I Wonder if Sarcasm Can Be a Full Time Job

As you know, I’m looking to discover what I should be when I grow up.

They always say you should look at what you are most talented at or what you love to do. As I have built my list one item stands out that I’m wondering how can I make money from it. I love the sarcastic thoughts that come into my head.

There was a time when most of them came out my mouth, but life has taught me to keep them inside. Sometimes I’m cracking up and people don’t realize it’s from the thoughts dying to sneak out my mouth.

I can’t tell you how many times someone is telling about a conversation that just begged for a witty comeback and when I ask what they said in response, they just shrug and say “nothing”. OMG! You are killing me! These fools  just set you up and you didn’t take the no brainer comeback??

Or I’ll say, did you say… XXX and they will go “No, I didn’t think of that.”

So maybe I can make money with the Sarcastic Hotline.


Right when someone needs that good comeback, they tell the person “one sec” then they give us a quick call and my team and I can offer them great sarcastic responses for $3.99 a minute.

Hmm, this might have potential.


I might have to think this through. Surely with all the stupid things that get said, this can be a full-time gig. I can make tons of money!

To all my sarcastic brothers and sisters out there. Let’s think of how we can put this extreme talent we have to good use. After all, shouldn’t we use our special powers for good vs for evil?

Oh, and to those that think I’m serious…..Thus lies our problem……

<<<insert sarcastic comment here>>>


~~~till we laugh again~~~



The ABCs of Me ~~ Or More Than You Wanted to Know

Each night as I try to wind down from my day, I start surfing the blogs I follow. And now that I found the little link that WordPress has, I find it so much easier than getting 50 million emails. Yes, 50 million! No exaggeration. I have “liked” way too many of you! But I’m stubborn and plan to find more to add. I’ll just give up having a life and spend 24/7 reading what you all write. And this silly link has made it that much easier for me to do this.

But I digress once more.

Sharon over at showard76 was playing this game with other bloggers that had several questions based off the alphabet. I thought what a fun idea.

I jumped up and down screaming “I want to play! I want to play!” Then I decided to hijack the game and play. Feel free to steal, I mean borrow it as well.

Now, what kind of game would it be if I didn’t put my own Tammy the Sarcastic Wit on it? I wouldn’t want to disappoint any of you.

So away we go…..

A is for age: A) None of your business. How’s that for an A?  LOL, just kidding. I’m 46 physically, emotionally & intellectually. However, there is still a 20-year-old wondering how we got here and when our body turned on us. Especially the knees. Then again, they never really liked us.

B is for breakfast today: Hmm, do I lie and say something healthy? Or do I admit I reheated my left over quesadilla? But it was gooooooood.

C is for currently craving: Coke. No not the drug silly. The nectar of the gods. Coca Cola. 😀

D is for dinner tonight: Haven’t thought that far out. My gosh, you just asked me about breakfast. I haven’t even thought of my second microwaved meal of the day yet!

E is for favorite type of exercise: Pushing other people’s buttons. Some of you have some great resistance!

F is for an irrational fear: Hands down my fear of moths / butterflies Read this: Butterflies are Evil!

G is for gross food: PEAS!!!!!!!!! OMG they suck!  Read this: Peas, My Mom’s Favorite Torture Tool

H is for hometown: Tough one for me. I moved so much as a kid. Best I can give you is I’m a Southern California Girl – Orange County – And definitely not the OC type. Think way other side of those TV show tracks.  LOL

I is for something important: Laughter. Did you think I was going to say family like everyone else?

Hell, trust me; we all need laughter to deal with our families. 

J is for current favorite jam: Music Jam or Toast Jam? Hmm, which way do I go with this one?  I could sing Peanut Butter Jelly Time and kill both but….. Grape Jelly is my answer.

K is for kids: Is that a question? No kids. I like sending them home too much. Hard to do if they lived with you. But I do have 2 furry kids. Both 14 – Bingo & Tia.

L is for current location: Orient Express. Oh wait, Location not Locomotion. My office at work.

M is for the most recent way you spent money: Same way I spend 99% of my money. Bills, Bills, Bills and not the Destiny’s Child song either. The cool answer would be something like on the Chippendale’s Dancer or buying a new teak panel for the Yacht. But alas, just bills.

N is for something you need: Money! Didn’t you see the 99% that goes to bills? Ok, forget that answer. I need sleep! I want one good 12 hour no wakey even to go potty type of sleep. There you go, how about if I dream of money?

O is for occupation: Ice Cream Lady!!! Haven’t you read any of the Pink Truck stories?

P is for pet peeve: While I’m not fond of butt crack or pants down as you saw in my previous posts, my true pet peeve is lying. Yep, hate when people lie to me especially over stupid things. If you will lie about the small things, odd are you will lie about the big things. I hate liars.  🙁

Q is for a quote: Shakespeare? Movies? Some of these “”””” oh I know. My favorite quote. Duhhh.   Ok, here is one I love…  “Just because you know something, doesn’t mean you understand it”    It so fits people who think they know it all yet understand nothing. 

R is for random fact about you: Umm, isn’t pretty much everything above? Just saying. Hell, I’ll even toss a few more in down below.

S is for favorite healthy snack: Healthy?  LOLLLLLL Surely you jest.

T is for favorite treat: My dogs would say Pup-eroni’s. Me? I don’t like them that much.

U is for something that makes you unique: Everything. No one like me. Some would shout THANK GOD!  I’d say my ability to laugh in bad situations. (hence my blog title)

V is for favorite vegetable: You already know it sure the hell aint peas! (And don’t tell me aint aint a word cuz aint aint in the dictionary ~~ It’s my blog and I’ll use it if I want to) The answer is…I hate veggies. But if I must say…I like cucumbers. And pickles. Are pickles still a veggie after they pickle? Hmmmm

W is for today’s workout: This long ass blog answer. I’m sweating over here!

X is for X-rays you’ve had: Probably everything at one point. I’m surprised I don’t light up the night. I’m old remember A?

Y is for yesterday’s highlight: Surviving. I’m hoping to do the same today.   😀

 Z is for your time zone: Depends on the time of year. Arizona is funny that way. Technically Mountain Standard year round, yet it really is Pacific Standard through the summer. Arizona is so odd.


Did you make it all the way to Z with me? WAKE UPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

You know you laughed at least 17 out of 26 times. And that is 17 more laughs than you had prior to starting.

Let’s all have some fun and do this. Most of you are always looking for something to blog about. So here you go.

So, let’s all participate on the Alphabet Survey by blogging about your answers. (I’m not sure if you are to use the same questions, but hey, it’s your post. Use these or create your own)

Let me know once you’ve done it and I’ll definitely come visit. I even promise to read all 26 answers. Yep, pinky swear!

Thanks for having fun with me!  (or, I hope you had fun – sure would hate to lose any followers ~~ then I’d really get no sleep)

~~~till we laugh again~~~

A Birthday Memory ~~ A 30 Year Gift

Last week when I busy doing my little series about the days of the week ~ my birthday came and went.

(Please hold down the applause that I survived another year and how excited you are that I get to make you laugh for another one)    😀

Birthdays have always been weird in my family. My sisters (one more than the other) are big into birthdays. Celebrating the day of your life. I on the other hand, appreciate the birthday, but since I’ve worked almost every single birthday, most of the time it is just another day. This year included. (for the record, my brother falls somewhere in between)

When I was young, we didn’t have much money. My mom was very young when she had me (she had just turned16) and had four of us by the time she was 21. So as you can imagine, money was tight. But my mom always did what she could to make us feel special on our birthdays.

As I got closer to my 16th birthday, I secretly wished for what every 16 year old lays in bed praying about. Yep, getting a car for my birthday. Now, logically I knew this was impossible. We simply had no money. But that reality doesn’t sink into a 16 year old’s head. The dream stays alive. The hope burns internal.

When my 16th birthday arrived I laid in bed praying that some miracle happened overnight. That some how my mom found a way.

SIDE NOTE: What’s interesting is, we all get this feeling, long after our youth. How many times has your mind & heart dreamt of the possibility even though the little voice inside was trying to tell you not to expect it? (the 1/2 billion dollar lottery couple weeks ago being a great example)

Back to my story….

That morning after saying those last little prayers, I began my new year of life.

Like taking off a band-aid, I might as well just rip it off….

There was no car sitting in our drive way with a big red bow on it.   🙁

Nope. Not even a little hot wheels one for a good laugh.

Now, before I tell you what I did get, let me explain something many of you don’t know. I’m a tomboy. Always have been. If I wasn’t doing my homework I was outside playing over the line (baseball for 3-5), tennis or something with my brother and our friends. My brother always got the better toys in my mind. It drove my mom nuts that I refused to put on a dress. No freaking way was that going to happen. The word “Girly” and Tammy just weren’t used in the same sentence in my house.

With  that said, what did I get? I got 3 things…a $50 check, a $50 bill & a green figuring with a girl in a dress (gasp) holding a cake with a 16 on top.

Now, when a tomboy wants a car for their 16th birthday, the last thing they are expecting is a girl in a green dress.

You can only imagine the amount of pouting I did that day. I wasn’t mad at my mom. I knew there was no way I was getting a car. But for a few weeks that dream was alive in my mind and it felt real.

As the days passed, my mom needed to borrow the $50 bill for food or bills or something, and I’m pretty sure I never cashed the check (knowing my mom could use the money more than I could). The little girl in green went on a shelf as a reminder that she wasn’t the car I really had wanted.

But what might shock and surprise you is… it has been 30 years since I received the Girl in Green. She has moved 16 times (ironic I know) & across four states with me. And she still sits on a shelf in my home office. Not a crack, a chip or anything. She no longer reminds me of the car I didn’t receive. Today she reminds me of how much my mother loves me and how much she loved me that day I turned 16. And I wouldn’t trade her for anything. (the figurine and my mom – LOL)

The Girl in Green

Besides, had I gotten the car, I’m not sure it would have fit on my shelf 30 years later.

We might not always get the presents we want, but we usually get the presents we are suppose to.

Just like my mom got me for her 16th birthday.  😀

~~till we laugh again~~~