I Bring You Mr Pants Down

I bring you – Mr. Pants Down. No, I don’t mean the kids (and sometimes adults) who think it they are all that and a bag of chips (Don’t forget the Coke – as Karla would tell me).

Why on earth would they feel the need to show the world they are intellectually challenged on how to do the simple task of pulling up their pants?

Maybe, their parents forgot to teach them where their waist was…

“Jimmy, where is your nose? Where is your knee? Where is your belly button?…”   You get the point.

It might be different if they had some boxers that had some important message. I can see it now written across one of their behinds…  “If I pull these up I will explode and kill dozens of people! I don’t do this for selfish reasons!  I do this to protect America!”

Now I have learned a few things due to this phenomenon

  • How to spell the word phenomenon (there is no i in case you were wondering)
  • Plaid is the most common boxer short for the pants up challenged
  • Silk boxers just make your pants slide off – it’s not their fault (Skinny dudes are screwed cuz no belt in the world helps – at least that is what they tell me)
  • Some do it just cuz everyone else is doing it and heaven forbid their think for themselves
  • Some guys still stitch their name on their underwear but there are a lot of Calvin Klein’s in the world tho (bad reference to Back to the Future)
  • And finally, some do it for the original reason, they think they are still in jail and trying to find a new bunk mate

But whatever the reason, it drives me FREAKING INSANE! Yes, I hate to admit it. It is one of the only things that drive me up the wall. Can you say the word – unrespectful? (no i by the way)

But I think I have found the solution. But I will need help from all the ladies. So ladies, Pssst, here is the plan….

Granny Panties! Yep, Let’s drop our pants down or hike up those skirts in and show them Granny Panties! Lots flowers, or maybe big hearts, the guys like boxers with hearts so why not. But either way, I know the dudes will love us ladies even more. Hell if they think they are sexy showing us theirs, just wait till we show them ours.

So like Mr Pants Down above, let’s get everyone dropping them. Hell, why do we bother wearing them? Seems like we should just get these guys to wear buttless chaps and accomplish the same thing. But maybe it’s just me…

 

~~~~~~~~ Till we laugh again~~~~~~~

Pugs in Love

I have been laughing my butt off all afternoon after seeing this picture a friend of mine posted. I knew right away I just had to share this.

There are so many funny lines you could capture with this picture. The cleanest of which is what I used – PUGS IN LOVE.  The looks on their faces totally look as if they are being interrupted and they were caught in the act of a wonderful evening together.

I thank whoever took this picture because it is hilarious and I hope it brings a smile and some laughter to your life as well. ….  Feel free to suggest captions as well if you want. OMG, I’m still laughing….

Little Old Man & Eskimos

We are on a roll now, T minus 22 days until our laugh a day begins.

True Story:

Little old white haired man waddles up to the returns desk when I worked at Home Depot. Real seriously he looks at me and asks “Why do Eskimo’s wash their clothes in Tide”. I look at the other person up there with me, we both shrug and go, “we don’t know, why?”

The little old man says “Because it’s too cold out tide”

Then he turns around and waddles away…..

Now for those of you who might be joked challenged, not only is the behavior of the little man funny, but this has been one of my favorite jokes.  In Tide (inside) too cold Out Tide (outside).  LOL. Still makes me laugh just typing it. I’ll always remember that little white haired man.

Bet You Thought I Forgot… T minus 24 days

OK, so I will have to come up with a plan. Cuz I’m still in my count down phase of a Laugh a Day and I almost missed today and I’m only on my second day of trying. (Stop laughing at me! – I know, I’m a slacker)

Hopefully yesterday everyone at least hummed Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer. Or at least thought about it.  (don’t know what i’m talking about? Obviously, someone hasn’t read yesterday’s post – off to the blog corner for you!)

Today, I will apologize in advance for not being at the top of my humor / sarcastic game. I will try and redeem myself tomorrow. But in order to comply with my own challenge I must supply at least one smile or laugh before I lay my head down to sleep. So, I thought I would share something I get to see every night before I go to bed. It is just one part of a ritual that goes on in my house. I’m going to save the whole ritual for a different day (since obviously I will need a lot of material to get me through 2012.      😉

But it always ends with someone ending up like this…..

          Now come on, you know it makes you smile!

 

~~~~~~~~~~ More tomorrow~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let the count down begin…

Hmm, so I suppose I should ride the laughter wave as I have it going. Should our souls be denied the humor it so craves until 1/1/2012? I say NO! I say we count down until our 365 days of laughter.

Day -25 – Yep negative 25 days to go.

And being that it is the holidays, and if you are like me, those Christmas songs everyone keeps playing are getting old already and we still have the rest of the month to go! (for some reason radio stations feel the need to stretch this out till New Years for some gosh awful reason.)

Soooo, for a good laugh, I think everyone should just sing “Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer” over and over all day long. At first people will sing or hum with you. But then after about the 387th time hearing you sing it, they will scream really loud, run out the room and swear off Holiday Jingles for the rest of the year. Ok, I tease, maybe not the rest of the year, but you might just get an hour or two reprieve. And honestly, every little bit helps.

Till negative day 24….

~~~~~~~GRANDMA GOT RAN OVER REINDEER….WALKING HOME FROM OUR HOUSE CHRISTMAS EVE……

SING IT!   Do it!      Now!      Save the world!        Save your sanity!      Save my sanity! 

~~~~~~~NOW YOU MIGHT SAY THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SANTA, BUT AS FOR ME & GRANDPA WE BELIEVE…..

Laughter or/a Smile: Some days are harder than others

I have a motto in life, laugh every day. No matter how bad you feel, no matter how much the world sucks, without laughter you feel no hope. For laughter is hope in disguise.  But what about those days you feel no ray of hope?

Those are the most important days to find a smile no matter how small or how quick it goes by. For that brief moment of laughter is sometimes the glue that gets you through your day, reminds you that it will be ok.

I promise you have that moment even if you don’t recall when it happened. Maybe it was an ant trying to carry a load to big, maybe it was a little boy telling him mommy he was big enough to tie his own shoes, or maybe it was an older couple riding in on their Harley with Santa Hats on their Helmets and the white ball flapping around.

You may not remember the little smile or chuckle, but it was there. And it was in that moment that you felt alive and it might be ok. Your conscious might not remember it, but your subconscious does.

When I challenge you to smile each day, all I’m asking is for you try and consciously feel the warmth of the smile. Even for that brief moment. The hope it gives will last longer. And don’t we all deserve a little hope even in our darkest days?

~~~~

(Wow, and not one sarcastic moment in that! – Whoops! till I typed that.  LOL  – oh well, guess I was just trying to give you your one brief moment of laughter – Cuz you know you just smiled!)  

 

Committing to 365 Days of Laughing – Will You Join Me?

As 2011 comes to a close, I’ve begun thinking about what my 2012 New Year’s Resolution will be.

I don’t drink or smoke so giving those up would make me an instant winner in the “did she keep her resolution” game. Gold star for me already! I rock!

I could always do the old standby of losing weight. But let’s face it – in a few weeks in I’d want a Coke & a scoop of ice cream. Who am I kidding; I’ll cave to both of those in less than 24 hours.

I could be determined to be less of a procrastinator – but I’d just put it off.

Then I thought, hey, I could be less sarcastic to those I love – but then I realized that was like asking me not to breathe. Besides, my family and friends hardly hear from me now, if I stopped being sarcastic with them, they’d never hear from me.

So I have decided to share with you my wonderful readers the one thing that keeps me going each and every day. Laughter. You see, I have committed to laughing every day no matter what. So my New Year’s Resolution will be sharing one thing each day of the year that made me laugh or I found funny.

I’d love it, if after you read my daily laugh, you would maybe leave a post or comment on one thing that made you laugh or smile that day. Let’s dedicate 2012 to making each other smile a little more in this fucked up world.   🙂

(Yeah, that whole giving up swearing resolution obviously wasn’t going to work either)

So hear is to more laughter in all our lives in 2012~

Drats, I just realized next year is leap year, now I’ll have to stretch my self to come up with 366!  LOL……..

 

~~~ Till We Laugh Again~~~  PS. Don’t forget to follow on Facebook for even more smiles and laughs!   Fan Page: Laughing At Everyday Life

 

Where Have I Been oh blog of mine…

So, I realized I stopped my blogging a year ago. Why? Did I lose my sarcastic touch? Did the world finally start to make sense? Did all the odd quirks people possess all of a sudden no longer drive me bonkers?

Oh hell no….

Ok, truth be told, I realized that I might have worried people were taking me much meaner than what I really was. See, my thoughts are not from a mean place, they are from a sarcastic place. You know, those thoughts that cross your mind yet most of you are too afraid to say out loud. Us sarcastic folks, we just say it with a smile. Makes it easier to swallow. Either that our we just hope it goes over most of your heads.  LOL.

Well, I’ve decided to dust off my blog and bring my sarcastic self back out of hiding. I am who I am. I am a loving person with a sharp wit. My curse. So no matter how much I love you or others, sarcasm runs through my veins. I must release these thoughts and share with the world.

I promise to say what you wish you could, you know you will chuckle at least once if not twice. It’s ok. We are both cursed.

So on this Thanksgiving Day I am thankful for many things. One of which is my sense of humor, sarcasm and all. Life throws at us too much crap, so my theory is, laugh at life! Humor is all we have and dammit! Laughing feels good! Just do it! You know you want to!

So as you lay your head down to sleep, think of one funny sarcastic think you which you could have said today. Go ahead, I’ll wait……………

Two hours later…… Yea, some of you need lessons. You suck at this sarcasm game…….

Ok, I’m tired, more sarcasm later…. I hope you all had a great Turkey Day… Cuz I’m pretty sure it sucked for the Turkey….

I Know She Just Didn’t Say What I Think She Said…

Those that know me know how much I pride myself on great customer service. Through the years I have preached not talk back or get into arguments with them. It’s not so much that the customer is always right; it’s more about providing great customer service. Some folks will have bad days. If a customer gets upset they are normally mad at the process or the company, not necessarily you so don’t take it personal. But there are some things I do not put up with and that is customers abusing my people. You can yell at me if you are mad, but not them. Besides, I’m way better at keeping my mouth shut when people piss me off. Well, let’s say I WAS good at keeping my mouth shut.

So, the other day, the following happened….

One of the joys of our ice cream shop is how we have 31 flavors (32 if you count them – we know you remind us every day smarty pants). Many people get flavor overload when trying to make a decision when faced with so many options. So we stand there for what feels like hours waiting for people to make a choice. It is painful to say the least. And often times it kills me just standing there when I have tons to do.

So, one of these wonderful moments were occurring the other day. This one lady and her friend were deciding. This one lady was taking F O R E V E R. Finally her friend realized it and said, “Hey, we need to decide, I’m sure she has other things she’d like to do vs waiting for us.” (awe, how nice of her).

To which her friend replied, “ITS HER JOB TO STAND THERE AND WAIT FOR US. THAT’S WHAT SHE GETS PAID TO DO.”.

NO SHE DIDN’T JUST SAY WHAT I THINK SHE SAID!

All my years of being good, left me in one minute. Before I knew it, the following left my mouth, “ No, it’s NOT my job to wait for you. I actually don’t have to wait at all. I CHOOSE to stand here waiting for you.”

She then said, “YES THEY PAY YOU TO STAND THERE.”

Now I’m not getting any happier in this situation as you can imagine. My well controlled smart ass continues to use its outside voice. “THEY, dont pay me anything, I own the place, I don’t have to WAIT for anyone. As I said, I CHOOSE to wait, now what would you like?”

Needless to say, her friend was very embarrassed, (she had no reason to be – not her fault her friend is a spoiled brat with no respect for others – especially those that are offering her their services).

The morale of the story boys and girls is this…

While yes you are paying for goods or a service, those that are helping you usually are trying to give you great service out of a desire to give you a great experience. There is no need to be rude to them when they are not rude to you. Yes there are rude service people out there. Fine, be rude back if they deserve it if you want, but there is no need for you to be rude to them when they are JUST DOING THEIR JOB as you say.  LOL.

Ok, maybe I let this get to me for no reason. Maybe I’ve worked too long with no time off. Maybe I was bored of waiting for her. Or maybe, just maybe – She was just a BITCH.

ROFL     :D

Birthdays – Not what they use to be

Remember when it was your birthday and you were so excited? You were going to have a good day – you just knew it. You’d have trouble falling asleep the night before because you were so excited. You couldn’t wait to blow out the candles on your cake. Next to Christmas, it was the best day of the year. Not just because of the boat load of presents you hoped to get, but because it was the one day that was all about you.

I’m not sure when it happens, but for each of us, that excitement changes one day. The presents slowly go from many – to a few – to possibly one if you are lucky. The big birthday cake your mom use to make or bought becomes cheesecake and coffee even though you are craving an ice cream cake.  And even if you had a cake, the candles would set off the smoke alarm now.

The day use to be all about you, but then one day, you have a birthday and everyone – including you – actually forgets.  How do we forget? Doesn’t everyone know how special we are? Instead it becomes just like every other day in our life. We get up and go to work. Even worse, we have to deal with stupid people. Don’t they know it’s our birthday? Can’t they just be smart for one day? Can’t they just stay away for our day?

Can’t our day be special just like it was so long ago? Oh well, there always is next year.

Ok, technically mine is in April, I’ll try and remind you all.  LOL

So why a blog on birthdays when mine is 6 months away? Oh that’s simple. I just wanted someone to know that even when we get older, someone can try and make their birthday special.

Happy Birthday Scarlett – Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa  😛

Till next time everyone…….

Why Are People So Rude Sometimes?

Last time I promised my next blog would be about common courtesy and I must live up to my promise. Why you may ask? Yep, you guessed it – out of common courtesy.

See, here is my issue, how can we as a society be lacking at times some of the most basic of niceties? I’m not talking Miss Manners here. I’m just talking about the good old fashion stuff our parents were supposed to teach us. Here are two areas that stand out to me and maybe they do to you as well.

**Holding the door as the next person starts to enter or exit.

o   We’ve all been there. About to walk into our neighborhood QT for a slushie. There are tons of people going in and out and yet someone ahead of you just lets the door slam into you and next thing you know, you are wearing your blue slushie all over you cuz that split second that would have killed them to hold the door open for you.

o   Oh and by the way, to some of you that I hold the door for – YOU’RE WELCOME.   I know it was just an oversight that you didn’t thank me.

**Cell Phones

o   I love my cell phone as much as the next person. I don’t let it out of my sight. But even I have some limits. How on earth did we live just 10 years ago without these tethers to everyone we know? (and some we don’t)

o   When I’m helping you Mr. or Mrs. Customer, please don’t answer your phone in the middle of our transaction and then walk away. Especially when others are waiting their turn.

o   By the way, it is also rude to walk up to the counter to order while you are still talking on your phone, I shouldn’t have to beg for your attention to take your order. Just wait outside until you are done.

o   When sitting in the lobby eating, please don’t start watching YouTube or your videos with the sound on high. If everyone can’t watch, they sure the hell don’t want to hear it.

o   When having dinner or lunch with others – this isn’t the time to pick up your crackberry and check your email or start playing a game while I’m talking to you.

o   Oh, and when you do answer the loud, obnoxious ringer in the restaurant, do you really have to yell so loud when talking to the other person? It’s a phone, not a tin can on a string.

Ok, I feel better. Maybe we each can do our part to not be one of these folks that drive us nuts.  🙂

 

Till we rant again………..

Bingo Whining – Pass the ear plugs

Ok, I’m not too proud to say I’m a bingo player. I play on-line more than in a live bingo hall but that is more out of convenience.

I’ve been playing at my site for over a year now and I love it there. Great chat hosts and some great bingo buddies to chat with. If you come and play with us, you might find me being my smart ass self usually picking on the chat hosts or the “regular” players. That is if I’m not “justcuzgetoutofthefreezer” as a certain chat host says.

Which now brings me to my weekly rant.  BINGO WHINING

Ok, I know losing is painful. I know it sucks losing your money. It becomes frustrating after long periods of no wins. It can even make you so angry you want to kill “waldo”. Yes Julie, I’m talking to you. (inside joke). Hell even I get depressed and feel like a big old loser some days (like this week for sure). But please STOP THE WHINING! I’m not talking about the occasional whine out of frustration. The needing to share your pain because you can’t take it anymore. I get that, I really do. And I’m ok with this type of whining.

Here are the whiners that drive me bonkers (and no it’s not a far drive)

A)   The people that will win and then like 7-8 games later will be whining that they can’t win a game. Then they will win again and say it’s their first win even though we all can see they have been winning. I swear these people think they should win every game.

B)   The people that think if they whine each and every game the fake bingo caller will hear them and feel sorry for them and give them a win just to shut them up.

C)   The people that are new, use free money, play 5-6 games then whine the site is rigged and no one can win here. Hello, winner every game. And by the way, we don’t want you to win, cuz then you stay and then you will just become the whiner mentioned in section A or B above

D)   People whining about the same winners all the time. Yes, I agree, it can get very frustrating seeing the same names over and over. But hey, everyone gets on a run and then there are those that spend TONS of money to get those wins. They are the same people you ALWAYS see in the deposit specials. Trust me, they Lose it as fast as they win it. They are gamblers and can’t help it. They spend hundreds of dollars to your $25 a week for those wins.  LOL

E)   Math lesson people. If you buy 60 cards ($15) then you have to win every 6-8 games or you lose. STOP BUYING all them cards and maybe, just maybe your money might not run out in a couple of hours. If you keep buying that many, quit whining about it, you are doing it to yourself.

F)   Oh who are we kidding, you are whining for the bingo win so you can use the winnings to go play slots. Face it, slots are your crack and crack is wack as Whitney says.

Ok, I feel better now. I know this blog will not stop the whining. Hell, I’ve been losing all my free bbs (fake bingo money for you that don’t play). I’m getting sick of losing too. Maybe I should start whining. Nahhh, not worth it. I’ll just be smart and take a day or two off and hope my bingo mojo comes back.

Till we rant again readers…..

Next time – we talk about Common Courtesy