I Am NOT an Eskimo – no offense to Eskimos

For years I have said – “I am NOT an Eskimo”. I HATE being cold! Period. There is a reason I live in Arizona. I like being perfect or warm. Not cold.

Now, first off, I have nothing against Eskimos. I think Alaska is a beautiful state. With some awesome people. I even spent a couple of days in Anchorage. (What’s with the big giant polar bears in the hotel lobby by the way?) (them suckers are huge)

I grew up in Southern California where for the most part, the weather doesn’t swing to the extremes that often. Sure there are cold days or warm days, but most of the time it hangs out in the 70s or 80s. Worse case the 60s. But no where near freezing.

In my late 20s I moved to Utah. Now, when you transplant a So Cal girl to Salt Lake City, the welcome wagon should deliver a warm jacket to your new home. We don’t own jackets in So Cal. Maybe a windbreaker, but definitely not a warm down jacket. And as much as I hate being cold, I hated wearing my jacket more. I felt so trapped. Besides, guess what? It’s only cold outside, buildings were kept warm. Ever try and figure out what to do with a big old hunking jacket when you are inside? What a pain in the keester.

My five years in Utah, did not change my stance. I still was not an Eskimo. Nor would I ever be getting an honorary certificate.

Here is Arizona, it is H O T most months (Don’t start on the “dry heat” as I’m sure we will post on that later this summer)

But it can also get cold. Some parts more than others. But I only worry about the parts I physically reside. And the other night it dropped down to 30 degrees over night. And guess what? I was C O L D. Once again, whining about not being an Eskimo.

Ask a person what they hate more being HOT or being COLD most will say being hot. I say no, being cold. They will argue that at least you can put on more clothes. Hmmm

Ok, look, all the clothes in the world does not make my nose warm. Period. All those clothes only make me look and feel like a mummy with a cold nose.

Walking around with my hand cupped over my nose is not pretty. And don’t tell me to wear a scarf. I like to breath. Bad enough I pull my shirt up over my nose thus sucking in carbon dioxide and increasing my changes of asphyxiation.

Just so you know, I have no desire to travel back east, up north or any where below 30 degrees. So only invite me during your warm season.

Speaking of traveling, one of the coldest days in my life was in San Fransisco. Some friends and I went to Alcatraz. Now let me tell you, that wind was blowing like crazy and it was freaking cold! No wonder people didn’t escape from that place. They were frozen statues. I’m surprised that part of the tour didn’t include igloos vs cell blocks.And of course we didn’t have the proper jackets on. I’m thinking the ticket salesmen on the wharf really should have handed them out. Or at least some of those pocket warmer pack thingies.

Ok, I’m done ranting. You are probably wondering what got me going on this. Simple. My toes are cold. ~~~~   And don’t tell me to put on socks.

PS… If you live in one of those freezing cold places… Sorry to be you.  I’m pretty sure you will be laughing at me in 5 months when it’s 115 degrees here.   😀

~~~till we laugh again~~~