Can Women Take a Joke?

 

Ok, so yesterday we shared some jokes about men. It is only fitting that we share some jokes about women. After all, women want equal rights so we get to make fun of them too!

Here are 13 Jokes About Women that you can tell

 

Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion

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What did God say after creating man?

I can do so much better.

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Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

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When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver. A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her aside. “Step aside, lady,” he barked. “I’ve taken a course in first-aid!” The woman watched for a few minutes, then tapped him on the shoulder. “Pardon me,” she said. “But when you get to the part about calling a doctor, I’m right here.”

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A man asks his wife, “What would you do if I won the lottery?” His wife says, “Take half and leave your ass!” The man replies, “Great! I won 12 bucks, here is six, now get out!”

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A married couple are out one night at a dance club. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large: break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says, “See that guy? Twenty years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.” The husband says, “Looks like he’s still celebrating!” –

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A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors. Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably, “My wife missed the bus.”

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A wife asked her husband, “Honey, will you still love me when I am old and overweight?” The man replied, “Yes, I do.”

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Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. At least he’ll shut up after you let him in.

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Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

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I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life

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I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her

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If you want to know who is really man’s best friend, put your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car, come back an hour later, open the trunk, and see which one is happy to see you.

 

So, did you find one you liked? Do you have one to share?