Look Who Went Swimming

So yesterday I showed you my “river” street. Guess who got excited?

He overheard me on the phone telling my mom the story and next thing you know, I felt a Swishhhhhh and out the door ran Pinky the Ducky.

I hung up fast and ran out after him. And what did I see???

Silly duck!

Guess I better lock the doors next time it rains

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

Look at Our Flooded Street

Living in Arizona is more than desert and heat. During July it is more like desert, heat and rain and some awesome electrical storms. Otherwise known as Monsoon Season.

If you aren’t familiar with monsoons, they are basically a lot of rain dropped in a very short period of time. It has nowhere to go. Especially in a state with no drainage.

So the rain with nowhere to go, piles up in any dip it can. Underpasses become big swimming pools. Yet people try to drive through their cars and manage to get stuck. So it is common to see people floating while they sit on their roof. We even have a law here called the “Stupid Driver” law that basically says if they have to rescue you due to your stupidity trying to drive through moving water you are liable and can be charged.

The water beds go from dry playgrounds (yes, they build playgrounds in these empty riverbeds) to raging rivers in a matter of minutes.

I’ve mentioned before I live in the middle of no where. To make matters worse, I live off a mini mountain so our desert not only fills up with water, we get extra moving water from the run off. Due to the natural washes in the dirt, certain areas flood out and become running water which can be dangerous to cross. My house and those around me, basically have 4 ways out of the back area we are in. Problem is, all four have big dips that fill up with water. Fast moving water on top of that.

So when it rains, depending on which side you are on, you are either trapped at home or trapped in town.

Yet, living out here, we all try to we all think we can find away. We hope a friendly neighbor got out their tractor and moved the mud or rerouted the flow. Most of us having trucks, know we can get through most stuff, be even we can’t work miracles in the big ditches or fast-moving rivers. 

The picture above was one of the smaller running water areas. Yes. smaller. This is on a flat road with no dip. So you can imagine what the bigger ones look like. The road workers had blocked off another road and were directing traffic down this road. You could get through this one, but that yellow sports car in the picture got stuck at the next one. They tried to go around the raging water and got stuck in the mud. Turn out they were three 20 something guys who thought they knew more than those of us in trucks.

After taking a few other long treks to some other ways through, we finally found our way to the street that leads to our dirt road. Here are a few of those…

Before – when street was dry

Yea, nice little river now

As you can see, the street now is not only full of mud and debris, but you can’t see where the street is and the property on the sides. They have all blended into one. Needless to say, were weren’t getting down this river anytime soon. I was on the fence to try since my animals were stranded, but common sense took over. I knew the heat would eventually make it driveable by morning as long as there was no more rain. So off to a hotel we went.

Here are a few more angles…

Oh and here is one of the other dips we could have attempted… NOT  This one always has the most water running through it after the rains and more people get stuck at it.

Looks straight doesn’t it? That is an illusion. Under this water is a huge dip that is now maxed out and flowing hard. You can see that on the left side.

Needless to say, the next morning I was able to ride up the embankment of our mini river and with my 4 wheel drive and didn’t get stuck. It killed me as a tree scrapped against my truck hard. But we had to get to the dogs to make sure they were ok. All looked good at the house and they were excited to see us.

Later that night we went to get our other car which is smaller as we had to leave it town the night prior. If you want a good laugh, I video taped us getting both cars through. Click on this link to my Facebook to see it. —>>  Video of driving cars through mini river….   (sorry I haven’t upgraded to load video yet)

Oh and when you watch it, there will be a mailbox on the left side. Keep in mind, the water was all the way back there and the post was about a foot under water.

Thankfully we didn’t have any more rain (other than drizzle) and the water is going down slowly.

So, that was my weekend. Hope you had fun too!   😀

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Sunday Funnies ~ Edition 11

Wow another Sunday has arrived. 

That means it’s time to share some of the funny stuff I found on Google or Facebook

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Thank you for noticing too!  😀

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Oh, you know who you are!

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And giving it 100% too!

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Too darn cute!

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I have big plan for some of you

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See, the shows are working, even I’m forgetting

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I’ve always wondered what that Carrie Underwood song was about

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This is what the “dry” heat feels like

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My weekly Non~Normal & Proud of It!

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And you belong in our club!

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LOL.. one of my top 2 for the week

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But this is my winner! it just cracks me up.

I’ve always wondered how pug noses are made!

(drats, it cut off the top, the dogs on belt up top had long noses)

~

Hope you liked them!

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

Little Game of This or That

So I got to thinking ( I know. scary stuff). What if I did something that anyone could steal and play on their blog as well. No awards to have to thank the world for first, no having to come up with 145 awesome bloggers you could check out. Just a quick fun game to get to know each other a wee bit better.

So I blatantly stole some questions off the internet (Google made me do it).  Thank you sodahead!

Oh, and being the smart ass I am, I had to put my own twist.  Oh you know you would have been disappointed if I hadn’t.

1. Math or English?  I speak English (barely) but I LOVE math!  Hated English in school, but would have done math all day if I could. 

2. Summer or Winter?  I HATE being cold. Give me summer anytime. However, you can keep this darn humidity. If I wanted to be a wet mess I’d jump in the shower or a pool. 

3. Morning or Night? Love the night. Mornings come too early. However, I never get to sleep in. Life is unfair. 

4. Full House or Family Matters? Two great shows from my youth. I’m sorry, the Olsen Twins were way over rated. Weren’t cute then, not cute now. Rich, but not cute. Then again, either was / is Urkle.  Hmm,  loved both, I’ll call it a draw. 

5. Tea or Coffee? Tea for sure. Coffee smells good but tastes terrible. I try it every 5 years and go ..”Yep, still no likey”

6. Harry Potter or Lord of The Rings? Harry wins! Lord of the Rings has a great story but is sooooooooooooo slow and boring. Harry and crew way more amazing and fun. 


7. Black or White? Hate white cars, love black cars, prefer to wear black over white any day. Black crayon is way better… I’m going with black. 

8. Dogs or Cats?  Love both but dogs win. More loyal and loving. Although, they should do a better job at not loosing their fur all over the house. 

9. McDonalds or Burger King? McDonalds. Can you say McRib and McLoving it?

10. Cake or Pie? Not a pie person, but not a big cake person but will take cake over pie any day. Especially ice cream cake!  😀

11. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate! Vanilla is so plain. The word is even used to describe plain. 

12. Jocks or Nerds? For? Jeopardy, I’ll take the nerds. If it is Sport Jeopardy, I’ll take a jock for 200 please….

13. Cable or Internet?  No cable unless it is providing my internet. We have DirectTV   😀

14. MySpace or Facebook?  I like to have my space but have never had a MySpace. So Facebook baby. (but only in small doses) Besides, I like when folks tell me they like me. They really really like me. 


15. The Simpsons or Family Guy? Hands down Family Guy! Seth McFarland is hilarious…I laugh at the kids today that don’t even get half the 80s references he is making. 

16. Coke or Pepsi? By a landslide…COKE!!!  (excuse me while I take a sip)

17. Batman or Superman? Both are cool. I’ll go with the guy who can fly…Although, Batman does have some cool rides….

18. Fantasy or Reality? Reality. Reality in my life and Reality in my TV shows. 

19. Comedy or Horror? Hate horror flicks. Not a fan of blood and gore. But I’ll laugh my ass off any day. 

20. Pancake or Waffles? Neither. But if you forced me, I’d do pancakes first. But only if lots of syrup to help. 

21. Baked or Fried? Fried…I know, I know, grease is bad for you…. Now back away from my fries!


22. China or Japan?  Hmm, Japan by a hair. Not a fan of the earthquake stuff but waaaaaayyyy to many people in Chine for me. I need my space (just not MySpace). 

23. Hamburgers or Hotdogs? Hamburgers.  Mustard and onions please…. No really… I’m hungry…

24. Salt or Pepper?  Pepper….aaaachhooooo…. 

25. Peanut Butter or Jelly? Now that I’m done dancing (the song..get it??? oh never mind)… I like together only if it is grape jelly

26. Boxers or Briefs? for me or for you? 

27. Amazon or Ebay? Amazon has everything…kind of like Barbie, that bitch has everything too!

28. TV shows or Movies? TV…costs a lot less than the movie and popcorn now a days. Plus you can watch a movie on TV but not TV on a movie screen 

29. Pen or Pencil? PEN! I hate pencils. Even drove my math teachers nuts. We compromised on an erasable pen


30. Phone Call or In person? Neither. I hate the phone and really don’t want to see you. But if you plan to show up, a phone call first please.  (text preferred)

31. Shower or Bath? Yes, you should always take one or the other. Personally, I shower. 

32. Ketchup or Mustard? Depends of course. Mustard is made for meats and ketchup for fries, toast and scrambled eggs.   😀

33.Love or Money? How about if I love money? love doesn’t pay the bills and money can only buy you love for one night, maybe two

34. Movies or Reading? Hate reading remember, but love audiobooks. And I’ve learned that before seeing the movie, read the book since the movie will leave out the good stuff….yes you Harry Potter. If you only see the movies you miss half the good stuff

 35. Michael Jackson or Elvis? Never understood the craziness of Elvis maybe because he was before my time. But I love his music. I was around for Michael but didn’t understand that craziness either. Although he was great in his time. Then again, I have never idolized and went crazy for any singer. Not even the N’Sync and definitely not Justin Beiber.   😀

36. Gift Cards or Cash?   I’ll take either .. Just send too…….  1234 My Space… oh wait…

37. Paper or Plastic? Either is what I say. Although plastic handles seem to last longer.  The birds just need to learn to stop swallowing them. 

38. Santa Clause or Easter Bunny? The bunny is cuter but Santa has the better gifts!


39. Lucky Charms or Trix? Lucky Charms but only the marshmallow pieces. 

40. Mayo or Miracle Whip? Is it me or does Miracle Whip have a funny taste? Just saying….

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Ok, I cut out 10 questions, I was going for 50 but I got tired. You will live. I promise. Don’t believe me????

BONUS QUESTION:   Live or Die   LIVE!!!!!!  way more fun

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ok, I have to get things done. Hope you had some fun….

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

Dry Heat vs Muggy Heat

Living in Arizona and living through 4-5 months of 100 – 120 degree heat (or 38 – 48 Celsius for you others) I’ve heard my fair share of people saying “It’s a dry heat” Let me show you what a dry heat looks like…

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Yes, it literally burns your skin off. You feel like you are baking in an oven. You know exactly how the Toll House Cookies feel.

Now, with that said, during July we have Monsoon season. Meaning the sky opens up and dumps tons of rain in a short period of time. And since we have no real drainage the streets become mini rivers. I’m not going to go too much into this, as that will be a fun post one day when we have a real bad storm and I can share my fun.

But with Monsoon season comes humidity. So like our sister states in the south, we go from this dry heat to a hot sticky mess. Let me tell you…110 degrees and sticky feels gross.

You are wet, your clothes are stuck to you, and you feel like you are walking into a wall when you go outside. Your glasses fog up and your hair goes crazy.

For the record…Both suck. Dry or humid you don’t win. But as much as I like rain, you can keep the humidity. I’ll take the 115 dry heat over the 105 humid heat any day.

Yep, I’d rather fry to death vs boil to death. 

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And for those of you that say you prefer the cold vs heat….I’ll take the humidity first. Yep, cold rates lower than humid on my scale. I can’t stand being cold.. As I wrote once before…I am not an Eskimo ~ no offence to Eskimos — I just hate being cold.

Well, I’m not sure what the purpose of my post was. Other than to say it is HOT!!!   And today it is HOT and MUGGY!!!  Oh, and I hate my clothes being stuck to me like glue like this.

Maybe I should go back to San Diego…it was a nice cool 80 degrees (26 c).. To them they are having a heat wave. To me, it was heaven.

Yep, them cookies are a baking…

Stay cool and…

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 




Did You Miss Me?

I know you did. What’s not to miss?

Then again, you didn’t even know I was gone until I told you.   😀

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So, I have just spent the past few days moving my sister from California to Arizona. It is always good to move someone from 75 degrees to 115 degrees. Makes them really warm up to the place.  (dang I crack myself up with that pun —think about it, you’ll get it).

I could probably have days of material to write about to make you laugh your ass off for weeks, yet I realize I have to live and if I pick on my sister I’ll get killed and I’ve grown attached to breathing.

However, without giving away too much, let me just say that if I never see another one of these in my life, I would totally be ok with it!

Let’s just say that I if anyone invested in Rubbermaid in the past few months, my sister has personally done her best to increase the value of your stock.

There is a reason they say one of  the top stressful things you can do is move. Especially after living in the same house for 20 years. I’m thinking it is just as stressful on the person helping you move the 20 years of totes. I’m just saying.

The fun part was driving the big 26 foot truck through the mountains and desert. Especially when your 15 year 11 month old permit carrying, wanna be driving nephew is following you. (with his mother of course ). I’m so proud of him. Not only did he let us abuse his 6ft strong self for moving (you got it ~ totes) but he got some great experience driving.

He got to deal with slow-moving trucks (including me at times) on mountains to those whizzing by with empty loads. He got to realize driving 7 hours straight is way over rated no matter how excited you are to drive.

Not our storm but darn close looking

The day prior to leaving I was telling him that when he takes his Arizona test, one question not found in California’s is what to do when you find yourself caught in a dust storm. I explained to him, when it is bad, you pull aside and let it pass. Well, wouldn’t you know it, as we made our way into Arizona, I look up and see two separate storms. One on each side of the freeway. As he drives behind me, I think…”I bet you these two combine.” JINX! Yep, in a matter of minutes, the two collide and become this big storm now heading our way quickly. (just like the picture).

He is behind my truck and all I can think of is, dang, I told him what to do yesterday so I better set the best example. So I pull aside and start a chain reaction of other trucks and cars. Yep, another fun experience he can cross off his list and be prepared for the next time. Which during this time of year, is probably once a week.

Well, I suppose I should go patrol some of your blogs and start to catch up. I feel so behind after the past 4 days. What if something big happened in the WordPress Blogging world and I missed it? Sniffle Sniffle.  What if you all abandoned me like I abandoned you? What if I created the largest game of hide n seek? Oh no!

Just do me a favor….Don’t hide in a tote.

~

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Knock Knock…

I have actually been away from my laptop the past few days and you didn’t even know it… LOL

Tomorrow I should be back to normal. But meanwhile, I pre did my posts the past few days (and this one).

Have you ever tried to bang out three posts when you normally do them all off the cuff? It’s hard.

Today, I’m not going to lie, I took the easy way out. I found some cute knock knock jokes that are bound to get at least one smile out of you!   😀

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Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Cash.

Cash who?

No thanks, but I would like a peanut instead!

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Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Doris.

Doris who?

Doris locked, that’s why I’m knocking!

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Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Honey bee.

Honey bee who?

Honey bee a dear and get me a soda!

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Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Madam.

Madam who?

Madam foot got caught in the door!

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Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Cows go.

Cows go who?

No, cows go moo!

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Ok, back to normal tomorrow  (or at least as normal as I get)   😀

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

Ten Things About Me

Thought I’d do something fun and challenge myself. I’m going to try to think of things and count down from ten. Wish me luck!

10 ~ I have lived in 10 different cities since I moved out from my mom’s (some I did twice and covered 4 states in the process)

9 ~ I had 9 cents in my pocket when I got home

8 ~ I have 8 singing stuffed animals (just squeeze their fingers or toes)

7 ~ There are 7 rolls of toilet paper in the bathroom closet

6 ~ There are 6 pillows on my bed

5 ~  I have 5 poker books I have read

4 ~ I’ve owned my ice cream store for almost 4 years (November)

3 ~ We have 3 dogs that call our house home (Tia, Nahla & Lady)

2 ~ I have 2 laptops – one at work and one at home

1 ~ But there is only ONE ME!!!!   Yahoo!!   😀

Dang, that really makes you think. It’s harder than you think. Don’t believe me, try it! 

But it does make me realize I should do a part two some day with other random numbers. Everything that seemed neat to put down was way more than 10. LOL

Hope you had fun…

~

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Sunday Funnies ~ 10th Edition

Yahoo! Sunday Funnies Time!

You know you are excited!

Each Sunday I share some of the fun stuff I came across on Google or Facebook.

Hope you like them!

We all have at least one in our life

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Bet you wish you had a $1 each time this has happened

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Oh yea!

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Wouldn’t it be great to say this?

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Yep, only animals and aliens

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Yep, I keep telling them that.. LOL

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That’s Right Baby!! 

That’s how I roll!

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I was guilty as charged

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I still have 42 text messages ahead of you

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I do this for you! So you can see me

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And now for my personal favorite for the week…

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OMG this cracks me up!!!!

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Hope you like them! Have a great day!!

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

I Can’t Imagine Why Your Kid is a Brat

First off, let me go on record before any haters come out, I’m extremely against child abuse. Those that do should be punished not just by being locked up, but getting the shit beat out of them in return so they know how it feels.

But with that said, there is a difference between beating your child and holding them accountable for their actions. Lessons are not learned sitting in a corner for 5 minutes or taking away their cell phone (oh horrors of all horrors)

Yes, many kids turn out awesome with very little discipline.  Great parents? Possibly. Great genes? Maybe. Lucky? Definitely.

However, I’m noticing more and more how kids are allowed to run around destroying things with no accountability.  They are allowed to talk back with barely a peep in return. The mouth’s on some of them is amazing. Hard to believe some of them are only 9 or 10 years old.

How parents are shocked when these same kids become really obnoxious, hate spewing, smart ass brat teenagers is amazing to me. When all these parents need to do is only look at how they held (or didn’t hold) this teenager accountable long before they turned 13.

So it got me thinking, what other fun things could we do to these future smart ass hoodlums.

Bet they will not sprinkle the sugar on the carpet again

Even better, Tabasco sauce for the smart ass mouth

(ok, maybe that is extreme, how about make them do that spoon of cinnamon test?)

Yes, you will listen to this story for the 8,000 time. Until you learn to stop rolling your eyes

Yep, the dreaded grounded with a new twist

(don’t worry, straws for breathing can be included)

Yes, a special jail cell you can drop your kid off at the police station when you catch them stealing a cookie.

As you know, stealing a cookie today means  stealing your car at 16

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Oh the stories I could tell from just watching kids and their parents in my store for the past 4 years. Never mind what I have seen in public.  There has to be a solution we can agree on.

Maybe it isn’t whupping their butts, but some how we need to find a way to raise kids that respect not only their parents more, but also have and show respect to others. Bullying is out of control, damage to other people’s property is out of control and this sense of entitlement is crazy.

 Then again, maybe an a$$ whupping is what some of these little monsters need. 

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Don’t even get me going on how this younger generation is impacting the workplace. Especially once they begin to get held accountable for their actions.

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Let’s have some fun

(If no kid gets harmed during our dream punishments)

What would yours be?

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~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

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~




11:45 PM, Do You Know Where Your Post Is?

Ok, I’ve had a crazy long day.

Just ran in the house getting back home. It’s 11:45 pm.

And what does my memory recall?

My Post a Day in 2012 is at risk yet again!

How can I screw it up?

No my loyal readers! I will not!!

So one quick smile for you!

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For my fellow Non~Normal and Proud of It! Club Members

You know it made you smile…Just admit it

😀

~

~~~till we laugh again~~~

The Old Man and His Red Wagon

Ever have one of those 24 hour periods where you just know the world has gone crazy? 

Maybe it’s me who has gone crazy and the rest of the world is sane.

I’m just projecting my internal cuckoo clock on others.

~

In the past 24 hours I’ve been running in to crazy, stupid and a combination of both. I know the moon has been full and the thunderstorms drive some mad. Throw in some heat and firework kabooms and you have a good mixture of nut job juice.

I don’t have time to write about them all, let’s just say there is quite a few. But I want to share at least this one.

 

The Old Man & the Red Wagon

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So a few months ago an older gentleman came into the store and asked if he could leave his vacuum with us until he could return and pick it up.

Yes, you just read that right.  As it is common for someone to be traveling down the road with a vacuum, then stop in an ice cream store to park it until he could find a ride. . Being the nice person I am and after realizing that he meant no harm, but seemed to be just be “out of it” a wee bit, I agreed. We placed it in the corner and as promised, her returned an hour later to pick it up.

Picture last night around 5pmish. We are busy since we are the only crazy ones open in town and they cancelled the town’s festivities due to the earlier rain. In walks our vacuum friend asking if he can leave some “boxes” for an hour or two until he could return. Only this time, his hand is bleeding as well. My employee calls me over to make this executive decision.

We step outside so I could “investigate” these boxes and determine if I should can help him. Turns out they aren’t boxes, but rather kitchen trash cans. Not one, but two.

He stated he was trying to take them home but he fell off his bike (hence why his hand was bleeding – by the way, he declined our offer of a band-aid). He just wanted to know if we would watch them until he found a ride or could return with his wagon.

Now, please realize these weren’t clean trash cans. No, they had dirty trash bags and stuff hiding under a pillow of some sort. I know there is no way I can have them inside my lobby and he even realizes this. I offer to let him keep them off to the side up front but he doesn’t feel comfortable and asks about the side of the building. But as he is doing this, he is announcing rather loudly (unintentionally) that he is worried someone will steal his valuables inside. At this point you can only imagine my imagination wondering what these “valuables” were.

But here lies my next problem. He is saying this loud enough for all these kids (some are local punks) outside to hear. And I just know the minute he walks off, the promise of riches inside these cans will take over and they will be jacked before he gets around the corner.

Being the nice person I am once again, and once again knowing how honest he seems to be, (and the fact that the deck is missing a card or two) I tell him to bring them around back and I’ll put them just inside my door until he returns.

These cans are extremely heavy. So now I’m really curious as to the “valuable” things inside. We place them inside and he begins to rummage through them as if he is taking a mental picture and creating an inventory list of the contents.

Under the old kid pillow were a bunch of books and bottles of old beer. Yep, his valuable haul was for a quiet evening drinking and reading. He must have noticed the look on my face (actually I’m holding back giggles) and starts to tell me someone gave them to him.  Yes, because people always give an older man on a bicycle two loaded kitchen trash cans of books and beer to ride home miles away. Happens all the time…..

I smile and say that was nice of them (can you say dumpster diving?) I let him know I will be there for a few more hours and just come to the front when he gets back. He then tells me how he will be lucky to find a ride since he is sure his neighbors are all drunk.  LOL.

I let him know that if he can’t get back in time, I’ll just place them out back for him. He reassured me he will be back shortly (Panicked I’m sure that I will help myself to the stash).

As promised, a little while later he returns with…. Yep, his red wagon.

I tell him I’ll meet him out back and when I open the door I notice his hands are behind his back. Red wagon at his side. Odd, but ok.

Then he asks…“There are three of you here right now right?” ….

Me..“Excuse me?”  as now I realize I might have a crazy man at my backdoor deciding if he has at least 3 bullets in his gun.  Or even a tougher question, can he take out three girls at his spry 78 years of youth.

He repeats the question and I say yes. He then pulls his hands from behind his back (me ready to trip him if needed) and with a big smile…he presents me with 3 melting Hershey’s Chocolate bars.

Stop laughing……

Ok, to make a long story short (Too late) I take the chocolate (I can’t be a rude hostess) and offer to help him with his precious cargo. He takes the first one, then pulls the pillow off to “show me” what he has (More like check off his inventory list to see if the ice cream lady snagged a beer or book or both).

He then proceeds to tell me how this neighbor was drunk and couldn’t drive him and the other neighbor had a few business calls to return (on the 4th of July at 7pm) and it might be awhile before he could take him. So my new friend went to his other neighbor to borrow the red wagon. And here he is now was as promised, dragging his wagon the 7 miles from where he lives.

This man is definitely entertaining.

I can hear them needing me upfront but I hate rushing my new friend but alas I must bring this fun to an end. I watch as he loads his treasure chests on his red radio flyer and heads off into the sunset.

I picture him curling up with one of the school textbooks (yes, that’s what the two I saw were) and the beer I had never have heard of before and settling in for night of fireworks and light reading.

This is 100% true and no embellishing was needed. This is just one of many strange things to happen to me in the past 24 hours. But I promise, none were as entertaining as my new friend with the red wagon.

I can only imagine what the next 24 hours might have in store. Life is full of moments that make us smile or laugh. (Even when we want to strangle the stupid people)

~~~till we laugh again~~