Our T-Shirts Express Our Inner thoughts…

What would your shirt say?

I love those T-shirts with the funny sayings. A good one can crack me up for hours. When I go to Walmart I like to go to the area they have these shirts just to see the new ones. As you can probably guess, I really like the witty sarcastic ones the best.

Earlier, I was looking at one of those catalogs that fill up your mailbox at Christmas time and it was full of these shirts and even some cute boxer shorts.

So for today’s smile, I thought I’d share a few of the ones that made me laugh….

Boxers:

  • Big Duck – Butt Quack
  • Mouse & a slice of… – Who Cut the Cheese?
  • A squirrel with a bazooka – Protect your nuts!
  • Christmas Ornaments – Nice Balls

 

Shirts:

  • One of my favorites: You think I’m screwed up? You should meet the rest of my Family!  
  • Or the other version If you met my family you would understand!
  • I have CDO – It’s like OCD but the letters are in order like they should be
  • How to handle stress like a dog… If you can’t eat it, or play with it, then Pee on it and walk away!
  • Sometimes I laugh so hard the tears run down my leg
  • I’m a lefty so I really related to this one – Right Handers are annoying and so are their scissors! 
  • I’m so old I can laugh, cough, pee, sneeze, and fart at the same time!

Finally, here is one I know I will need in 20 years…

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the Hell happened!

 

Hope some of these made you laugh and if there was one you loved, feel free to share!

 

~~~ Till we laugh again~~~~

 

Too Darn Cute / What’s your Caption?

I saw this picture and couldn’t help but laugh. This kitten and puppy is classic.

Think of all the captions we could come up with…..

     That’s my puppy not yours!

Come to mommy….

I wanted a barbie and mommy got me this furry thing…

or

Whew, these dog farts are as bad as they say they are….

 

What caption would you put?

 

 

What’s Your Pet’s Ritual?

Sexy Tia Girl

Does your pet have a funny ritual? One that makes you laugh each and every time they do it? Mine does.

I have two dogs – Bingo and Tia. And I’m sure I will share things about them through this year, cuz they both make me laugh (not to mention the neighbors dog who thinks she is ours but  that is a story for another day).

Tia is a greyhound. She is the one pictured here. She does two things that just make me laugh my butt off. The first one is this, laying on her back, with her legs in the air like she is model for GQ Pups. She feels so sexy. (yes, she has told me so).

But even funnier than this is her ritual with her doggie pillows. This girl is spoiled. We have like 3 pillows on the ground. She rarely lets any other dog on them and they know they are her’s. She must give permission. But what is hilarious is the way she will literally fluff the pillows with her legs and move them into the perfect position. She sometimes will move all three on top of each other, or if she wants one, she will move the others out of her way. After several minutes of maneuvering them just right, she then will walk around and then plop down with her head atop her new creation.

I was going to add a short video clip but looks like I haven’t that capability quite yet. So you will just have to use your imagination. It is pretty funny.

Hmmm, I wonder if it would be sick to get her one of those pillow pets?? Part her own pet, part pillow…. I wonder if they have a greyhound one just so I could say it’s her kid or something….

So…. What is your pet’s funny ritual???

 

~~~~~Till we laugh again~~~~

Don’t Laugh at the Girl on the Orange Bike

Ok, so besides trying to make you laugh each day in 2012, I have another resolution. Or as I like to think of it…..Pain in the ass promise to myself….

My goal is to be more active in 2012. I could give a thousand reasons why, but let’s just say I need some fresh air in my life since I’m always indoors.

So, I decided that I would buy a bike and before I started work I’d try and ride around. Get some exercise in, breathe fresh air and take in the sites.

So here is where the funny comes in…

     A) My butt on a bright Orange bike – that alone is funny as hell if you saw it

     B) Breathing fresh air takes on a whole new meaning when you are sucking it in to survive

     C) Until I do this more, the sites consist of the 1/2 mile around my store

D) I haven’t ridden a bike in 7 years and yes, the seats are still as uncomfortable as they were then. What the heck, we can make a phone with processor of a sophisticated computer yet can’t make a bike seat that doesn’t hurt your behind..

But in the end, I’m sure I’ll get some good stories to tell. A few laughs for you and those I pedal by.

So if you happen to be in my town and see what looks like a huffing and puffing mass riding an Orange cruiser, try and not crash into the divider while you laugh your ass off. It’s just me trying to be a little healthier.

~~~~~Till we laugh again~~~~

Are you a klutz too?

Don't Trip!

Ok, time to reach out to my fellow klutzes.

First off, when I was a young whipper snapper as the older generation likes to say, I tended to walk on my toes. Maybe I knew deep down I was only going to be 5’4″ and wanted to be taller. Who knows. Today I don’t walk on my toes any longer (I think) – unless you count walking up stairs on my toes which I still do.

However, I still have a problem with my feet many years later.

I won’t go into the gruesome details of explaining my feet. While I’m sure there is some foot fetish person reading this, the rest of you don’t care. Now, don’t be thinking they are all that bad cuz they aren’t. Except the one toe I busted open and I have lost the toenail twice. But I digress.

No, the issue my feet have is staying on the ground. If I wasn’t walking in the air, I was tripping over a feather as my pops would say. Ok, I’m a klutz. (Hence why I broke that toe by the way). I can be walking for no reason and my feet just decide they aren’t going with me and so the rest of me does that slow motion decent into the trying to act cool while I’m flailing like an idiot. You know the one. Arms swinging to catch one’s balance as the rest of you flies forward rapidly. Or maybe you even trip and hop forward a few steps then try and act cool.

Once in a blue moon, I even need to use that duck and roll move I learned growing up to prevent forest fires. I mean catching on fire. Landing after tripping on one’s own feet is tough. But while you sit or lay there on the ground, you begin to laugh at yourself before others get a chance too. Afterall, you know you aren’t hurt (pride doesn’t count) and you know it must have looked pretty darn funny. You look back and don’t see a massive boulder in your path so your excuses start to dwindle down. So you just suck it up and laugh.

And if I had a dollar every time I bang my toes into things I’d be a millionaire ten times over. Getting out of the shower – check. Walking by the bed – check. End table – check. Corner – check. Dog laying on floor – check. Carpet only – check. It really is sad.

Think about it, I’m just talking about feet that don’t work. This doesn’t include the numerous bruises people ask me about that I have no idea how I got them. I bang into more walls and corners and doors. I don’t even flinch anymore. I just keep moving. I’m like the terminator. Cuts, no problem. You should see the collection of scars I have. Each with their own little klutzy story to tell.

The average klutz will just get hurt a lot. But it takes true professional klutz to admit they have a Klutz for Life Membership Card. Do you have one?

 

~~~~~~~~~till we laugh again~~~~~~~~

Resolution on the brink!

Just not in my face

Oh no! I have exactly 48 minutes as I type to get a laugh posted. Otherwise I will fail on my 366 day challenge on day 7. That wouldn’t be good.

But what to write? I had a busy day, I know I had to have had a laugh somewhere.

Maybe it was when one of my employees accidentally flung some ice cream right across me and barely missed. We both chuckeled. She then said, “What would really have been funny would have been if I hit you in the face.”

Hmmmm    Her: Funny       Me: Not so funny       You: Probably think funny

Ok, I never promised tons of laughs. But this one did make me laugh. Even more when I think of how funny she thought it was.  LOL

And if you are reading Rosa, if you ever “accidentally” hit me in the face with ice cream…. I’ll know you did it for a laugh!   😛

 

~~~~till we laugh again~~~~

 

Best Way to End a Fight? Laugh!

Ever been in the middle of a heated conversation or disagreement (maybe even a full blown fight) and someone does something so unexpected you bust up laughing?  And no matter how hard you try, you just can’t muster up that anger or frustration like you did a few minutes prior.

Oh you know you have. Maybe one of you tooted or someone split their pants. Or tripped over the dog or stubbed their toe. Or maybe something less sinister as flubbing the words in a way that just hit you as funny. One or both of you started to chuckle and you know it.

You see, I’m a firm believer in anger serves us no real purpose. When we are mad we really aren’t listening to the other person. We are in our flight or fight mode. When we are angry many times we end up hurting those we love. And if we are angry at a stranger, the only one who gets hurt is ourselves because we give our power to someone else to control our emotions. So why be angry?

When you find yourself caught up in one of these moments. Find away to break the tension. Laugh. Get the giggles. Sure it will first be irritating to the other person at first, but soon they will also be laughing cuz you will just look to funny. Laughter is contagious.

And once the anger steps out of the way, you two can resolve the situation.

See, laughter cures many things.

 

~~~~till we laugh again~~~~

 

Everyone Should Dress Up as a Character Sometime in their Life

For many years my mother worked at a bread store. I was lucky enough to go to work with her a few times and help out. One of these memories was dressing in a giant Snoopy Costume like you see here. I think it was a grand opening or something for a grocery store and all I had to do was wear the costume and roam around. I have three main memories from this.

  1. How hot it was in that darn thing.
  2. The massive neck ache I had from holding my head back against gravity. As you know, Snoopy has one large honker for a nose. And let me tell you, Snoopy is one pain in the neck.
  3. The massive amounts of love you feel when little kids come up and hug you (Snoopy).

Little kids thought I was really Snoopy. They were so happy and giddy. I really understood how the characters at Disney felt.

These memories were dusted off yesterday when I got to “pass along” the fun of looking silly. I borrowed an Ice Cream cone costume to wear on the corner with our sign to help the locals remember we are in town. I’m still amazed that in a tiny town, people still roam in saying they have lived there 2 years and just found us. Did I mention I’m also on the main shopping part of the town that is as long as a block?  Cracks me up.

Anyways, I  was showing the costume to one of my guys and after a few minutes I convinced him to dress up. I laughed my butt off for hours. Not because how he looked (although that was funny enough) but rather from the look on his face that he had to do it. And knowing, he secretly was liking it. One of the other kids put it on today. Same smile but not as much laughter since he willingly did it.

But I will tell you. Something about a silly costume brings out the silliness in all of us. We laugh when we look at others and we become silly in one. Personally I find it funny when I see folks out on the streets in costumes and you can tell how miserable they are. It is funny to see a miserable giant hot dog. LOL.

So next time you drive by someone in a costume have fun with them. Help them have fun. They may not love it, but you know they made you smile.

Peas! My Mother’s Favorite Torture Tool

Little Balls of Puke

I’m not a fan of green, especially in my food. Maybe I just associate green food with mold. Now, I do like cucumbers and lettuce. Maybe pickles and celery but one thing I absolutely can’t stand is PEAS!

My mother would eat peas everyday of her life if she could. And when I was a kid she would force those little balls of puke on me all the time.

What is my issue with them? Glad you asked. First off they smell. No stink. And once you crack them open the smell is even more overwhelming nausea.  Just the taste of them on my tongue makes me want to puke. Gagging starts almost immediately.

I do thank peas for one thing. If it weren’t for peas, I wouldn’t be able swallow pills. (not drug pills silly, aspirin – oh wait I guess technically that is a drug). I got so good I could eat my peas without ever breaking one on my tongue. Give me a glass of water and I can swallow them whole. But heaven help me when one would crack. Gag reflex engage.

My mom however never believed me. She just thought I was a typical kid not wanting to eat their vegetables. It wasn’t till years later when I was around peas and her and that gag reflex kicked in. She looked at me and said something like, “Oh my god, they really do make you sick!”.   Duhhhhhh

So please, if you invite me over for dinner, please do corn.

 

~~~Till we laugh again~~~

Little Green Balls of Puke

Uhhhh, shouldn’t we all???

Why Only Employees?

For some reason this sign hit me as funny today. I’m not sure why today of all days. Especially since I look at it multiple times a day at my store and most public places have it posted as well. Employees Must Wash Hands.  Why just employees?

Shouldn’t it really say – Hey you! Yes you who just wiped your butt – You MUST wash your hands.

We all have seen it. Person comes out the stall and walks right out the bathroom not even looking at the sink. They didn’t even have to think about it for even a split second. They did their business then off they went.

And guys? You are even worse, shake it off and run out. Just cuz you bounce a little doesn’t mean you are exempt.

Listen, I know it is an inconvenience to spend that extra 30 – 45 seconds washing your hands. Heck, if you don’t use soap you might even get it down to 15 seconds. But at least a little water will flush off (pun intended) some of the left over you have going on.

If you don’t want to wash your hands at home, I’m not going to give you grief. Afterall, it is your home, your castle, your hoarders house.

But when you are at a public place that serves food and I might just touch were you go next….help a girl out. I collect enough germs on my own, I don’t need your assistance collecting more.

I think I figured it out. It’s a conspiracy by the pharmaceutical companies. They know that if we wash our hands more, then less people will be sick and the less cold medicine we we will all take. Or worse, stock shares will plummet due to a decrease in sales of hand sanitizer. (speaking of which, I have some here, let me put some on)…..

Ok, I’m back. Dang that stuff stings when your hands are dry. I must be washing my hands too much lately. ….

~~~Till we laugh again~~~ Oh, don’t forget to LIKE the Facebook Fan Page for even more chuckles and to share your daily chuckles with others

366 Days of Laughter Begins!!

In the after math of last night… street sweepers clean the streets of old confetti or used fireworks, soccer moms clean up empty champagne bottles, dorm rooms are cluttered with beer pong cups and many hangovers begin 2012.

Today we begin a new year. Many folks pushing their New Year’s Resolutions off at least one more day….  “It’s Sunday, I might as well start on a Monday”     (raise your hand, you know the thought crossed your mind).

However, I shall stick to Day 1 of our daily laughs. Hopefully I’ve at least solicited a smile or a chuckle so far.

As promised, I plan on posting one laugh a day (usually more). Not jokes but slices of life that hopefully we all can relate to. At the end of the day, our lives are funny if we look closely. Some of you live your lives as I do, seeing the positive side of things. Refusing to let the crud of our lives dictate who we are. For some of you, life is full of drama that you feel you can not escape from. Hopefully by visiting each day I or my readers can help bring you at least one moment of escape.

For you the reader, I will need your help. Please share what makes you laugh or smile or moments that occurred that you feel others will enjoy. Either here or on the Facebook page I have set up. Let’s make sure 2012 is full of laughter. As you will see, even some of our darkest moments can make us laugh.

So as you say goodbye to 2011, think of the one thing that occurred last night that made made you smile or laugh. It might not have even been alcohol related. Maybe it was the sight of your son falling asleep with only 15 minutes left till midnight because he just couldn’t hang on one more minute. Maybe it was taking your young children onto the street to bang pots and pans to ring in the new year. Whatever that moment was, you smiled and for even a brief moment, you found laughter.

 

~~~ Till We Laugh Again~~~  PS. Don’t forget to follow on Facebook for even more smiles and laughs!   Fan Page: Laughing At Everyday Life

My Little Orphaned Rubber Ducky…I didn’t mean to do it…

OK, before I tell this story, I am not proud of what I did, and it is an accident that still haunts me to this day.

However, it also brought me one of the best laughs I ever had a few weeks later. Plus I became the proud parent of an Orphaned Rubber Ducky…

About 10 years ago I was out with a large group of co-workers for a “day of adventure”. We were playing golf up in Washington  where our Divisional headquarters were. This golf course had several ponds weaved in between the many holes. (some of you are all ready ahead of me on what happened – shhh, don’t spoil it for others).

At the time, I was still pretty new to playing golf but I had a great tee shot and normally can hit a ball pretty far down the fairway. We pull up to tee off around hole 9. Down the fairway was one of these ponds. I tee up my ball, eye my destination and take a pretty good whack at the little white ball of death. Unfortunately I must have sliced it off a little bit. In typical fashion the ball traveled very far but unfortunately curved right into the pond.

My foursome watched as the ball flew into the pond, skipped 2-3 times and then shot directly into the air sky high. We each then just looked at each other with a “what the…”

We then hopped into our carts to inspect the strange trajectory.

As we pull up we see what we think are little tiny web feet sticking out of the water flapping back and forth. OH NO!!! We immediately assess that the reason the ball flew in the air straight up was that it hit one of our little ducky friends that populated the pond.

At this point I’m sick to my stomach and I love animals, and even have a special fondness for ducks (I did a high school report on them too). Anyways, one of the guys I’m with, grabs a club and is trying from the edge of the pond to flip the duck back up right with his club. What was amazing about this was, this guy was like 6 foot tall, 300lbs easily and a rough around the edges kind of guy and too see him caring so much about this little furry friend was pretty cool.

As Eric continued to try and flip “ducky” we watched in horror as his little feet kept flapping until they slowly stopped one foot at a time. Our hearts sunk as we realized that he was “gone”.

If I wasn’t feeling bad enough, word spread quickly to the 30+ of us out there that I had “killed” a duck. Some of them felt bad with me, some thought it was funny, but most just wanted to tease me relentlessly about it. “Duck Killer” was just one of the new titles I was crowned.

Fast forward several weeks or months, I lost track of time……

My assistant at the time brought me a small box that had been delivered. I did the typically shaking of the box and looking at who it was from. It had no name on it other than mine and had a slight rattle.

And what was in the box? A small rubber ducky with a yellow post it note on it saying… “Have you seen my mommy?”

Like I’m sure you just did, I busted up laughing.

I still have this little orphaned duck. He sat on my desk with his note looking for his mommy for many years. He even traveled through three states I moved from. Today he resides in my home office. The note has since been lost, but his home with me has not. I provide him with good meals, lots of water, and the big metal goose I got from a Steven Covey seminar keeps watch over him when I am not home. He has not wanted for anything in the past 10+ years.

While the horror of the memory is still there even to this day, I can not help but smile and laugh over the whole thing. While I’m sure a co-worker(s) thought it would be funny as hell they actually helped me move on from the tragedy of the day. No one ever confessed who sent it, but a whole lot of them knew about it.

Every once in awhile someone brings it up. I tell a funny visual version of this story to my nephews and nieces using my arms as the victims legs. Sometimes we must find humor in the sad moments of our life. It is laughter afterall that keeps us going and helps us through things.

I love rubber duckies, and I love my orphaned rubber ducky most. And hopefully he and I gave you a a smile and a little laugh…

~~~ Till Laugh Again~~~  PS. Don’t forget to follow on Facebook for even more smiles and laughs!   Fan Page: Laughing At Everyday Life

What Is It About A Rubber Ducky?

So what is it about a Rubber Ducky that just makes me smile?

This is a giant Rubber Ducky that was in the parking lot next to my shop last summer. I loved to drive by and see him. He put a smile on my face the same way that the big giant gorilla that seems to be everywhere does for others.

But I love rubber duckies. I have one that sits on my printer at work with a crown on (why? I have no idea, I think some kid left it behind one time and it was cute). I have one that use to sit on my desk at work when I worked for Home Depot and no he resides in my office at home. But he is a special rubber ducky. And tomorrow, I will tell you a great story that goes along with him (yes, we will have a two parter – just like the Harry Potter or Twilight two parters only funnier since it is written by me for me)  😀

Back to Rubber Duckies….

I didn’t have a rubber ducky to play in the tub with, so I know my fascination isn’t about childhood memories. My mom would say it is cuz they are yellow and she thinks yellow hung the moon (sorry mom, but yellow only hung the sun).

But honestly, I just think it is cuz they are soooo darn cute and cuddly. And they make me smile. And afterall, it is all about what makes you smile deep inside that counts. And for me, it is Yellow Rubber Duckies.   I’m not afraid to admit it.  And if you were honest with yourself, I don’t think I’m alone!   (except my little sister who is deathly afraid of the color yellow – ROFL).

Tomorrow, I tell you the funny story of how an orphaned rubber ducky ended up in my care…..

~~~ Till Laugh Again~~~  PS. Don’t forget to follow on Facebook for even more smiles and laughs!   Fan Page: Laughing At Everyday Life