Memory Eraser

`

Do you know what this does? 

In the movie Men in Black it is used to erase people’s memory.

(when they see aliens they aren’t supposed to see)

`

I think I’ve come to the conclusion that as we age, someone is the world has a giant one of these things pointed at us.

How else can you explain how we tend to forget more and more with each passing year?

(not sure if aliens are involved tho)

ūüôā

~

I’m just saying…

It’s a possibility

~

LOL.. Right after I posted this I saw this…

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Kids Are Too Funny!

Ok, It is Wednesday and for most of you the week already feels like it is gone on wayyyyyyyy to long.

So with that, how about some more cute kid jokes?

~~~
Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team?
She ran away from the ball.
~~~
A bologna sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve food here”.
~~~
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Where you left it!
~~~
*Three pieces of string walk into the bar, but the bartender says, “sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.” Angrily they leave, but outside, one of the strings has an idea. They twist together and tie themselves and reenter the bar.
“Hey,” says the bartender. “Aren’t you those pieces of string?”
“No, I’m afraid not (a frayed knot).”
~~~
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar
~~~
What do you call a cow with no arms or legs?
Ground beef
~~~
A man walks into a bar and says…
oww!! (lol, get it?)
~~~
What do you call a hundred rabbits marching backwards?
A receding hare-line
~~~
The Olympic organizers have just announced that origami will be included in the 2016 games.
It will only be available on “paper view”.
~~~
Did you hear about the new pirate movie?
It’s rated ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH.
~~~
Q: What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
A: Nacho cheese!
~~~
My personal favorite of the bunch….

What do you get when you cross and elephant and a rhino?
Elephino!
~~~
Hope you liked a couple of them….

Maybe tomorrow I’ll tell you about my night with a murderer….

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

~~~

~




We All Need a SuperHero in our Lives

So, what superpower would you want? 

Would you fly?

Would you have invisibility?

Would you want to fight the bad guys and never get hurt?

Would you have x-ray eyes?

(u¬†perv) ¬†ūüėÄ

Let’s face it, we all would love some great ability.

I just hope most of you would use the power for good vs evil.

(I know how some of you are)

~~~

The other day I got my own personal SuperHero from my sister and nephews.

We will call him…

Super Duckie!!

He is able to float on water!!

Has the ability to never drown no matter how long he is held under water!!

Make other’s jealous of his cape!

(after all we all want a cape)

~~~

So, what other superpowers should Super Duckie have?

What did you want for your Superpower?

~

~~~till we laugh again~~~

What a Cool Present!

 

As you know, I’ve got a thing with Rubber Duckies lately. I just feel they bring happiness to everyone regardless of age.

Today I got the coolest present! Someone very important to me found this and immediately knew that it and I were meant to be together. I think after you see it, you will agree.

Isn’t it awesome!¬†

`

I have created a place for it with some of my new collection. I’m going to have gather all the children from their scattered spots in my life and create a dedicated home. But for now, this works perfectly.

I just had to share this cool gift. I think we were meant to be together.

`

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

I Wonder if Sarcasm Can Be a Full Time Job

As you know, I’m looking to discover what I should be when I grow up.

They always say you should look at what you are most talented at or what you love to do. As I have built my list one item stands out that I’m wondering how can I make money from it. I love the sarcastic thoughts that come into my head.

There was a time when most of them came out my mouth, but life has taught me to keep them inside. Sometimes I’m cracking up and people don’t realize it’s from the thoughts dying to sneak out my mouth.

I can’t tell you how many times someone is telling about a conversation that just begged for a witty comeback and when I ask what they said in response, they just shrug and say “nothing”. OMG! You are killing me!¬†These fools ¬†just set you up and you didn’t take the no brainer comeback??

Or I’ll say, did you say… XXX and they will go “No, I didn’t think of that.”

So maybe I can make money with the Sarcastic Hotline.

 

Right when someone needs that good comeback, they tell the person “one sec” then they give us a quick call and my team and I can offer them great sarcastic responses for $3.99 a minute.

Hmm, this might have potential.

 

I might have to think this through. Surely with all the stupid things that get said, this can be a full-time gig. I can make tons of money!

To all my sarcastic brothers and sisters out there. Let’s think of how we can put this extreme talent we have to good use. After all, shouldn’t we use our special powers for good vs for evil?

Oh, and to those that think I’m serious…..Thus lies our problem……

<<<insert sarcastic comment here>>>

`

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

 

Dumb Ducky Jokes

Quack Quack – Let’s Laugh




 

Thought I’d do something fun and share some Ducky Jokes.¬†

Shout out to this website who I “borrowed” them from ¬†http://lemontheduck.com/id10.html

~~~

Q: What time does a duck wake up?

A: At the quack of dawn!

~~~

 Q: What do ducks get after they eat?

A: A bill!

 ~~~

 Q: What do you call a crate full of ducks?

A: A box of quackers!

 ~~~

 Q: Who stole the soap?

A: The robber ducky!

 ~~~

 Q: What do you call two ducks and a cow?

 A:  Quackers and Milk.

LOLLL (one of my favs)

 ~~~

 Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with fireworks?

 A: A firequacker!

~~~ 

¬†Q: What’s another name for a clever duck?

 A: A wise quacker!

 ~~~

 Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?

 A: Foul (fowl) weather.

 ~~~

¬†Q: What says “Quick, Quick!”?

 A: A duck with the hiccups

 ~~~

Q: What has webbed feet and fangs?

A: Count Duckula

~~~ 

 Q: Where did the duck go when he was sick?

 A: To the Ducktor

 ~~~

Q: What did the detective duck say to his partner?

 A: I hope we Quack the case.

 LOL

 ~~~

 Q: What did the duck say to the banker?

 A: My bill is bigger than yours.

 ~~~

 Q: Which side of a duck has the prettiest feathers?

 A: The outside!

LOL

 ~~~

Q: What did the duck carry his schoolbooks in?

A: His Quackpack

~~~ 

 Q: Why did the duck fly south for the winter?

 A: Because it was too far to walk.

 ~~~

 Q: Which animal grows down?

 A: A duck

 booo

~~~

 Customer: How much is that duck?

Shopkeeper: Ten dollars.

Customer: Okay, could you please send me the bill?

Shopkeeper: I’m sorry, but you’ll have to take the whole bird.

 ~~~

¬†A man and a duck are walking down the street together. Suddenly the man notices a low-flying airplane coming right for them. The man yells “DUCK!!!!” and the duck looks back at the man with an angry face and yells “MAN!!!!”

 ~~~

A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, “Do you have any chapstick?” When the pharmacist hands it to him, the duck replies, “Thanks, just put it on my bill.”

~~~

Ok, hope you liked some of them…

Some were cute and some did cause a grown or two. (ok, maybe three)

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

~~~

~




Sunday Funnies ~ Edition 12

Sunday Funnies Time!

Where each week I share some of the funny things I’ve come across on Facebook or Google

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Another Great Use for Our Ducky Friends

This just cracks me up

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Why is it someone you know popped in your head when you read this?

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This would be so awesome if it delivered too

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Guilty as charged!

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We all need to practice safe sex

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If he flushes, don’t be in the car behind him

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Imagine the look of surprise on your face when you open your eyes after the big note

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Love this one! Too cute

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This was my favorite of the week

but…

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This one wins!

Cracks me up!!

~

Have a great Sunday Everyone!!!!

~

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Two New Duckies for the Collection

OK, I will not lie. I am doing a fluff post today.

But I’m excited about my two new additions to my ducky collection.

Ducky #1 was actually given to me by Buckwheatsrisk, when she saw him she knew I just had to have him.

`

This is Squirt

Isn’t he cute?

He is a happy little fella!

~~~

My other new addition came from my nephews and sister.

He is a big boy. He is much bigger than the other duckies.

Then again, he isn’t a he. I’m pretty sure she is a she.

This is Dotty

Guess she could have been spotty, but she is dotty

Which now makes her the 3rd Dotty in my life.

My late grandmother went by Dotty

(I doubt she came back as a rubber ducky though, but you never know since she went to the beat of her own drummer)

Then I have Dotty Headbanger who lent me her two duckies

Note to self, I may need a page on here for the collection of duckies

(update- check up top – I added one!)

After all, I am sharing with you my adoring fans as I collect them. Seems only fair.

Well there you have it. My two new babies.

Feel free to send me any duckies you think will be good for the collection.

Only catch is, they have to help other’s smile or laugh.

~~~

~~~Till we laugh again~~~

Look Who Went Swimming

So yesterday I showed you my “river” street. Guess who got excited?

He overheard me on the phone telling my mom the story and next thing you know, I felt a Swishhhhhh and out the door ran Pinky the Ducky.

I hung up fast and ran out after him. And what did I see???

Silly duck!

Guess I better lock the doors next time it rains

`

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Little Game of This or That

So I got to thinking ( I know. scary stuff). What if I did something that anyone could steal and play on their blog as well. No awards to have to thank the world for first, no having to come up with 145 awesome bloggers you could check out. Just a quick fun game to get to know each other a wee bit better.

So I blatantly stole some questions off the internet (Google made me do it).  Thank you sodahead!

Oh, and being the smart ass I am, I had to put my own twist. ¬†Oh you know you would have been disappointed if I hadn’t.

1. Math or English?  I speak English (barely) but I LOVE math!  Hated English in school, but would have done math all day if I could. 

2. Summer or Winter? ¬†I HATE being cold. Give me summer anytime. However, you can keep this darn humidity. If I wanted to be a wet mess I’d jump in the shower or a pool.¬†

3. Morning or Night? Love the night. Mornings come too early. However, I never get to sleep in. Life is unfair. 

4. Full House or Family Matters? Two great shows from my youth. I’m sorry, the Olsen Twins were way over rated. Weren’t cute then, not cute now. Rich, but not cute. Then again, either was / is Urkle. ¬†Hmm, ¬†loved both, I’ll call it a draw.¬†

5. Tea or Coffee?¬†Tea for sure. Coffee smells good but tastes terrible. I try it every 5 years and go ..”Yep, still no likey”

6. Harry Potter or Lord of The Rings? Harry wins! Lord of the Rings has a great story but is sooooooooooooo slow and boring. Harry and crew way more amazing and fun. 


7. Black or White? Hate white cars, love black cars, prefer to wear black over white any day. Black crayon is way better… I’m going with black.¬†

8. Dogs or Cats?  Love both but dogs win. More loyal and loving. Although, they should do a better job at not loosing their fur all over the house. 

9. McDonalds or Burger King? McDonalds. Can you say McRib and McLoving it?

10. Cake or Pie?¬†Not a pie person, but not a big cake person but will take cake over pie any day. Especially ice cream cake! ¬†ūüėÄ

11. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate! Vanilla is so plain. The word is even used to describe plain. 

12. Jocks or Nerds?¬†For?¬†Jeopardy, I’ll take the nerds. If it is Sport Jeopardy, I’ll take a jock for 200 please….

13. Cable or Internet? ¬†No cable unless it is providing my internet. We have DirectTV ¬† ūüėÄ

14. MySpace or Facebook?  I like to have my space but have never had a MySpace. So Facebook baby. (but only in small doses) Besides, I like when folks tell me they like me. They really really like me. 


15. The Simpsons or Family Guy?¬†Hands down Family Guy! Seth McFarland is hilarious…I laugh at the kids today that don’t even get half the 80s references he is making.¬†

16. Coke or Pepsi?¬†By a landslide…COKE!!! ¬†(excuse me while I take a sip)

17. Batman or Superman?¬†Both are cool. I’ll go with the guy who can fly…Although, Batman does have some cool rides….

18. Fantasy or Reality? Reality. Reality in my life and Reality in my TV shows. 

19. Comedy or Horror?¬†Hate horror flicks. Not a fan of blood and gore. But I’ll laugh my ass off any day.¬†

20. Pancake or Waffles?¬†Neither. But if you forced me, I’d do pancakes first. But only if lots of syrup to help.¬†

21. Baked or Fried?¬†Fried…I know, I know, grease is bad for you…. Now back away from my fries!


22. China or Japan?  Hmm, Japan by a hair. Not a fan of the earthquake stuff but waaaaaayyyy to many people in Chine for me. I need my space (just not MySpace). 

23. Hamburgers or Hotdogs?¬†Hamburgers. ¬†Mustard and onions please…. No really… I’m hungry…

24. Salt or Pepper? ¬†Pepper….aaaachhooooo….¬†

25. Peanut Butter or Jelly?¬†Now that I’m done dancing (the song..get it??? oh never mind)… I like together only if it is grape jelly

26. Boxers or Briefs? for me or for you? 

27. Amazon or Ebay?¬†Amazon has everything…kind of like Barbie, that bitch has everything too!

28. TV shows or Movies?¬†TV…costs a lot less than the movie and popcorn now a days. Plus you can watch a movie on TV but not TV on a movie screen¬†

29. Pen or Pencil? PEN! I hate pencils. Even drove my math teachers nuts. We compromised on an erasable pen


30. Phone Call or In person?¬†Neither. I hate the phone and really don’t want to see you. But if you plan to show up, a phone call first please. ¬†(text preferred)

31. Shower or Bath? Yes, you should always take one or the other. Personally, I shower. 

32.¬†Ketchup or Mustard? Depends of course. Mustard is made for meats and ketchup for fries, toast and scrambled eggs. ¬† ūüėÄ

33.Love or Money?¬†How about if I love money? love doesn’t pay the bills and money can only buy you love for one night, maybe two

34. Movies or Reading?¬†Hate reading remember, but love audiobooks. And I’ve learned that before seeing the movie, read the book since the movie will leave out the good stuff….yes you Harry Potter. If you only see the movies you miss half the good stuff

¬†35. Michael Jackson or Elvis?¬†Never understood the craziness of Elvis maybe because he was before my time. But I love his music. I was around for Michael but didn’t understand that craziness either. Although he was great in his time. Then again, I have never idolized and went crazy for any singer. Not even the N’Sync and¬†definitely¬†not Justin Beiber. ¬† ūüėÄ

36. Gift Cards or Cash? ¬†¬†I’ll take either .. Just send too……. ¬†1234 My Space… oh wait…

37. Paper or Plastic? Either is what I say. Although plastic handles seem to last longer.  The birds just need to learn to stop swallowing them. 

38. Santa Clause or Easter Bunny? The bunny is cuter but Santa has the better gifts!


39. Lucky Charms or Trix? Lucky Charms but only the marshmallow pieces. 

40. Mayo or Miracle Whip?¬†Is it me or does Miracle Whip have a funny taste? Just saying….

`

Ok, I cut out 10 questions, I was going for 50 but I got tired. You will live. I promise. Don’t believe me????

BONUS QUESTION:   Live or Die   LIVE!!!!!!  way more fun

`

ok, I have to get things done. Hope you had some fun….

`

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Ten Things About Me

Thought I’d do something fun and challenge myself. I’m going to try to think of things and count down from ten. Wish me luck!

10 ~ I have lived in 10 different cities since I moved out from my mom’s (some I did twice and covered 4 states in the process)

9 ~ I had 9 cents in my pocket when I got home

8 ~ I have 8 singing stuffed animals (just squeeze their fingers or toes)

7 ~ There are 7 rolls of toilet paper in the bathroom closet

6 ~ There are 6 pillows on my bed

5 ~  I have 5 poker books I have read

4 ~ I’ve owned my ice cream store for almost 4 years (November)

3 ~ We have 3 dogs that call our house home (Tia, Nahla & Lady)

2 ~ I have 2 laptops – one at work and one at home

1 ~ But there is only ONE ME!!!! ¬† Yahoo!! ¬† ūüėÄ

Dang, that really makes you think. It’s harder than you think. Don’t believe me, try it!¬†

But it does make me realize I should do a part two some day with other random numbers. Everything that seemed neat to put down was way more than 10. LOL

Hope you had fun…

~

~~~till we laugh again~~~