We all like a quickie. Sometimes a quickie is just what you need. You know you like a quickie too…
A quick laugh that is. What else did you think I meant?
I’m not addicted to my Twitter account but I do like looking at it for some quick inspirations quotes or quick laughs once a day. There are some folks who dedicate themselves to posting various sayings. Some new, some old, some stupid and some unique. So I thought I’d share a few that I saw just doing a quick scroll. It was pretty popular when I did this last time so I thought I’d do it again. Hope a couple give you a chuckle…
- I miss the days when you could just push someone into a pool without worrying about their cell phone.
- You never realize what you have till it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example!
- When you’re stressed, You eat Ice cream, Cake, Chocolate & Sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS. Mind = Blown?
- Lazy Rule 1: If you drop an ice cube just kick it under the refrigerator.
- “Your phone`s ringing…” “Yeah, phones do that…”
- We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.
- I wanna write “I miss you” on a rock and throw it at your face so you know how much it hurts to miss you.
- Wife: “Why are you home so early?” Husband: “My boss told me to go to hell.”
- You always remember your first crush. Mine was Orange. (get it?)
- Blanket on = too hot. Blanket off = too cold. One leg out = Perfect (so true)
- Everyone hates Thursday…Cuz it not Friday
- Mission Impossible: Not eating a French Fry on the way home from the drive thru.
- Why are children obese? Probably because burgers are $.99 and salads are $4.99.
- Son: “I almost went to jail today! I was so scared!” Mom: “Oh my god! WHAT DID YOU DO!?” Son: “Those monopoly games get pretty intense.”
- Don’t tell me I’m wrong if u cant explain why u right
- Do you like me? Breathe for yes, lick your elbow for no
- Weekends are like an orgasm: It’s takes a lot to get there and when u finally do, it’s over in no time.
Ok, had to let that last one slip in, it was funny.
Hope you all had a great weekend!
~~till you laugh again~~
I’m not sure how many of you have ever looked at Twitter or have a Twitter account. But if you don’t, you are missing some cute little tid bits. Things that will make you smile or laugh. It’s not just about what celebrities will say. There are quite a few folks out there just sending random thoughts or things that make you go hummm.
I thought for today’s smile / laugh or even inspiration, I’d pull up a few of these 140 characters or less tidbits to share. Some are funny, some will make you smile and some will remind you to do either.
So in no particular order, these few stood out to me from the past couple of hours
- Some times one of the hardest things to do is controlling your laughter at serious moments (I so struggle with this one – LOL)
- They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck
- Yes, I sing in my car. Yes, I see you staring at me. No, I do not care.
- My mom thinks my friends are bad influences. but honestly, I’m usually the one coming up with the ideas.
- It’s really awkward and embarrassing when you accidentally spit on the person you are talking
- No one will manufacture a lock without a key. Similarly, God won’t give you problems without solutions.
- That awkward moment when you’re trying to end a conversation and the other person won’t stop talking.
- When someone says Never-mind – it really means — You were too stupid to understand the first time, so I give up trying to explain it.
- Best friends: They know how stupid you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.
- The awkward moment when you think someones waving at you but theyre not so you run your fingers through your hair & pretend nothing happened
- Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today
- The awkward moment when you tell people a funny story and no one laughs so you cover yourself up by saying, “you had to be there”.
- I’m not an alcoholic ..alcoholics go to meetings. I’m a drunk, we go to parties!
- I’m never sure what to do with my eyes when I’m at the dentist. Do I close them? Do I stare at his face? Do I look at the ceiling?
- We all have three lives: public, private, and secret.
- No matter how old you are, when a little kid gives you a Toy Phone and says its for you, You answer it
- Just because I’m not talking, doesn’t mean I’m in a bad mood. Sometimes I just like being quiet.
- Dear Family: Thanks for putting an empty box of cereal back in the cabinet. Now I can have a bowl of disappointment for breakfast.
- I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
- Hippos kill more humans annually than lions, crocodiles or snakes.
- One thing I learn about life: It’s not something to survive. It’s something to live
- Tears are not a sign of weakness, but proof that you are human and that you care
Hope you liked some of them. Like I said, you don’t have to really talk to people or engage, but sometimes they are just good for small laughs or inspiration throughout the day. I even added this to Twitter @Laugh365Days
~~~till we laugh agian~~~