people embraced this side of themselves.

I love how many of you encourage your kids to love how “strange” & “different” they can be. I really do think this is awesome. Our children need to realize that the reality is, there is no real normal. That it is ok to be different from your friends.

Lets face it…

Life would be so much better if everyone had learned this lesson early in life.

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Ok, you weird, deranged, freaky and psychotic folks…..I hope you liked the picture….
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~~~till we laugh again~~~

My Baby is Sick and Need Surgery…

My baby is sick and she’s not getting any better.  I feel so bad and frustrated that I can not kiss her and make things like they use to be.

I haven’t been able to play with her for a few days now. I’ve tried everything, but she just isn’t responding like normal.

I found out it is actually worse than I originally thought. Looks like traditional remedies will not work. I had to bring in a specialist today.

Turns out the specialist feels surgery is the only solution. Removing the infected organ is our only chance of survival.

I asked, “After the surgery, will she be as good as new?

He assures me she will.

We’ve scheduled it for tomorrow evening. Keep your fingers crossed. I’m sure everyone’s prayers and thoughts will help.

He promised the new hard drive should fix my computer from crashing and losing everything….

Whew, I was really worried that I was going to have to purchase a new laptop.

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

She Really Needed That Big Mac NOW!!

People crack me up. If I’m looking for laughs, I really don’t have to go far. Human nature gives me some of my best laughs each day.

Take today for example. Well, today’s example happens all the time and I just shake my head each time.

I thought I’d be nice and pick up one of those 20 piece nugget deals for the kid that is working right now for her and I to share. No biggie. So I head to the McDonald’s around the corner. Our McDonald’s is only a few years old, so it has that new dual drive thru they are putting in every where.

The trick to these dual drive thru’s is to almost always take the outside lane. The way they are built, actually allows for the two cars vs one since there is the extra gap to pull around. Thus allowing outside lane people to order faster.

Now, you don’t have to like this fact, but it is what it is and I take full advantage of this. But some folks are either upset by this injustice in the world, or they just want that damn Big Mac and can’t wait. Personally I think it is because they didn’t think of it first.

So even though you clearly ordered your food first, they feel it still should be a I go, you go scenario. Unfortunately, that isn’t how the inside works. The poor kid at the register has you in the order you ORDERED.

So these folks now get to the window, and if they aren’t paying attention, they pay for your food and then possibly pick up your food. I have had this happen several times. How lame can you be?

You just ordered 4 big macs, 3 fries and sodas…. did you really think your order was only $5.75???

The hard part for me is, driving the Pink Truck and it screaming my local business all over it, I have to be nice. Sure I shake my head, but yelling out “Are you really that stupid?! Would probably be bad for business. Don’t ya think?

So there I sit. Smiling. Laughing at how this woman felt the need to almost hit my truck to prevent me from getting ahead of her in the single file portion of our lane. Then smile at me as if she didn’t mean to do it. I just smile and nod back.

As long as there are people in the world, I will have plenty to laugh at each day.

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Watch Were You Spit!

I’m a pretty easy going person as I have mentioned before. Keep your pants up and I’m happy.

However, some kid today reminded me of one of the things that drives me up a wall.

If you feel the need to hock up a big loogie, do me a favorite and don’t spit it right in front of my store where my customers walk in.

While you are at it, how about you don’t spit it anywhere on the ground I walk on? Especially in the parking lot where I get out of my truck, step down then discover your bodily fluid you left behind for me.

And If I’m putting in requests, how about you don’t do it in front of me period? It is so gross. The sound you make is gross, the flying projectile is gross and the resulting pool of crud is gross. Did I mention how gross this is?

But then again, our sport figures do it all the time while on TV, why would our children (especially our boys) think this wasn’t ok?

david beckem spit

But come on,  G R O S S… Maybe it’s just me.

 

Sorry, not so sure how funny this post is, so here are a couple of spit jokes just in case…

#1 ~~ Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest Stamps?

They had pictures of lawyers on them and people couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.

 

#2 ~~ A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can.

He doesn’t want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, “I spat in this beer, do not drink!”.

After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, “So did I!”

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

The ABCs of Me ~~ Or More Than You Wanted to Know

Each night as I try to wind down from my day, I start surfing the blogs I follow. And now that I found the little link that WordPress has, I find it so much easier than getting 50 million emails. Yes, 50 million! No exaggeration. I have “liked” way too many of you! But I’m stubborn and plan to find more to add. I’ll just give up having a life and spend 24/7 reading what you all write. And this silly link has made it that much easier for me to do this.

But I digress once more.

Sharon over at showard76 was playing this game with other bloggers that had several questions based off the alphabet. I thought what a fun idea.

I jumped up and down screaming “I want to play! I want to play!” Then I decided to hijack the game and play. Feel free to steal, I mean borrow it as well.

Now, what kind of game would it be if I didn’t put my own Tammy the Sarcastic Wit on it? I wouldn’t want to disappoint any of you.

So away we go…..

A is for age: A) None of your business. How’s that for an A?  LOL, just kidding. I’m 46 physically, emotionally & intellectually. However, there is still a 20-year-old wondering how we got here and when our body turned on us. Especially the knees. Then again, they never really liked us.

B is for breakfast today: Hmm, do I lie and say something healthy? Or do I admit I reheated my left over quesadilla? But it was gooooooood.

C is for currently craving: Coke. No not the drug silly. The nectar of the gods. Coca Cola. 😀

D is for dinner tonight: Haven’t thought that far out. My gosh, you just asked me about breakfast. I haven’t even thought of my second microwaved meal of the day yet!

E is for favorite type of exercise: Pushing other people’s buttons. Some of you have some great resistance!

F is for an irrational fear: Hands down my fear of moths / butterflies Read this: Butterflies are Evil!

G is for gross food: PEAS!!!!!!!!! OMG they suck!  Read this: Peas, My Mom’s Favorite Torture Tool

H is for hometown: Tough one for me. I moved so much as a kid. Best I can give you is I’m a Southern California Girl – Orange County – And definitely not the OC type. Think way other side of those TV show tracks.  LOL

I is for something important: Laughter. Did you think I was going to say family like everyone else?

Hell, trust me; we all need laughter to deal with our families. 

J is for current favorite jam: Music Jam or Toast Jam? Hmm, which way do I go with this one?  I could sing Peanut Butter Jelly Time and kill both but….. Grape Jelly is my answer.

K is for kids: Is that a question? No kids. I like sending them home too much. Hard to do if they lived with you. But I do have 2 furry kids. Both 14 – Bingo & Tia.

L is for current location: Orient Express. Oh wait, Location not Locomotion. My office at work.

M is for the most recent way you spent money: Same way I spend 99% of my money. Bills, Bills, Bills and not the Destiny’s Child song either. The cool answer would be something like on the Chippendale’s Dancer or buying a new teak panel for the Yacht. But alas, just bills.

N is for something you need: Money! Didn’t you see the 99% that goes to bills? Ok, forget that answer. I need sleep! I want one good 12 hour no wakey even to go potty type of sleep. There you go, how about if I dream of money?

O is for occupation: Ice Cream Lady!!! Haven’t you read any of the Pink Truck stories?

P is for pet peeve: While I’m not fond of butt crack or pants down as you saw in my previous posts, my true pet peeve is lying. Yep, hate when people lie to me especially over stupid things. If you will lie about the small things, odd are you will lie about the big things. I hate liars.  🙁

Q is for a quote: Shakespeare? Movies? Some of these “”””” oh I know. My favorite quote. Duhhh.   Ok, here is one I love…  “Just because you know something, doesn’t mean you understand it”    It so fits people who think they know it all yet understand nothing. 

R is for random fact about you: Umm, isn’t pretty much everything above? Just saying. Hell, I’ll even toss a few more in down below.

S is for favorite healthy snack: Healthy?  LOLLLLLL Surely you jest.

T is for favorite treat: My dogs would say Pup-eroni’s. Me? I don’t like them that much.

U is for something that makes you unique: Everything. No one like me. Some would shout THANK GOD!  I’d say my ability to laugh in bad situations. (hence my blog title)

V is for favorite vegetable: You already know it sure the hell aint peas! (And don’t tell me aint aint a word cuz aint aint in the dictionary ~~ It’s my blog and I’ll use it if I want to) The answer is…I hate veggies. But if I must say…I like cucumbers. And pickles. Are pickles still a veggie after they pickle? Hmmmm

W is for today’s workout: This long ass blog answer. I’m sweating over here!

X is for X-rays you’ve had: Probably everything at one point. I’m surprised I don’t light up the night. I’m old remember A?

Y is for yesterday’s highlight: Surviving. I’m hoping to do the same today.   😀

 Z is for your time zone: Depends on the time of year. Arizona is funny that way. Technically Mountain Standard year round, yet it really is Pacific Standard through the summer. Arizona is so odd.

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Did you make it all the way to Z with me? WAKE UPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

You know you laughed at least 17 out of 26 times. And that is 17 more laughs than you had prior to starting.

Let’s all have some fun and do this. Most of you are always looking for something to blog about. So here you go.

So, let’s all participate on the Alphabet Survey by blogging about your answers. (I’m not sure if you are to use the same questions, but hey, it’s your post. Use these or create your own)

Let me know once you’ve done it and I’ll definitely come visit. I even promise to read all 26 answers. Yep, pinky swear!

Thanks for having fun with me!  (or, I hope you had fun – sure would hate to lose any followers ~~ then I’d really get no sleep)

~~~till we laugh again~~~

33% of This Year Together

In December 2011 I had a wild and crazy idea.

I would attempt to find humor in life and share that humor every day in 2012. As of today, the year is 33% over. And for the record, it is so unfair that as we get older time just flies by.

I remember when starting a Post a Day in 2012, that I thought there was no way on earth I could think of something funny everyday. I just kept telling myself that I laugh at all kinds of things and since I insist on living my life that way, everything would work out.

Back then I had maybe 20-25 followers and of course my Facebook victims I mean friends and family. Who would want to read this silly blog?

Don’t get me wrong, I always wanted people to read it. Why waste all these good laughs on the few when I could help make people all over the world find at least one laugh in their day.

During our short time, I’ve shared things about myself and things that have happened to me. I’ve also shared things that make me smile or laugh. Sometimes, those things were probably very stupid to some. But to me, they made me giggle. After all, I tend to giggle at stupid things.

 

As time has gone on, I find that I worry too much if my readers will find something funny or not. We are funny creatures us humans. We want that approval. And as an over achiever, I need to “feel” that I’ve accomplished my mission. That I have succeeded in making you smile or laugh. I find I worry that something will bomb or readers will think it is stupid. Basically, I think too much and sometimes forget my main mission.

As I head into the next 33% of our days together, I’m going to try to focus on what makes me smile or laugh. Sometimes that might not be funny to you. And I have to learn not to stress over that. All that matters is it made me laugh or smile. It might be silly pictures, some trivia, a story about myself, society in general, who knows. But for some reason it struck me as funny. It’s me, Laughing at Everyday Life. I find humor every where.

We are all funny in our own way. Some bloggers are natural story tellers and I’m fascinated at how they can take a day in their life and make it so freaking funny. Some of you share your pain with the world and look to my blog as a possible escape from that pain. Some of you are just sick puppies that have loose screws. And some of you are just funny looking. But one thing I love about all of you, is that you are allowing me the opportunity to help you smile if even for a brief moment in your day.

Thank you to everyone who has viewed / read / trolled / hung out / sped by / accidentally tripped / was looking for butt crack (way too many) and found my little blog.

I hope you continue to hang out and laugh with me for the rest of the year. I’m curious to see how the next few months will play out and how much more I will learn, not only about myself, but about you. Not only have I enjoyed sharing my laughs, but I have loved what I have learned about all of you. It is never easy sharing our lives with others, but if we can help others by sharing our ideas, thoughts, lives, laughter, etc then it is worth it.

If I make just one person smile or laugh, especially when they are in pain or need of a distraction, then my blog obsession in 2012 will be worth it.

I am who I am. A natural ham. Said Sam I am.  (umm, how did that sneak in there?)

Anyways, I’m done with my semi serious post. I’ve had a blast the first 1/3 of the year and I look forward to more laughs together in 2012 and beyond!

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~