Cornfield + Summer in Arizona = This

So, I’m confused… 

Here in Maricopa out by where I live there are quite a few of these Cornfields


I’m driving home and got to thinking…

(scary, I know)


With Arizona being 110 – 115 degrees and having a dry, hot one of these

Shouldn’t this field look more like this? 

Now that I think about it….There are cows near by so if we use them for this….

Then we are all set!!

Mommy, is that a baby tornado? I don’t see a cow…

Mommy, is that a baby tornado? I don’t see a cow…  

Yes, the vision of a tornado and picking up a cow has been stuck in many a head since that movie Twister. As I suppose the Wizard of Oz got it stuck in people’s heads that a house would be caught in one spinning around.

Here in Arizona we don’t really get tornadoes. Thank god as the thought of hiding out in my cellar for hours on end and listening to sirens all night doesn’t sound fun at all. Never mind that whole destruction aspect of them.

No, we get what is called Dust or Dirt Devils. Little mini funnels of dirt picked up in the desert and spinning around. Occasionally they combine with the wind and create a big Haboob which is basically a mile or so long wall of sand, dirt, etc that you can’t see or drive in. Here is a picture from the big one Phoenix had awhile back. It was like 5 miles wide.


But as baby dirt devils in desert, they can be cute. On the way out of my little town you pass a bunch of them this time of year. I took a couple of pictures to share with you.




Kind of neat huh? Kind of like the sky is sucking up the dirt. I wish they were closer to see. They really are neat.

And every time I pass them, I’m still waiting to see if they picked up one of the cows out here.

So far no luck….

For me that is, the cows have been pretty lucky about it I guess…


~~~till we laugh again~~~


Look at Our Flooded Street

Living in Arizona is more than desert and heat. During July it is more like desert, heat and rain and some awesome electrical storms. Otherwise known as Monsoon Season.

If you aren’t familiar with monsoons, they are basically a lot of rain dropped in a very short period of time. It has nowhere to go. Especially in a state with no drainage.

So the rain with nowhere to go, piles up in any dip it can. Underpasses become big swimming pools. Yet people try to drive through their cars and manage to get stuck. So it is common to see people floating while they sit on their roof. We even have a law here called the “Stupid Driver” law that basically says if they have to rescue you due to your stupidity trying to drive through moving water you are liable and can be charged.

The water beds go from dry playgrounds (yes, they build playgrounds in these empty riverbeds) to raging rivers in a matter of minutes.

I’ve mentioned before I live in the middle of no where. To make matters worse, I live off a mini mountain so our desert not only fills up with water, we get extra moving water from the run off. Due to the natural washes in the dirt, certain areas flood out and become running water which can be dangerous to cross. My house and those around me, basically have 4 ways out of the back area we are in. Problem is, all four have big dips that fill up with water. Fast moving water on top of that.

So when it rains, depending on which side you are on, you are either trapped at home or trapped in town.

Yet, living out here, we all try to we all think we can find away. We hope a friendly neighbor got out their tractor and moved the mud or rerouted the flow. Most of us having trucks, know we can get through most stuff, be even we can’t work miracles in the big ditches or fast-moving rivers. 

The picture above was one of the smaller running water areas. Yes. smaller. This is on a flat road with no dip. So you can imagine what the bigger ones look like. The road workers had blocked off another road and were directing traffic down this road. You could get through this one, but that yellow sports car in the picture got stuck at the next one. They tried to go around the raging water and got stuck in the mud. Turn out they were three 20 something guys who thought they knew more than those of us in trucks.

After taking a few other long treks to some other ways through, we finally found our way to the street that leads to our dirt road. Here are a few of those…

Before – when street was dry

Yea, nice little river now

As you can see, the street now is not only full of mud and debris, but you can’t see where the street is and the property on the sides. They have all blended into one. Needless to say, were weren’t getting down this river anytime soon. I was on the fence to try since my animals were stranded, but common sense took over. I knew the heat would eventually make it driveable by morning as long as there was no more rain. So off to a hotel we went.

Here are a few more angles…

Oh and here is one of the other dips we could have attempted… NOT  This one always has the most water running through it after the rains and more people get stuck at it.

Looks straight doesn’t it? That is an illusion. Under this water is a huge dip that is now maxed out and flowing hard. You can see that on the left side.

Needless to say, the next morning I was able to ride up the embankment of our mini river and with my 4 wheel drive and didn’t get stuck. It killed me as a tree scrapped against my truck hard. But we had to get to the dogs to make sure they were ok. All looked good at the house and they were excited to see us.

Later that night we went to get our other car which is smaller as we had to leave it town the night prior. If you want a good laugh, I video taped us getting both cars through. Click on this link to my Facebook to see it. —>>  Video of driving cars through mini river….   (sorry I haven’t upgraded to load video yet)

Oh and when you watch it, there will be a mailbox on the left side. Keep in mind, the water was all the way back there and the post was about a foot under water.

Thankfully we didn’t have any more rain (other than drizzle) and the water is going down slowly.

So, that was my weekend. Hope you had fun too!   😀

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Dry Heat vs Muggy Heat

Living in Arizona and living through 4-5 months of 100 – 120 degree heat (or 38 – 48 Celsius for you others) I’ve heard my fair share of people saying “It’s a dry heat” Let me show you what a dry heat looks like…



Yes, it literally burns your skin off. You feel like you are baking in an oven. You know exactly how the Toll House Cookies feel.

Now, with that said, during July we have Monsoon season. Meaning the sky opens up and dumps tons of rain in a short period of time. And since we have no real drainage the streets become mini rivers. I’m not going to go too much into this, as that will be a fun post one day when we have a real bad storm and I can share my fun.

But with Monsoon season comes humidity. So like our sister states in the south, we go from this dry heat to a hot sticky mess. Let me tell you…110 degrees and sticky feels gross.

You are wet, your clothes are stuck to you, and you feel like you are walking into a wall when you go outside. Your glasses fog up and your hair goes crazy.

For the record…Both suck. Dry or humid you don’t win. But as much as I like rain, you can keep the humidity. I’ll take the 115 dry heat over the 105 humid heat any day.

Yep, I’d rather fry to death vs boil to death. 


And for those of you that say you prefer the cold vs heat….I’ll take the humidity first. Yep, cold rates lower than humid on my scale. I can’t stand being cold.. As I wrote once before…I am not an Eskimo ~ no offence to Eskimos — I just hate being cold.

Well, I’m not sure what the purpose of my post was. Other than to say it is HOT!!!   And today it is HOT and MUGGY!!!  Oh, and I hate my clothes being stuck to me like glue like this.

Maybe I should go back to San Diego…it was a nice cool 80 degrees (26 c).. To them they are having a heat wave. To me, it was heaven.

Yep, them cookies are a baking…

Stay cool and…


~~~till we laugh again~~~


Did You Miss Me?

I know you did. What’s not to miss?

Then again, you didn’t even know I was gone until I told you.   😀


So, I have just spent the past few days moving my sister from California to Arizona. It is always good to move someone from 75 degrees to 115 degrees. Makes them really warm up to the place.  (dang I crack myself up with that pun —think about it, you’ll get it).

I could probably have days of material to write about to make you laugh your ass off for weeks, yet I realize I have to live and if I pick on my sister I’ll get killed and I’ve grown attached to breathing.

However, without giving away too much, let me just say that if I never see another one of these in my life, I would totally be ok with it!

Let’s just say that I if anyone invested in Rubbermaid in the past few months, my sister has personally done her best to increase the value of your stock.

There is a reason they say one of  the top stressful things you can do is move. Especially after living in the same house for 20 years. I’m thinking it is just as stressful on the person helping you move the 20 years of totes. I’m just saying.

The fun part was driving the big 26 foot truck through the mountains and desert. Especially when your 15 year 11 month old permit carrying, wanna be driving nephew is following you. (with his mother of course ). I’m so proud of him. Not only did he let us abuse his 6ft strong self for moving (you got it ~ totes) but he got some great experience driving.

He got to deal with slow-moving trucks (including me at times) on mountains to those whizzing by with empty loads. He got to realize driving 7 hours straight is way over rated no matter how excited you are to drive.

Not our storm but darn close looking

The day prior to leaving I was telling him that when he takes his Arizona test, one question not found in California’s is what to do when you find yourself caught in a dust storm. I explained to him, when it is bad, you pull aside and let it pass. Well, wouldn’t you know it, as we made our way into Arizona, I look up and see two separate storms. One on each side of the freeway. As he drives behind me, I think…”I bet you these two combine.” JINX! Yep, in a matter of minutes, the two collide and become this big storm now heading our way quickly. (just like the picture).

He is behind my truck and all I can think of is, dang, I told him what to do yesterday so I better set the best example. So I pull aside and start a chain reaction of other trucks and cars. Yep, another fun experience he can cross off his list and be prepared for the next time. Which during this time of year, is probably once a week.

Well, I suppose I should go patrol some of your blogs and start to catch up. I feel so behind after the past 4 days. What if something big happened in the WordPress Blogging world and I missed it? Sniffle Sniffle.  What if you all abandoned me like I abandoned you? What if I created the largest game of hide n seek? Oh no!

Just do me a favor….Don’t hide in a tote.


~~~till we laugh again~~~

Today Fall Came in Arizona ~ April 23rd

fall I bet it seems odd to think about fall coming when it is 101 degrees at 5pm but today it did.

Many of you probably experience the changing of the leaves and the joy of raking them up. Here in Arizona, plants, bushes and trees have learned to survive without water so we usually don’t deal with this fun chore often delegated to the munchkins (children) in your life since we really have no leaves on most of our trees.

However today, Fall came. Yep, Fall arrived on April 23rd.

We have a tree called a Paloverde tree whose small leaves turn bright yellow in the spring. And I guess the past couple of days of 100+ degrees was just too much for them to handle. Today they decided to make a break from it and spread their yellow love across parking lots every where.


Fall in April


These little yellow suckers are all over the pavement, cars, islands, you name it, of the shopping center. A sea of yellow every where.

Only we don’t have to rake them.

Nope, the breeze just carries them away over the next few days. I’m thinking New Mexico will be yellow by next Tuesday when they all arrive there.

Today, this sight put a smile on my face and I hope it gives you a small one as well as I bring you the Arizona version of Fall in 101 degrees.


~~~till we laugh again~~~




Nothing Funny About the Homeless But….

Ok, don’t stand too close to me. You might get struck by lightening. I’m warning you now.

One of the things I say all the time is how it is the little things when we least expect it that tend to put a smile on our face or give us a quick chuckle. Many times the moment it happens, it probably isn’t the most politically correct time. But let’s face it. It happens.

It doesn’t make you a bad person, no matter what anyone else says.Now, that doesn’t mean you need to be mean spirited. There is a difference between laughing at a snapshot of time vs a long term situation.

Now, with my disclaimer out of the way, I wanted to share a moment from yesterday that made me smile / chuckle as I drove in to work. The road I was going down, is pretty empty as it only really has farm land or empty desert along it. There are a few bushes here and there though.

As I drove down the road, I see a bicycle with a cart full of “junk” sitting on the side of the road. It just seemed so out of place, like someone abandoned it. As I got closer I see what seems like a homeless man laying inside the bush, leaning up on a backpack, reading a newspaper, smoking a cigarette with a big jug of soda or something on his side. Being that it was 90 degrees I assumed the reason he was in the bushes was to escape the Arizona sun. But I’m not going to lie. The image of how comfortable he made himself and how he looked like any guy on a couch just made me chuckle for some reason. I thought how creative he was.

A few months ago, I had some customers come in, asking that I call the cops as it seemed like two people were in a fight inside the dumpsters behind my store. That one person was threatening to kill the other one. I pop my back door open and while I can’t see anything, I do hear a one sided argument going on. And being that some punk kids do stuff back there and we did have an incident a few years prior, I called the officer out.

Turns out our local “meth head” who raids the trashcans was in there fighting with himself. Which is pretty common the officer said. They are often called out to find him alone and arguing with himself. Now, I’m not sure if our friend is homeless or not. But let me tell you, this guy is pretty resourceful. He is a staple around here. He rides around all day on a bike raiding the trashcans of items people drop off and tries to sell it to you. We have seen him with big TVs on his handlebars, microwaves, , cabinets, you name it. My first encounter with him over 3 years ago he was in front of my store with 4-5 giant kiddie pools on his handlebars that he stole from the local Frys Market. While you know it isn’t right, he still makes you smile. Plus he has such a huge smile and is so polite as he is interacting with you you tend to forget that you should keep you hand on your wallet. But still, he is resourceful as he recycles (pun intended) the things people toss.

NOT our guy, but he would do this...

I’m not saying it right to laugh at the homeless or the those in bad situations. I’m just saying that sometimes their ingenuity to survive what life has dealt them is pretty amazing and sometimes deserves our appreciation. And if everyone is honest with themselves, there probably has been a time or two that you smiled or chuckled at how creative someone you saw was .

Now, if I don’t get struck within an hour or two, you can resume standing close to me. As long as you keep at least 3 feet away. But that is more for personal reasons than acts of nature.    😀


~~~till we laugh again~~~


Get Off My Butt, You Maniac

Have you ever watched that old Goofy cartoon where easy going Goofy gets behind the wheel of a car and suddenly he is transformed into a crazy mad dog driver?  I love that cartoon.

People make me laugh when they get behind the wheel of a car. For some reason they all feel like they are in a race.

First off, I don’t drive slow. I am a speed limit kind of person and will go 5- 8 miles over on occasion. I don’t speed for two reasons. First because I know most of the time you don’t get there that much sooner and I like living. Second, probably the most important, I will be the one that gets caught. My lot in life is to live by the rules that cost me money or jail time.

With that said, living in Arizona you get to drive a lot of long stretches of desert road with only one lane each way. You get to share this road with the slow folks, the fast folks and the big butt semi trucks.

While I don’t personally speed, I do expect others to at least go the speed limit. My eyes bug out when I’m behind the person that feels 5- 10 under is the best way not to get caught. Maybe their car is that old and falling apart. Who knows. But you know who I’m talking about. I feel like banging my head against the steering wheel. Yes I do occasionally pass, but luck is, if I’m behind that slow poke, I’m pretty sure the on coming traffic is such that I can’t pass. Thus dragging out my torture.

But my Goofy reference is more for the crazy drivers that feel they will get there faster than the rest of us — one car at a time. Take today for example. I’m on this stretch taking my nephews home. It’s probably 30 minutes going 50-55. Behind me is a big semi and I later learned, behind him was a red truck. In front of me was another semi and another slower car. Not so slow, but doing the actual 50 posted.

Through my side mirror I see a red truck come flying past the semi behind me and past me. Squeezing in between myself and the semi in front of me. You know the kind, where if you don’t slam on your breaks, he will get killed by the on coming traffic so its your duty to let his crazy ass in. I just had to laugh because when all was said and done, he couldn’t pass the semi in front of me and the slow car ahead of him due to the on coming traffic. I just laughed knowing his death defying maneuver saved him exactly 4.5 seconds in the end.

I also love the ones that zip in and out of traffic almost causing accidents, only for you to catch up to them at the light. It makes you just want to wave to them and say, “Hey, thanks for holding the light for me by getting here first.”  Then you just laugh.

I also love when they ride your butt thinking it will make you go faster. Don’t they understand it has the opposite effect on me? Yep, makes me want to go slower. Normally I just go exactly what the speed limit is. Just to drive them nuts. Maybe even set my cruise control to avoid the temptation of speeding up. Some people say do a brake check on them, but I’ve had my baby (truck) for 11 years. No idiot is worth them slamming into it.

All I know is, people get “goofy” when they get behind the wheel…..


~~~till we laugh again~~~

I Am NOT an Eskimo – no offense to Eskimos

For years I have said – “I am NOT an Eskimo”. I HATE being cold! Period. There is a reason I live in Arizona. I like being perfect or warm. Not cold.

Now, first off, I have nothing against Eskimos. I think Alaska is a beautiful state. With some awesome people. I even spent a couple of days in Anchorage. (What’s with the big giant polar bears in the hotel lobby by the way?) (them suckers are huge)

I grew up in Southern California where for the most part, the weather doesn’t swing to the extremes that often. Sure there are cold days or warm days, but most of the time it hangs out in the 70s or 80s. Worse case the 60s. But no where near freezing.

In my late 20s I moved to Utah. Now, when you transplant a So Cal girl to Salt Lake City, the welcome wagon should deliver a warm jacket to your new home. We don’t own jackets in So Cal. Maybe a windbreaker, but definitely not a warm down jacket. And as much as I hate being cold, I hated wearing my jacket more. I felt so trapped. Besides, guess what? It’s only cold outside, buildings were kept warm. Ever try and figure out what to do with a big old hunking jacket when you are inside? What a pain in the keester.

My five years in Utah, did not change my stance. I still was not an Eskimo. Nor would I ever be getting an honorary certificate.

Here is Arizona, it is H O T most months (Don’t start on the “dry heat” as I’m sure we will post on that later this summer)

But it can also get cold. Some parts more than others. But I only worry about the parts I physically reside. And the other night it dropped down to 30 degrees over night. And guess what? I was C O L D. Once again, whining about not being an Eskimo.

Ask a person what they hate more being HOT or being COLD most will say being hot. I say no, being cold. They will argue that at least you can put on more clothes. Hmmm

Ok, look, all the clothes in the world does not make my nose warm. Period. All those clothes only make me look and feel like a mummy with a cold nose.

Walking around with my hand cupped over my nose is not pretty. And don’t tell me to wear a scarf. I like to breath. Bad enough I pull my shirt up over my nose thus sucking in carbon dioxide and increasing my changes of asphyxiation.

Just so you know, I have no desire to travel back east, up north or any where below 30 degrees. So only invite me during your warm season.

Speaking of traveling, one of the coldest days in my life was in San Fransisco. Some friends and I went to Alcatraz. Now let me tell you, that wind was blowing like crazy and it was freaking cold! No wonder people didn’t escape from that place. They were frozen statues. I’m surprised that part of the tour didn’t include igloos vs cell blocks.And of course we didn’t have the proper jackets on. I’m thinking the ticket salesmen on the wharf really should have handed them out. Or at least some of those pocket warmer pack thingies.

Ok, I’m done ranting. You are probably wondering what got me going on this. Simple. My toes are cold. ~~~~   And don’t tell me to put on socks.

PS… If you live in one of those freezing cold places… Sorry to be you.  I’m pretty sure you will be laughing at me in 5 months when it’s 115 degrees here.   😀

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Sign Twirlers & Passion for the Job

We’ve all seen them, the kids they pay $10 an hour to stand on the corner swirling signs. Yep, they make that much, some pay even more. Unless of course they work for the place then they get minimum wage so if you feel the need to sign swirl, be an independent contractor!

Here in Arizona, these folks get to do this in 115 degree heat. When you pass them you want to give them some water. Makes you wonder if they have to pay for their own water out of that $10. Things that make you go hmmm… I keep waiting to drive by one day and see one lying flat out on the corner passed out from heat exhaustion. And I suppose in Montana they just freeze in place. As long as they don’t lick the light post they should be safe.

Or how about the poor folks at tax time that get to not only stand out in the heat but wear that cool statue of liberty costume? Now, you know you are jealous! Wishing you had that job.

How about the Entertainment value? They get so bored they start swirling that sign. Is it me or are they getting more daring with their tricks? Some can fling it in the air and catch it, some swing it behind their back, and some do a little dance. I’m always smiling or laughing at them. They are soooo cute and entertaining.

Then there are the ones that are so cool, you know the ones, in the hoodie, Ipod in their ears and attitude on their face. They look soooo excited by this high paying gig. And the poor things are so exhausted by this work, they they can’t even hold up the sign, they just lay it across their shins letting it point into the road. (I’m pretty sure the businesses isn’t located in the middle of the intersection)

But there is one problem. I usually don’t have the foggiest idea what that sign says. Last time I checked, I was driving and being entertained by their movements, I never really pay attention to their sign. Plus, even if I wanted to I would be SOL (poop out of Luck). When I would look, that is when the sign would not be over their head or behind the back, between the knees, or up their as… well you get the point.

So, my advice for those hiring these folks, while they definitely provide entertainment in some fashion for myself and the other drivers, for $10 – $15 an hour, you might want to see if you are getting what you pay for. I know I am…


~~~~~~~~ Till we laugh again~~~~~~~