Letter to Mr Ride My Ass

Dear Mr. Ride My Ass,

Yes, I see you behind me. In your big semi truck. I notice the speed limit on this little road we are on says 55 miles an hour. I notice that I’m going 60 miles and hour and I also notice that you are getting closer and closer by the minute. I’m pretty impressed by your 70+ miles an hour in that big rig.

I’m pretty sure those teeth on your grill are meant to intimidate me as you fill up my rear view mirror. Grrrrr, I’ll eat you up you silly ice cream truck!”. I can hear it screaming now.

But you know what? I’m not afraid. If anything, I laugh at your over aggressive driving harassment. Ha Ha Ha!  All you make me want to do is slow down to make sure you can’t pass. I have the upper hand on this two lane highway. Sure you might be bigger than me, but I have the power right now. I know those teeth aren’t real.

So you just chill right back and settle in. It’s going to be a long 10 miles for you bub! You done messed with the wrong Pink Ice Cream Truck!

Sincerely,

The nice lady in the truck you are trying to eat.

PS. The Oreo Sundae on the side of the truck is fake. It is not real. So calm down.

`

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

0 thoughts on “Letter to Mr Ride My Ass

      1. Christine.

        Hear hear. I hate bully drivers. I just wish I could get the hand gestures right when they pass me. I don’t wish to practise as I don’t really like making such gestures but, when behind the wheel, one takes on a different persona. Ha 🙂

  1. Tiffany (lifewithblondie)

    Confession: It was me driving the big truck. Not really, but for some reason I can’t explain, my feet are made of lead. I know, it’s terrible. I should slow down and enjoy the ride, but I have a vortek under my hood, and I like to hear her purr! I dream of my kids growing up not so the house can be empty, but so I can trade the 15 passenger van for a 2 seater Corvette and haul ass all up and down the back roads!

  2. Carrie Rubin

    The only thing a tail gater is likely to get me to do is go slower. Passive aggresive, I suppose. But it bugs me to no end to have someone ride my tail. It’s not like I’m a slow driver either.

  3. buckwheatsrisk

    ahaha! my Hubby get so annoyed with me because i can’t stand tailgaters so i either slow right down or put on my breaks, it freaks him out, he asked me to promise not to do it when he is in the car anymore..he’s also worried i could get shot one day..which sadly is a possibility.

  4. John the Aussie

    The only time I sit right behind someone is just as I plan to overtake. Truckied are afraid to run us over… Too much paperwork and time in the clink.

    Also a fun game is to sit level with.someone so no one can come around you and watch them change lanes in hopes of passing as you slow down and speed up giving the impression there will be a gap between me and car beside me. The car beside me clicks on 9/10 times and joins in.

    For the record, when people jam their brakes in an effort.to.scare me into backing off, I hit the pedal to the metal. Many of love taps had been had, many of times has the.brakee been booked for dangerous driving after they’ve called the cops. I was just preparing to overtake you because your doing 20 less than the limit and I was held behind by oncoming traffic.

    Also if you ever decide to jam your brakes just say a kid was running across the road. I got booked that day, and no kid was ever present… There’s always someone smarter on the roads than us…. And it pays to learn from ’em.

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