Some Quick Laughs to Brighten You Day

Wanna Laugh?  

Let’s See if Any of These Do the Trick!

Make Me Laugh If you are like me, you love to laugh. I love the quick and funny ones that are so silly you can’t help but laugh. 

Here are a few to help brighten you day….

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Q: What has holes but never spills water?

A: A Sponge

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Q: What does the grape say when smashed?

A: Nothing, just gives a little whine

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Q: “Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? 

A: She didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills.”

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Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long

A: Then it would be a foot!

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Q: How do you turn soup into gold?

A: Add twenty four carrots

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Q: What type of shoes are made from bananas?

A: Slippers

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Q: Did you hear the one about the roof?

A: I’m sure it was over your head

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Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked into court?

A: Odor in the court!

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Q: Why are math books always sad?

A: They have way too many problems

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Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?

A: Stick with me kid, and we will go places!

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Hope one or two make you laugh!

Feel free to share some of your favorite jokes! 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

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I Hate You State Farm

You Kept Me Up All Night Laughing!

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State Farm and Laughing?    Huh??  

Normally insurance companies might make you cry but laugh?  Never mind keeping me up all night chuckling.

Let me go on record right now saying

I LOVE STATE FARM COMMERCIALS!

They make me smile and feel good. Face it, they make you smile and feel good if you would admit it to yourself.

It started with the one commercial we all quote and love. I hope it never goes off the air.

    State Farm Jake“It’s Jake from State Farm”

Yep, she still sounds hideous, that Jake from State Farm… LOL  Gets me every time!

My new favorite that equally puts a smile on my face since it is played so dead straight and so witty is our extreme planner

State Farm Retiring Lady

“I’d Like to Put in my 15 Year Notice”
“You’re Totally Blind Siding Me”

LOLL  I have no idea why it tickles me. But I just get a big smile every time I see it.

(This is the one that had me laughing all night then got me thinking about making this post…

Now, there is the other hilarious with the fisherman… LOL

State Farm got a dollar

And who can forget about Jimmie?

State Farm 6 Callers Ahead

And yes, sometimes they just tug at our heart strings

State Farm Ill Never

(You know it gets you)

But yet. They all can’t be a hit. There is one commercial I actually hate when it comes on….

State Farm Elvis 1

Sorry Elvis (and Elvis, and Elvis, oh and Elvis)

You can’t win them all

State Farm Elvis 2

Just had to share this when I saw it…LOL

I have TIVO. I never watch commercials, but I will stop the TV just to watch the Jake and the Retirement ones. They make me laugh that much.

For the record, I have nothing to do with State Farm. However I have been with State Farm as a client since I got my first car 30 years ago. So one might say I like the company and LOVE the commercials    🙂

So….My Question is… Is There Any Commercial That Just Cracks You Up?

Texting Can Be Dangerous

There are many dangers that come with texting an important message..

Let’s take a look…

TextingA man received the following text from his neighbor...

“I am so sorry Bob. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess; I have been helping myself to your wife day and night when you’re not around. In fact, I have probably been getting more than you. I do not get it at home – but that’s  no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt, and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won’t, ever happen again.”

The man, anguished and betrayed, went directly into his bedroom, grabbed his gun and, without a word, shot his wife dead.

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Shortly afterwards he received the following text…

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“DAMN AUTOCORRECT!  Sorry, I meant WiFi not wife!”

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Have a great day! Don’t forget to smile!  OH…

An NO Texting and Driving!  

Little Johnny’s at it Again……

 

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Today’s smiles come from my mom. She sent me these cute Little Johnnie jokes….

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Little Johnny’s at it again…… A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’ After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.. The teacher said, ‘Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?’ ‘No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!’

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Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. ‘Why do you do that, mommy?’ he asked. ‘To make myself beautiful,’ said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Little Johnny. ‘Giving up?’

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The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, ‘Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?’ Little Johnny quickly replied, ‘NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!’

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Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. ‘Yes,’ said the policeman. ‘The detectives want very badly to capture him. Little Johnny asked, ” Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture ? ”
(this is my favorite)

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Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, ‘Dad, why are you doing that?’ His father replied, ‘Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, ‘Dad, I think the mailman wants to buy Mom ..’

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Remember, if you think you have a great idea or post to help other people laugh, shoot me an email. If picked, I’ll even give your blog a shout out! Some of you have been coming up with some great stuff. Just keep in mind, I need to be able to re-post the whole thing on mine (not just a re-blog, the funny gets lost in the translation) and I’m a PG13 blog so other than that….let’s make people laugh!

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

Sunday Funnies ~ Edition 18

Sunday Funnies Time!!

Everyone’s favorite post when I show some of the funny things I found on Facebook and Google this week

Hope you like them!

It all makes sense now!

You never know where inspiration comes from

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Being the Queen of Stick Figures, I LOVE this!

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My mom always hid her Nestle’s Quick

And we always knew where it was…LOL

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Damn! I hate when it doesn’t stick right!

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Go with the Blue, It matches your eyes

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Always one in the crowd

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Yep, it’s how I keep my sanity

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Hey, we all have to be remembered for something

LOL

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Yes, it takes all the fun out of it for me…Sigh

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Ain’t that the truth!  LOL

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I can hear it now..

“Hey, look someone’s walking Naked down the street!”

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This one is for my sister who thinks I’m Crazy

I’m just misunderstood! 

😀

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Have a great Sunday everyone!

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~~~till we laugh again ~~~

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View Previous Sunday Funnies by clicking —>> HERE

Are You A Carpet Tripper?

 

Are you a carpet tripper?

You know what I mean….

Where for no apparent reason your feet do some awkward landing and your shoe sticks to the carpet and you trip over your own feet.

I raise my hand high. 

When I worked for Home Depot for all those years, I spent most of my time on the concrete floors. I found some great comfortable shoes that had some nice thick rubber soles on them. (We all know how good it is to have comfortable, happy feet vs cute shoes).

Problem was, rubber and carpet are not friends. So when I was faced with walking on carpet, I was constantly tripping and falling forward as my feet decided to stop right there. Or I managed to not lift my foot up and the toes caught.

Then I would fall forward a few feet, catch myself, look around to see who saw me, and then act like it was no big deal.

Yep, I’m Tammy and I’m a Carpet Tripper. 

How about you?

 

Wanna Laugh? Eat Popsicles!

Nothing beats a good Popsicle…

Unless it’s a Popsicle with a joke on the stick!

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So we have been enjoying some Banana Popsicle and laughing at some of the lame jokes they put on the suckers.

You never know if you are going to get a dude or a hilarious one.

I’ll let you be the judge.

Here are the 1st Five Jokes…

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Here are the next four….

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Now, if you laughed at any of those, then make sure you aren’t drinking any soda on the last one.

It is by far the funniest of the bunch!

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Wait for it….

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OMG, I laughed so hard!

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So next time you are needing a good laugh, just head to the store and buy some Popsicles.

You get some yummy ice cream and a laugh to boot!

Oh!! How could I forget!  

When you are done eating those 4 Popsicles a night and notice you have about 100 Popsicle sticks on your table…

The best part is….

You get to make House!   😀

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

Sunday Funnies ~ 17th Edition

Sunday Funnies! Yep, where I share some of the funny stuff I found on Facebook or Google

Hope you Enjoy!

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Although, that would explain that bump on your head

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Yep, he’ll never be lonely

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Ok, let’s face it, we usually mean all of it

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I SOOOO do this!!  LOL

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Hmm, some of you have been gone a LONGGGG time  😀

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This was just too funny!

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Hell, some will do it in front of them.

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Too cute!

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Ca, ca, can, can’t catch my br, br, breath..

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Stop laughing!

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And some of you have

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LOL, I have a feeling some of your relate to this one

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Now for my personal favorite of the week!

Hope you got a few laughs!!

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Monday I’ll continue with the final installment of my fun week

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

Still Laughing in the Hospital…

So, yesterday I began my fun journey at the hospital with my sister —>> Is it ok to laugh at people in the emergency room?

When we last left, she was moved into her semi private room. Semi meaning not private at all. I suppose that little curtain is supposed to give the illusion that you are in a private space but the reality is, you can hear your roommate moan, talk, watch TV or talk to the hospital staff. But hey, this isn’t a hotel, so we all must stop whining about this.   😀

Now, I know you are wondering if she had a good roommate or not. Good being loosely defined. After all, a “good” roommate could be someone who never speaks and you forget they are there, or they are “good” because they provide you hours of entertainment during your stay. My sister’s roommate was one that didn’t stay  long, but did provide plenty to laugh at. Sort off. Because in the end, I think if we think about it too much, it was sad really. 

At first I was sad when I saw her roommate. An elderly woman who had lost her leg at some point and was using one of those pole artificial legs. While quiet at night, the next morning we saw a whole other side. Our new roommate was a talker. To anyone that would listen. She often held the nurses “hostage”. Turns out she was addicted to pain killers and had been through withdrawal several times. She was about to be sent home from the hospital and there was a round robin of folks coming in to speak to her.

The funny thing is, they never got to leave. Nurses, Doctors, Social Workers, the Chaplin, her husband, you name it. I could see them standing there while she explained that she didn’t feel she had a problem and on and on about her life. For 4 hours I don’t think any of them said a word. Well, unless Hmm, uh huh, and I understand count.

Once she finally left, the silence was deafening. The relief on the ears was amazing. One of the nurses came in and tried her hardest not to say how she felt “safe” to enter without  fear of being trapped. So we just said it for her.  LOL

As for my sister, they ran on her some tests and then the waiting game began. They lead you to believe you will be going home as soon as the doctor reviews the results. However, then the woman comes in to take your order for your breakfast, lunch and dinner the next day. No matter how much you protest and say you will not be there, you MUST commit to a turkey sandwich and soup. Oh, and don’t forget the jello option. Jello just tastes better in a hospital. 

The hours begin to tick away and the afternoon grows older. You begin to wonder if they plan on keeping you captive for another night and for some reason no one seems to have a clue as to what is going on. So you all just hang out and wonder. Butts become sore from the wonderful seating arrangements. My sister dozing on and off from the pain meds.

This alone was funny. She would fall asleep in that hospital kind of way (where the mandatory mouth open, drool falling kind of way). Then every 20 minutes she would jerk up and yell at my nephew and I to go for a walk and stretch our legs. To which we both would say we would and off she would go again to snooze. Then I’d go back to my ipad and he to his itouch.

Soon I realized that we would never leave if we didn’t ask. What I always find amazing when this happens is it always seems to go the same way….

Me to Nurse:  Do you know if the doctor has signed off on the test and she can leave?

Nurse to me: The Doctor’s are very busy and he probable hasn’t had a chance to review it.

Me to Nurse: Do you think by chance you can see when the doctor might be taking a look?

Nurse to Me: It probably will not be for a few more hours, like I said they are kind of busy.

Me to Nurse: I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t mind asking.

Nurse leaves, semi-ticked off I bothered to question what she asked me.

 

Nurse returns in 10 minutes later and begrudgingly… Nurse to My Sister: Looks like you get to go home now.

Me to myself: Glad I freaking asked or she would have been eating that Turkey Sandwich the next day as the doctor would have gone home for the night since no one followed up for him. 

Five more minutes pass and the doctor comes into the room to tell my sister she has a “Happy Heart”. Isn’t that nice. I loved this guy. He was awesome. Plus I got to tell the rest of my family that she had a “Happy Heart”. The rest of her wasn’t happy. The rest of her hurt or didn’t work. But dang it, her Heart Was Happy!  😀

For the record, I LOVED all the nurses we had. There was only one that seemed to have an attitude any time she came in the room for anything. And you guessed it, this is the one from the above conversation.  Funny thing is, she wasn’t even my sister’s nurse. Yep, she didn’t even rank enough for the board in the room of who is who. I wonder if it was to protect everyone involved.   LOL

I’m glad to say we blew that Popsicle stand in less than an hour. And my sister has been doing great with her Happy Heart. If she was a penguin she could have Happy Feet and a Happy Heart.   😀

But the real fun was the two nights I spent at her house with her dog and the thunderstorms. In our final piece of the saga, I’ll share that fun.

Ohhhhhhhhhh, and my internet is back on!! Yipee!  It is still slow as molasses as we have terrible service in the middle of no where, but it my terrible service and it is working.   😀

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Is it OK to Laugh at People in the Emergency Room?

 

 

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Sorry I have been quiet the past few days. In addition to my home internet being down I spent a few days at my sister’s. On Tuesday she was having some chest pain and ended up in the hospital for a couple of days.

However, since my blog is about finding laughter in our lives, I’ll not bore you with the details of that fun adventure. Yes she is fine and now at home driving my nephew who turns 16 today crazy just like she was prior to her hotel, I mean hospital stay. Although it would have made a great family story if she would have waited until today for the pain, then he could have had years of therapy on how his mom caused him to sit in a hospital for his 16th birthday. (Although we did tease her about that while there the other day – we can dream).

Now hospitals are a great people watching venue, especially the ER where you get to see all kinds of people. As much as I’d like to pick on the ER waiting room, sadly I cannot. By the time I had made the hour drive there, she was already in a room in the back. However, I will say, I did go to the waiting room and while I relayed her condition to some other folks, there were two random people just sitting there. This one lady almost fell out of her seat leaning in to hear our conversation. She wasn’t hiding her interest either as she looked at me dead on the whole time. If I didn’t know any better I’d of though she was a long-lost relative who finally decided to come out of the woodwork on this exciting day.

In the back, my sister had her own room (if you can call that small area a room). But it was all hers so it was comfy. No moaning roommate (yet). From where I was sitting I could see out to the nurse’s station and all the patients coming in and out. We all hate the wonderful gowns and watching people shuffle back and forth in them can be hilarious. From those that do their best to not show you anything to those that let it all hang out. And I do mean all hang out. My sister even cracked me up. She had on her shorts still so when it came time to shuffle to the restroom all that was exposed was maybe a 6in x 6in square on her back. This was enough to almost create panic in her mind. No one was supposed to see that spot!  LOL.

As I walked past the other rooms you could tell most of the other family members are having as much fun as I was. Once the “emergency” part is over, most of your time there is about waiting. Waiting to find out what is going on, waiting on more tests, and waiting to see if you will be held hostage for the night.

So many people are antsy in those little rooms. Let’s face it, unless you are the one in the bed who can take an “accepted” naptime, the rest of us fools must entertain ourselves. Moving back and forth, watching TV on the 6in screen where the sound is across the room watching shows you would never watch in the “real” world, perusing the hallways and peaking in other people’s rooms. If only they would let you pull back some of those curtains…

I wonder how long you have to be in your room before you stop caring what people see. You know the ones I’m talking about, the people who lie on their side with their butts hanging out for all to see?

Then you have the ones lying on their backs, sitting up, eyes closed and mouths wide open as they doze off. Drool dripping down the side of their mouth.

Some of the patients have their family by their side reading in the chair oblivious to grandpa almost falling out of the bed. (Must be reading that 50 Shades of Gray book).

My favorite is how the alarms on the machines are going off sending people into panic while the staff outside just goes about their business. Family members freaking out wondering if this means the person is going to die and why no one is rushing in with some paddles or something!  Yet, they casually pass by as if they hear nothing. Then, when the family feels the end must be near, they rush out and grab the first person in colored scrubs they see only to find they grabbed the food tech person who is clueless.

Finally someone roams into the room, pushes a button and walks out. Leaving everyone there dumbstruck that they didn’t even look at the patient to see if they were blue or something.

As I think of this, does anyone know what the white number is on the machine? The others make sense. I even tried Googling it. Yep, I was that bored. Turns out the answer isn’t as easy to find as you think. But a lot of people sure do ask though…cracked me up. (Now before you go googling it as well, it has to do with your resting breathing or something like that.)

Eventually they come to tell us, that they want to keep her overnight and run some more tests in the morning just to be sure all is ok. They tell us they have a room for her and they will be back shortly.

In case you didn’t know, “be back shortly” in hospital speak means two hours.

Eventually she is moved from her quiet little room to a slightly bigger room for two.

Yep, she has graduated to roommate status. Lucky her. And you knew the odds weren’t in her favor to have a roommate that would just sleep most of the time. What fun would that be?

Well this post is getting too long, so I will be doing a 3 part series I think. After all, we have one more day of fun and you definitely have to hear about my adventure with sleeping and her dog….

So, tomorrow we will continue this fun….

(Oh, and for those wanting to know, the internet at my house is still down. They say the problem is in their lines somewhere. Now they have to call out some other guy, to help the guy to find the problem – lucky me)

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~~~till we laugh again~~~