Letter to Mr Ride My Ass

Dear Mr. Ride My Ass,

Yes, I see you behind me. In your big semi truck. I notice the speed limit on this little road we are on says 55 miles an hour. I notice that I’m going 60 miles and hour and I also notice that you are getting closer and closer by the minute. I’m pretty impressed by your 70+ miles an hour in that big rig.

I’m pretty sure those teeth on your grill are meant to intimidate me as you fill up my rear view mirror. Grrrrr, I’ll eat you up you silly ice cream truck!”. I can hear it screaming now.

But you know what? I’m not afraid. If anything, I laugh at your over aggressive driving harassment. Ha Ha Ha!  All you make me want to do is slow down to make sure you can’t pass. I have the upper hand on this two lane highway. Sure you might be bigger than me, but I have the power right now. I know those teeth aren’t real.

So you just chill right back and settle in. It’s going to be a long 10 miles for you bub! You done messed with the wrong Pink Ice Cream Truck!

Sincerely,

The nice lady in the truck you are trying to eat.

PS. The Oreo Sundae on the side of the truck is fake. It is not real. So calm down.

`

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

Do You Have Ice Cream in that Pink Truck?

As some of you know, I own an ice cream store. A few years ago I put the shrink wrap advertising on my 11 year old Ford 150. So I went from complete anonymity in my fade in the background grey, to HOLY COW LOOK AT THAT PINK TRUCK WITH ICE CREAM ON IT! Yea, no hiding now.

Today, we had a meeting with the other franchisees and there were like 4 of us with the same wrap on our trucks. Trust me, these suckers stand out. Especially when traveling in packs. We started comparing comments that we get. I was laughing since it seems we all get the same ones. So for today I thought I’d share a few.

  • Pulling into any fast food drive through —- “Did you bring me any ice cream?”
    • Our thoughts – Hmm, I don’t recall you bringing me any Big Macs
    • Now for the record, I heard this 3 times today alone (drive thru, getting gas, stopping at a store)
    • True StoryI was at T-Mobile. I’m parked right in front of the store. I’m working on my upgrade and do I or don’t I. One of the employees asks me if I brought them ice cream. I said – “Did you bring me a phone?” he put his head down, says good point and sauntered away. LOL

 

  • Getting out of truck pretty much anywhere? —- “You got ice cream in that thing?”
    • Our thoughts – Yep, but it’s melted all over my back seat
    • True StoryI went to our local casino buffet. As I’m walking in, I’m stopped 3 different times and asked if I have ice cream in there that they can buy. I smile politely and point out that my store is right down the road on their way out of town. That unfortunately ice cream tends to melt in 115 degree weather.
  • Same Drive though windows – “Do they pay you to drive this truck?”
    • Our thoughts – Nope, we paid $2,000 to have the privilege of driving a bright butt pink truck
    • True StoryI wear a hat with my name badge and the word OWNER on it. I can’t tell you how often no one catches the fact that I own the truck and then they are shocked to learn that it is an 11 year old truck. Yep, PINK has a way of making it look new. (Too bad it still has the 11 year old dust inside)
  • Parked anywhere in town – “Daddy, Daddy, I want to eat this one!”
    • Ok, I’m just adding this one cuz it is soooo cute
    • True StoryLittle kids (under 5 usually) run up to the truck and try and take the ice cream off the sides. Yes, it is that life like. And yes, I did have one kid try and lick one. Hmm, I didn’t know it was scratch and sniff too!

Well, I think you get the point, each day is a new adventure of the funny things people say to us. Being the smart ass you have come to realize I am, the hardest part is not saying the first thing that pops in my mind (except that day at T-Mobile). But while it can get old, I do appreciate the attention it brings my store.

I just wish I could get my Taco Bell without being harassed if I brought a Sundae with me.

Hmm, maybe I should just start traveling with ice cream in my pockets.

 

~~till we laugh again~~