Hmm, maybe that was a little rough.
Oh surrrrrr, go ahead. Make as many New Year’s Resolutions as you can. Join the rush to be rah rah for 30 days promising yourself you wont do this, or you will do that. But don’t come to us in February acting as if you never promised it. LOL
Let’s face it. Only 1 in a 10,000 people are successful with these things,
Buttttttttt…..
If you want to take some steps to make your life better in 2014, I’m in! Besides, why be normal? Why be a statistic? Just be you! Here is what we should do…
We are flawed, but each day we take one step to laugh a little more, move a little more, eat a little better, laugh even more and be kind to others. If we all do a little each day, think about how far you will be on Dec 31, 2014?
I know in 2014 I plan to swing by and laugh with you a little more than I did in 2013. Ok, stop laughing, I did stop by at least 10 times last year so I have a low bar to hurdle. LOL.
And to start with a few laughs, how about these resolutions I found at Jokes4us.com: (with a little tweaking for my mind or bad habits or just to make it more 2014..Or to even be a smart ass..Me?? i know…LOL)
New Years Resolutions You Have No Chance At Keeping
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, “LOL, LMAO, or ROTFLMAO!” (I’ll screw this one up by 12:01 tonight)
Start using Facebook for something other than Candy Crush or Papa Pear (How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t play Facebook games!!!……….unless they are on my cell phone) LOL
Try to figure out why you “really” need 5 Facebook accounts. (Not me but I do know someone…LOL)
Resolve to work with neglected children… your own. (Hopefully they remember who you are)
Lose 20 pounds by going to the gym! (Now, that is funny, Let’s get physical, physical, sing it Olivia!)
You will stop using, “So, what’s your URL?” as a pickup line. (geeks love this one)
You will spend less than five-hour a day on the Internet. (I see some of you balled up in the corner already sucking your thumb and rocking on this one)
You will spend less than $1000 for coffee at Starbucks this year. (Once again, I know someone…)
Stop repeating myself again, and again, and again. (And no, you can’t keep blaming Alzheimer’s)
You will stop tagging pictures of me in pictures even when I’m not in them (Seriously, that’s not me, are you blind?)
You will think of a password other than “password” (and yes, stop using 12345 as well!)
New Years Resolutions You Can Actually Keep
Read less. (protect you eyes)
Gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds. Gain enough weight to get on The Biggest Loser.
Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store
Stop exercising. (watch the folks on Biggest Loser do it while you eat ice cream)
Waste time playing Candy Crush and Papa Pear (Oh yes I will!)
Watch more TV. You’ve been missing some good stuff. Blacklist??? lol
Watch more movie remakes. (Then pan them compared to the originals)
Start washing your hands after you use the restroom. (you know who you are)
Procrastinate more. (I’ll get around to this one)
I will do less laundry and use more deodorant. (for the guys)
Drink. Drink some more. (One Tequila, two tequila, three tequila …FLOOR)
Stop buying worthless junk on Ebay, because QVC has better specials .
Start being superstitious. (Hate to tell you, floor 14 is really 13)
Spend more time at work. (I’m a pro at this one)
Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more. (now I just need some lunch money..got 50 cents?)
Take up a new habit: maybe working on this blog more! ( ok, ok, I’ll try!)
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/holidayjokes/newyearsjokes.html (with my additions)
Ok everyone, hope you got at least one laugh!!! Time to say good bye to 2013 and lets laugh together in 2014!!
