Letter to Mr Ride My Ass

Dear Mr. Ride My Ass,

Yes, I see you behind me. In your big semi truck. I notice the speed limit on this little road we are on says 55 miles an hour. I notice that I’m going 60 miles and hour and I also notice that you are getting closer and closer by the minute. I’m pretty impressed by your 70+ miles an hour in that big rig.

I’m pretty sure those teeth on your grill are meant to intimidate me as you fill up my rear view mirror. Grrrrr, I’ll eat you up you silly ice cream truck!”. I can hear it screaming now.

But you know what? I’m not afraid. If anything, I laugh at your over aggressive driving harassment. Ha Ha Ha!  All you make me want to do is slow down to make sure you can’t pass. I have the upper hand on this two lane highway. Sure you might be bigger than me, but I have the power right now. I know those teeth aren’t real.

So you just chill right back and settle in. It’s going to be a long 10 miles for you bub! You done messed with the wrong Pink Ice Cream Truck!

Sincerely,

The nice lady in the truck you are trying to eat.

PS. The Oreo Sundae on the side of the truck is fake. It is not real. So calm down.

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~~~till we laugh again~~~