Hey… Have you Met Dum Dum?

We all need a Dum Dum in our life.

~~~

Two Dum Dums lock their keys in the car. One of the Dum Dums tries to break into the car while the other one watches.

Finally the first dum dum says “Darn, I can’t get in the car!” The other dum dum replies, “keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down”.

~~~

Q: How do you keep a Dum Dum busy for hours?
A: Write “Please turn over” on both sides of a piece of paper.

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Q: Why did the dum dum get fired from the M&M factory?
A: He was throwing all the W’s away.

~~~

Looks like our Dum Dum was having a tough year

January – Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February – Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels…..”duh”…..bottles won’t fit in typewriter!!!

March – Got excited…..finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months…..box said “2-4 years!”

April – Trapped on escalator for hours…..power went out!!!

May – Tried to make Kool-Aid…..8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets!!!

June – Tried to go water skiing…..couldn’t find a lake with a slope.

July – Lost breast stroke swimming competition…..learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August – Got locked out of car in rain storm…..car swamped, because top was down.

September – The capital of California is “C”…..isn’t it???

October – Hate M & M’s…..they are so hard to peel.

November – Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days…..instructions said 1 hour per pound and Dum Dum weighs 108!!!

December – Couldn’t call 911…..”duh”…..there’s no “eleven” button on the phone!!!

What a year!! Poor Dum Dum

~~~

A Dum Dum walked into a doctor’s office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked, “What happened to your ear?” The Dum Dum replied, “I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear.
Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, “Well, what happened to the other ear?”
“The sucker called again!”

~~~

Q. What is the fastest way to get a one-armed Dum Dum out of a tree?
A. Wave at him!

~~~

Ok, I’ll stop. I’m sure one of these made you laugh!

I personally liked the last one!

Have a great weekend and remember, if you don’t know a Dum Dum….

It might be you!

😀

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Sunday Funnies ~ Edition 12

Sunday Funnies Time!

Where each week I share some of the funny things I’ve come across on Facebook or Google

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Another Great Use for Our Ducky Friends

This just cracks me up

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Why is it someone you know popped in your head when you read this?

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This would be so awesome if it delivered too

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Guilty as charged!

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We all need to practice safe sex

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If he flushes, don’t be in the car behind him

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Imagine the look of surprise on your face when you open your eyes after the big note

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Love this one! Too cute

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This was my favorite of the week

but…

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This one wins!

Cracks me up!!

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Have a great Sunday Everyone!!!!

~

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Two New Duckies for the Collection

OK, I will not lie. I am doing a fluff post today.

But I’m excited about my two new additions to my ducky collection.

Ducky #1 was actually given to me by Buckwheatsrisk, when she saw him she knew I just had to have him.

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This is Squirt

Isn’t he cute?

He is a happy little fella!

~~~

My other new addition came from my nephews and sister.

He is a big boy. He is much bigger than the other duckies.

Then again, he isn’t a he. I’m pretty sure she is a she.

This is Dotty

Guess she could have been spotty, but she is dotty

Which now makes her the 3rd Dotty in my life.

My late grandmother went by Dotty

(I doubt she came back as a rubber ducky though, but you never know since she went to the beat of her own drummer)

Then I have Dotty Headbanger who lent me her two duckies

Note to self, I may need a page on here for the collection of duckies

(update- check up top – I added one!)

After all, I am sharing with you my adoring fans as I collect them. Seems only fair.

Well there you have it. My two new babies.

Feel free to send me any duckies you think will be good for the collection.

Only catch is, they have to help other’s smile or laugh.

~~~

~~~Till we laugh again~~~

Never Stop Laughing

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You don’t stop laughing because you grow old,

You grow old because you stop laughing

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This is so true.

When you lose your ability to laugh I feel a piece of you just starts to die. What keeps us alive is our ability to laugh.

It never fails, if I want to cry over something that has happened, I always find myself laughing. I’ve even gotten in trouble at times due to this.  However, I would never change it.

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I know I will be an 80-year-old woman who feels half her age due to my ability to laugh. I have met many, many people through this blog who live their life with the same theory. That no matter what garbage that has been thrown their way, they still find a way to laugh.

I wish at times I could help everyone find the humor in a moment. It is even more critical to find our laughter in our darkest moments. It is what helps us survive those times. The greatest feedback I receive is when folks let me know that my blog is part of their daily routine for a laugh. I feel privileged and honored.

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Let’s all commit to spend the rest of our time here on this earth laughing.

When you have those days where you can’t find your laughter from within, then quickly find your laughter through friends (real or cyber) or through any method you can (TV, movies, Facebook, people watching) – anything – just find it!

I promise, that laugh will help you get moving again.

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

11:45 PM, Do You Know Where Your Post Is?

Ok, I’ve had a crazy long day.

Just ran in the house getting back home. It’s 11:45 pm.

And what does my memory recall?

My Post a Day in 2012 is at risk yet again!

How can I screw it up?

No my loyal readers! I will not!!

So one quick smile for you!

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For my fellow Non~Normal and Proud of It! Club Members

You know it made you smile…Just admit it

😀

~

~~~till we laugh again~~~

The Old Man and His Red Wagon

Ever have one of those 24 hour periods where you just know the world has gone crazy? 

Maybe it’s me who has gone crazy and the rest of the world is sane.

I’m just projecting my internal cuckoo clock on others.

~

In the past 24 hours I’ve been running in to crazy, stupid and a combination of both. I know the moon has been full and the thunderstorms drive some mad. Throw in some heat and firework kabooms and you have a good mixture of nut job juice.

I don’t have time to write about them all, let’s just say there is quite a few. But I want to share at least this one.

 

The Old Man & the Red Wagon

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So a few months ago an older gentleman came into the store and asked if he could leave his vacuum with us until he could return and pick it up.

Yes, you just read that right.  As it is common for someone to be traveling down the road with a vacuum, then stop in an ice cream store to park it until he could find a ride. . Being the nice person I am and after realizing that he meant no harm, but seemed to be just be “out of it” a wee bit, I agreed. We placed it in the corner and as promised, her returned an hour later to pick it up.

Picture last night around 5pmish. We are busy since we are the only crazy ones open in town and they cancelled the town’s festivities due to the earlier rain. In walks our vacuum friend asking if he can leave some “boxes” for an hour or two until he could return. Only this time, his hand is bleeding as well. My employee calls me over to make this executive decision.

We step outside so I could “investigate” these boxes and determine if I should can help him. Turns out they aren’t boxes, but rather kitchen trash cans. Not one, but two.

He stated he was trying to take them home but he fell off his bike (hence why his hand was bleeding – by the way, he declined our offer of a band-aid). He just wanted to know if we would watch them until he found a ride or could return with his wagon.

Now, please realize these weren’t clean trash cans. No, they had dirty trash bags and stuff hiding under a pillow of some sort. I know there is no way I can have them inside my lobby and he even realizes this. I offer to let him keep them off to the side up front but he doesn’t feel comfortable and asks about the side of the building. But as he is doing this, he is announcing rather loudly (unintentionally) that he is worried someone will steal his valuables inside. At this point you can only imagine my imagination wondering what these “valuables” were.

But here lies my next problem. He is saying this loud enough for all these kids (some are local punks) outside to hear. And I just know the minute he walks off, the promise of riches inside these cans will take over and they will be jacked before he gets around the corner.

Being the nice person I am once again, and once again knowing how honest he seems to be, (and the fact that the deck is missing a card or two) I tell him to bring them around back and I’ll put them just inside my door until he returns.

These cans are extremely heavy. So now I’m really curious as to the “valuable” things inside. We place them inside and he begins to rummage through them as if he is taking a mental picture and creating an inventory list of the contents.

Under the old kid pillow were a bunch of books and bottles of old beer. Yep, his valuable haul was for a quiet evening drinking and reading. He must have noticed the look on my face (actually I’m holding back giggles) and starts to tell me someone gave them to him.  Yes, because people always give an older man on a bicycle two loaded kitchen trash cans of books and beer to ride home miles away. Happens all the time…..

I smile and say that was nice of them (can you say dumpster diving?) I let him know I will be there for a few more hours and just come to the front when he gets back. He then tells me how he will be lucky to find a ride since he is sure his neighbors are all drunk.  LOL.

I let him know that if he can’t get back in time, I’ll just place them out back for him. He reassured me he will be back shortly (Panicked I’m sure that I will help myself to the stash).

As promised, a little while later he returns with…. Yep, his red wagon.

I tell him I’ll meet him out back and when I open the door I notice his hands are behind his back. Red wagon at his side. Odd, but ok.

Then he asks…“There are three of you here right now right?” ….

Me..“Excuse me?”  as now I realize I might have a crazy man at my backdoor deciding if he has at least 3 bullets in his gun.  Or even a tougher question, can he take out three girls at his spry 78 years of youth.

He repeats the question and I say yes. He then pulls his hands from behind his back (me ready to trip him if needed) and with a big smile…he presents me with 3 melting Hershey’s Chocolate bars.

Stop laughing……

Ok, to make a long story short (Too late) I take the chocolate (I can’t be a rude hostess) and offer to help him with his precious cargo. He takes the first one, then pulls the pillow off to “show me” what he has (More like check off his inventory list to see if the ice cream lady snagged a beer or book or both).

He then proceeds to tell me how this neighbor was drunk and couldn’t drive him and the other neighbor had a few business calls to return (on the 4th of July at 7pm) and it might be awhile before he could take him. So my new friend went to his other neighbor to borrow the red wagon. And here he is now was as promised, dragging his wagon the 7 miles from where he lives.

This man is definitely entertaining.

I can hear them needing me upfront but I hate rushing my new friend but alas I must bring this fun to an end. I watch as he loads his treasure chests on his red radio flyer and heads off into the sunset.

I picture him curling up with one of the school textbooks (yes, that’s what the two I saw were) and the beer I had never have heard of before and settling in for night of fireworks and light reading.

This is 100% true and no embellishing was needed. This is just one of many strange things to happen to me in the past 24 hours. But I promise, none were as entertaining as my new friend with the red wagon.

I can only imagine what the next 24 hours might have in store. Life is full of moments that make us smile or laugh. (Even when we want to strangle the stupid people)

~~~till we laugh again~~

Sunday Funnies ~ Edition 9

Sunday Funnies Time!

When I share some of the fun stuff I came across in Google or Facebook this week. 

I think you can all relate

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Now he has lots of space!

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So darn cute I could puke

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And it’s a darn shame too

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Some go undetected – LOL

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So freaking true!

(this was my favorite of the week until I came across the next one)

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He had me at the Rubber Ducky & the Ice Cream!

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Have a great Sunday everyone!!

And don’t forget to laugh!

`

~~~till we laugh again~~~

He’s an Adventurous One

I debated what I was going to write today. I know I have been doing some cheap fun laughs this week. No major life issues trying to find some laughter in. Yes, there have been some life issues, but isn’t that called daily life?

Sometimes I think we just need silly stuff to make us laugh. To be that kid at heart that just finds laughs in stupid things. I’m good at finding laughter in stupid things. Just ask my family.  LOL.

I do have a few posts I’m going to do next week on some more serious stuff, but hell, why ruin a silly week by going all serious? So I will be silly today.

As you know, I’m collecting some new friends. Yesterday I said I would introduce you to him. I’m still deciding what to name him. But for now I’ll call him Duckie.

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Here is Duckie ~ He’s Hot!

Hot Pink that is.

Now, I discovered that Duckie is pretty adventurous.

On his first day home look at all the stuff he got himself into around the house.

He heard the dogs get treats when I get home, he couldn’t wait for his.


They were a little dry so then he needed some water.


He thought he’d hang out with the other birds

Then he got lost in time.


Silly duck doesn’t know popcorn isn’t good for him.


Hanging out with his new friends having a Coke


Whoops, looks like he found his way to the Pink Truck.

(Least he could do is wash the windows for me). 

Rut Ro..I think he is going to hitch a ride!

~

Somehow I think we haven’t seen the end of Duckie’s adventures

To be continued….

~

Have a great weekend everyone!

See you tomorrow for the Sunday Funnies!

`

~~till we laugh again~~

Caution…Extreme Heat Makes You Loopy

Ok, I think I have been in the heat too long today. Yes, I think the 116 degrees is making me a little wacky. I’m use to being cooped up in my store where it is at least 80. To make things worse, I was changing door locks in a house with no air. So inside must have been like 142 or something. You know the hot where sweat is dripping down you and you are getting stickier and stinkier by the minute.

Aren’t you glad I’m sharing this salty tasting moment with you?

When I finished, I was ready for a nap. But I’ve discovered in my life that napping while driving is a bad thing to do. Damn other drivers just don’t understand why you are weaving in their lane.

I even stopped at my favorite place in the world….QT (Quick Trip – the best gas station in the world) to get me a tea. OMG, it was good. Problem is, it went from cool to hot in a matter of minutes.

Needless to say, I have only an hour or so to do my daily post. So this is what you get. My sweaty, hot adventure for the day. Tomorrow, I have a new friend to introduce you too. And he is very adventurous. I think you will love him.

As for the locks? That was fun. I was teaching my niece how to change them. She was a quick learner. Yep, that means she made the same silly mistakes I did right after we learned not to put them in upside down. I’m telling you, it’s the heat. It makes you do stupid things even when you know better.

But I was proud of her. Always love having a new person to torture with knowledge.

I’m just rattling now. I’m still hot, brain is still fried and if left alone with the keyboard too long, I might just tell you every waking moment of my day.

Although I did have a great dinner with my family for my nephew’s 15th birthday which is tomorrow. Boy were we all stuffed. I’m pretty sure the Molton Cakes did us all in. So, see, I’m still rattling. I’ll just end with this….

 

Kyan!

Love ya

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Ok, tomorrow I’ll be funnier. My brain cells should be back to normal after some sleep and air conditioning.     😀

`

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Who Would Make Fun of an Elephant?

Duh!! I would!

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Ok,  I love elephants. Don’t worry, I’m not planning on starting a new collection!  Besides, they are way to big for the house.

But I did see a cute elephant joke today and thought I’d share a few to help you laugh for the day. So here we go……

~~~~~

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.

~~~

What time is it when an elephant sits in a chair?
Time to buy a new chair!

~~~

Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly?
Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin!

~~~

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Why do elephants have trunks?
They’d look pretty stupid with glove compartments.

~~~

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stomp out forest fires.

Why do elephants have large feet?
To stomp out flaming ducks!

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How do you hunt for elephants?
Hide in a bush and make a noise like a peanut.

~~~

Why doesn’t the elephant use the computer?
Because it is afraid of the mouse!

~~~

Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
So he wouldn’t get his tennis shoes wet.

~~~

What is the same size as an elephant, yet weighs nothing?
An elephant’s shadow!

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You got to admit, Elephants sure know how to party!

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

Sunday Funnies ~ Edition 8

Sunday Funnies Time!

Where I bring you pictures I came across on Facebook or Google through my weekly travels.

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You know who you are

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This curb was just so clever

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More amazing graffiti

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Last graffiti one.. some cool stuff people do

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Time to pick on the stupid people

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How fun would this be?

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This one just cracked me up

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Such a skerdy kat!

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Not sure why they call me ButtFace

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Guess he shouldn’t have been playing with them

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Ok, time for my favorite of the week

Don’t be drinking milk cuz it will hurt coming out

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Cracks me up!!!!!!!

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Have a great Sunday everyone!!

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

The Pope Kept Staring at Us!

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Isn’t this a little creepy?

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You have probably noticed that I do not speak of religion or politics. Why start an unnecessary fight on a humor page?  (unless I’m just picking on you)

But last night, the Pope invaded my meal. And to be honest, it was a little odd.

Have you ever been to a Buca di Peppo’s? It’s a family style restaurant that has all kinds of odd stuff going on. It’s pretty neat in an odd kind of way.

We were there for a business meeting and requested a private room. They put us in a semi private area called the “Pope” Room.

The Pope was all over the walls in this little room. But the freakiest part was a giant bust of him on the middle of the lazy Susan used to the pass food around.  So no matter how many times you moved his face away, he just kept coming back to give you his creepy smile.

Each time a person would show up, we spun him to face them. Those that were late, had no idea why the rest of us kept giggling.

I’m not saying the Pope is a good or bad guy. But do you really need him staring at you while you eat? I vote no. But I can honestly say, I wouldn’t be a fan of anyone’s head on a platter staring at me while I ate.

Oh! And don’t even get me going on the naked women and kids (cherubs) on the walls. I almost took a picture of one in the bathrooms that really made me wonder what was wrong with these people. (I’m kicking myself for not doing it but I couldn’t decide if the humor I would give it would go over as I had it in my head, so best to “step away” from the picture and keep a moving).

So if you are ever wanting an old white guy to stare at you while you eat, head over to a Buca di Peppo’s and enjoy!

`

PS. No Pope’s were hurt during the making of this post.

PSS. And if you are catholic, sorry for picking on your Pontiff, but he started it. 

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

Should I Start a Rubber Ducky Collection?

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Isn’t my new friend cool?

I love my new friend. 

I’ve written in the past about my love of Rubber Duckies.

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What is it about a rubber ducky?

Now I have like four rubber duckies. Hmm I wonder if this fascination started before or after that unfortunate incident…

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My Little Orphaned Rubber Ducky ~ I Didn’t Mean to Do it!

(seriously, if you want one of my best stories, you have to click above and read this, my all time favorite story of my life and totally true)

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After writing that, some didn’t believe me so I had to show the proof…

Proof of the Orphaned Rubber Ducky

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Hmm, I’m thinking the fascination definitely started when that first rubber ducky showed up in my life.

I’m thinking I might start collecting them. The more Non~Normal the better I think. Maybe even from around the world.  Hmmmm

Watcha think? Should I?  Even better, I could have them secretly show up on my door step like the other one..

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[polldaddy poll=6327651]

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I’m telling you, go read the middle one.. you will laugh your ass off at me.

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Yea, I definitely need to start collecting my some Non~Normal Rubber Ducks!

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~~~till we laugh again~~~