Laughing at Everyday life

59 Comeback Woman Can Use on Bad Pickup Lines

59 Comeback Woman Can Use on Bad Pickup Lines




Have you ever had a guy slither up to you with a twinkle in his eye and a bad pickup line rolling off his lips? Did you wish you had a great comeback? Well next time you will be ready with these great responses I found while roaming the internet for you.

Here are 59 Comebacks for those Bad Pickup Lines

Laughing at Everyday lifeMan: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.

Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!
No, they’re prison pants. And it’s time for me to make my escape.

Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me crazy!
No, I’m Finnish. Finnish with this conversation!

Feel my shirt. That’s boyfriend material.
It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain.

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.
I don’t. But I know karate and I could rip your lungs out.

There’s something wrong with my eyes. I can’t take them off you.
I’m having a problem with mine, too. I can’t see you getting anywhere with me.

What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
I was gonna ask you the same thing!

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I’m a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?
Go ahead. I need to practice hitting a moving target.

Why don’t we get drunk and make some bad decisions?
You look like you already are, and you just did.

Didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.
I’m thinking it was history. Which is what you should be right now.

Are you a magician? Because abraca-dayum, girl!
Yeah. Now watch me disappear.

Is your last name Campbell?
Because you’re Mmm Mmm good!

Your nickname must be Dirt Devil, because tonight you’ll be alone with the power of an upright in the palm of your hand.

Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes.
Sorry, no map. So why don’t you just get lost?

Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see!
Are you from Istanbul? Because you sound like a real turkey.

I just Googled “sexy” and a picture of you came up.
You’ll get the same result if you search for “not interested.”

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
If I said I wanted to check out your ass, would you turn around and walk away?

Man: Is this seat taken?
Woman: No, and mine will not be anymore if you sit down.

Laughing at Everyday lifeMan: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I’m a female impersonator.

Man: I will do whatever it takes to please you.
Woman: Ok, please me by getting out of my sight.

Man: I would go till the end of the world just for you.
Woman: Really? Ok. Would you stay there?

That’s a cute dress. It would look even better on my bedroom floor.
And it would look fabulous jammed into your windpipe.

Here I am! What were your other two wishes?
That he be charming and handsome. I guess not all wishes come true.

All those curves and me with no brakes.
So cheesy, and me with no pizza.

Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you.
No, but you must be a jury notice, because I’m trying to avoid you.

I feel like a library card, since I’ve been totally checking you out!
Did you notice that I’m like a best seller? Currently unavailable.

If you were a McDonald’s burger, you’d be the McGorgeous.
Thanks, Ronald, but I’ve already talked to enough clowns tonight

Man: You are the reason why men fall in love.
Woman: Thank you. And you are the reason why women don’t.

Man: I’d really like to get into your pants.
Woman: No thanks. There’s already one asshole in there.

Man: Haven’t we met before?
Woman: Yes, I’m the receptionist at the STD Clinic.

Man: I can give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t usually accept cheap gifts.

Man: Your face must turn a few heads!
Woman: And your face must turn a few stomachs!

Man: Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason!
Woman: Yeah! To pick up some chicks!

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
Actually, it’s you. Because you just crashed and burned.

Excuse me, does this napkin smell like chloroform to you?
Not as much as that pick-up line smells like desperation.

You know, you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
And you look exactly like the guy I turned down two seconds from now.

Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams?
No, they hurt from dodging corny lines like that all night.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

laughing at everyday lifeMan: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.

Man: Hi! Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
Woman: Maybe once. I never make the same mistake twice!

Man: Baby, your body is a wonderland!
Woman: That’s funny, because yours is a wasteland!

Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Woman: Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time!

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Man: Hi girl, your place, or mine?
Woman: You go back to yours and I go back to mine.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Away from you.

Man: If I am able to rearrange the alphabet, I would put “U” and “I” together.
Woman: Oh, how sweet. If you asked me, I would put “F” and “U” together.

Older Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: For the first half of it, I probably wasn’t born yet.

Man: So, wanna go back to my place?
Woman: Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put you between F and CK
Woman: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put you before GLY

Man: I can make your bed rock
Woman: No you can’t, I have a Tempurpedic

Man: What do math and my dick have in common?…They’re both hard for you
Woman: You must be a math problem because you’re annoying and difficult.

I hope you found some you liked. Make a man glad he picked you to give his line to

~~~till we laugh again~~~




 

3 thoughts on “59 Comeback Woman Can Use on Bad Pickup Lines

  1. Cindy Taylor

    Well, the funny thing is, I’ve heard my hubby and my 20 year old joking about many of those pickup lines over the years, so I took great joy in telling them what the responses might be LMAO!!

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