Funny one liners

17 Funny One Liners

Sometimes One Line Says it All

 

Funny one liners Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

I just let my mind wander, and it didn’t come back

I can handle pain until it hurts

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door 

A farmer in a field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200

What’s the definition of a will? It’s a dead giveaway.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room

I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool so I gave him a glass of water.

Funny one linersI find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

How are husbands like lawn mowers? They’re hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don’t work.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

You’re not fat, you’re just… easier to see

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

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