It’s Gonna Be A Long Week ~ I’m Sorry

I might as well apologize now.

There, I’ve said it. Those words we all hate having to say.

Why am I sorry?

This week is going to be a crazy week for me. Too much to do. And no matter how much I like hiding from the “real” world by hanging out with you fine people, I must slide you to the side a wee bit to make room for all the Mother’s Day cakes I have to make.

Yep, you heard me right. Besides my mad skills in the sarcasm world and my extremely gifted talent of finding humor in silly things, I actually can make ice cream cakes.

I’m definitely not that talented, but I have designs I can copy and I’m a great copier. I leave the art to my sister. She is the artist, I’m the smart ass who copies.

There are two times a year we sell tons of ice cream cakes and Mommy & Daddy Day’s are the biggies. So I must focus on those.

So, I will not be able to read as many of your blogs as I would like. But I promise, when I do get back on track, I’ll scroll back to catch anything good I might have missed.

I need you all to do me a favor and save all the good stuff until next week. Ok?  Cool, I knew you would all understand. Good little bloggers you all are.

Now, try not to miss my smart butt comments. I know some of you will hide and cry in the corner. Don’t worry, it will be OK. The world will not end.  (At least not until December).

Off to do a conference call, then off to make some cakes. Maybe off again to do other stuff I need, then back to making cakes. Then tomorrow wash and repeat.

Maybe one day I’ll bore you with some fun we have while making them. Like how I turned my fingers pink today from making too many pink purses. Making the purses didn’t cause the problem, my lack of keeping the tint off my fingers caused it. But that’s a story for another day.

Maybe one day I’ll show you some of the cakes we have done.

Ok, now stop reading!      I have stuff to do!    😀

 

Did I mention that I have some cakes to make?

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

 

She Really Needed That Big Mac NOW!!

People crack me up. If I’m looking for laughs, I really don’t have to go far. Human nature gives me some of my best laughs each day.

Take today for example. Well, today’s example happens all the time and I just shake my head each time.

I thought I’d be nice and pick up one of those 20 piece nugget deals for the kid that is working right now for her and I to share. No biggie. So I head to the McDonald’s around the corner. Our McDonald’s is only a few years old, so it has that new dual drive thru they are putting in every where.

The trick to these dual drive thru’s is to almost always take the outside lane. The way they are built, actually allows for the two cars vs one since there is the extra gap to pull around. Thus allowing outside lane people to order faster.

Now, you don’t have to like this fact, but it is what it is and I take full advantage of this. But some folks are either upset by this injustice in the world, or they just want that damn Big Mac and can’t wait. Personally I think it is because they didn’t think of it first.

So even though you clearly ordered your food first, they feel it still should be a I go, you go scenario. Unfortunately, that isn’t how the inside works. The poor kid at the register has you in the order you ORDERED.

So these folks now get to the window, and if they aren’t paying attention, they pay for your food and then possibly pick up your food. I have had this happen several times. How lame can you be?

You just ordered 4 big macs, 3 fries and sodas…. did you really think your order was only $5.75???

The hard part for me is, driving the Pink Truck and it screaming my local business all over it, I have to be nice. Sure I shake my head, but yelling out “Are you really that stupid?! Would probably be bad for business. Don’t ya think?

So there I sit. Smiling. Laughing at how this woman felt the need to almost hit my truck to prevent me from getting ahead of her in the single file portion of our lane. Then smile at me as if she didn’t mean to do it. I just smile and nod back.

As long as there are people in the world, I will have plenty to laugh at each day.

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

5 Reasons You MUST Go See Avengers ~ Yes, Even YOU

I know what some of you are thinking. “I don’t like Comic Book Movies”. Let me tell you, this is more than a Comic Book Movie!

I “like” a lot of movies. I even find myself occasionally “really liking” a movie. But rarely do I fall in “LOVE” with a movie. I only say I LOVE a movie once in a blue moon. I think people way over rate many movies out there. I promise never to do that to you. I’m a tough critic on movie Love.

Trust me, EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU MUST GO SEE AVENGERS!

By far one the best freaking movie I’ve seen. Definitely top 5, maybe higher.  You will not regret your decision. I’m not going to do a movie review. Others do a way better job than I. But I will share my five reasons those of you who don’t think you want to see the movie, why you should.

Here is why (in no particular order)

1.  Avengers is more than a comic book movie – You do not need to be a superhero fan to watch this movie. This movie falls into the group of movies that make you feel good. The type that makes your heart warm when people triumph over adversity. You feel good the whole movie. If you did like comics as a kid, then it makes it just that much better. But definitely not a requirement.

2. Non stop action from beginning to end.  One of the few movies that truly need to be seen on  the big screen – Few movies are must see on the big screen. This is one of them. The action scenes are fantastic. Done big. And explosive. You don’t need to see in 3D (we didn’t) and trust me, you get a great experience. It truly is non stop. You are engaged from beginning to the end. I promise.

3. You don’t have to have seen the other movies ~ If you didn’t get a chance to see the other movies they put out prior to this one, don’t worry. You do not have to see them. I had seen Iron-man and Hulk, but not Thor or Capt America. I do not feel it hurt my viewing pleasure. Do not let this stop you. If anything, it has made me want to go watch them now.

4. You will laugh your ass off! – Ok, the biggest surprise. This movie is freaking hilarious. Not funny bad, but sarcastic one liners, great banter between the characters. I laughed my ass off the whole movie. Josh Whedon wrote a fantastic screenplay. Even if you aren’t a great fan of action movies, the comedy is spot on. I laughed so hard!

5. Finally ~ This guy…..

Every good movie has a scene stealer, and in this movie it is by far Hulk. He has two of the best scenes in the movie that leaves the audience cheering and yelling. Yes, the entire theater is  hooting and hollering and clapping in unison. Not many movies do that. I’ve only been in a handful of movies that cause an audience to cheer. The Hulk is worth seeing the movie alone for.

 

Like I said.

SEE THIS MOVIE!

 

I promise you will feel great when you watching and when done. I promise it is worth the $6 – $10 you will pay to go see it.

 

Have you seen it yet? Did you love it? No Spoilers… only innuendos so we don’t ruin it for anyone….

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Sunday Funnies 1st Edition

As you know, I love my friend Google. I’m always checking with him for my pictures for my Blog and he always delivers.

Sometimes, I come across some pretty funny things that have nothing to do with what I’m writing about, but I love them anyways.

So I got to thinking, why not start a little feature on Sundays where I share some of the funny stuff I found during my week?

Just little quickie laughs just like the Sunday Funnies.

Hope you like them.

This one just made me giggle… Too funny

Someone Partied A Little too Hardy Last Night

Get a Room Guys… Jeeshhh   😉

For my Canadian friends & Mom

“Where did you hide the Cat-Nip?!?!

This one reminded me of all of you ~~ my crazy readers / fellow bloggers / friends

Have a Great Sunday & Let’s Start All This Fun Again Tomorrow!

~~~till we laugh again~~~

OMG, I Think She Might Be A Masochist!




Just when you think you know someone, you realize that you don’t.

It’s been 12 years, and I never really connected the dots.

Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning!

As I was giving her what she wanted, I thought

“OMG, I think she might be a masochist!”

How had I not realized this before? How did I miss all the signs?

 

I guess the first sign should have been the way she pushed her neck so hard into my hand or foot.

I swear she loves how it cuts off her air and she gags.

Having me do this night after night until I’m exhausted!

Then I think of all the odd cuts or scars she shows up with. Never complaining. Not even a peep. Not even the time she had a silver dollar size opening in her skin. Nothing. zilch, nada.

Even when visiting the Dr she let’s them poke and prod her. No flinching when the long needles come out.

She even insists on the anal temperature probe. Is that sadness I see when they stop???

If I’m honest, I swear she gets excited by the thought of pain.

Yes, my baby loves to be hurt. And she really loves it when I’m the one inflicting it I think.

I’m not quite sure how I feel about this new-found discovery.

But I do know, that nothing will stop me from loving her.

 

 

My Masochist Girl Loves Pain

How can you not love her?

 

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~



Watch Were You Spit!

I’m a pretty easy going person as I have mentioned before. Keep your pants up and I’m happy.

However, some kid today reminded me of one of the things that drives me up a wall.

If you feel the need to hock up a big loogie, do me a favorite and don’t spit it right in front of my store where my customers walk in.

While you are at it, how about you don’t spit it anywhere on the ground I walk on? Especially in the parking lot where I get out of my truck, step down then discover your bodily fluid you left behind for me.

And If I’m putting in requests, how about you don’t do it in front of me period? It is so gross. The sound you make is gross, the flying projectile is gross and the resulting pool of crud is gross. Did I mention how gross this is?

But then again, our sport figures do it all the time while on TV, why would our children (especially our boys) think this wasn’t ok?

david beckem spit

But come on,  G R O S S… Maybe it’s just me.

 

Sorry, not so sure how funny this post is, so here are a couple of spit jokes just in case…

#1 ~~ Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest Stamps?

They had pictures of lawyers on them and people couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.

 

#2 ~~ A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can.

He doesn’t want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, “I spat in this beer, do not drink!”.

After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, “So did I!”

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

The ABCs of Me ~~ Or More Than You Wanted to Know

Each night as I try to wind down from my day, I start surfing the blogs I follow. And now that I found the little link that WordPress has, I find it so much easier than getting 50 million emails. Yes, 50 million! No exaggeration. I have “liked” way too many of you! But I’m stubborn and plan to find more to add. I’ll just give up having a life and spend 24/7 reading what you all write. And this silly link has made it that much easier for me to do this.

But I digress once more.

Sharon over at showard76 was playing this game with other bloggers that had several questions based off the alphabet. I thought what a fun idea.

I jumped up and down screaming “I want to play! I want to play!” Then I decided to hijack the game and play. Feel free to steal, I mean borrow it as well.

Now, what kind of game would it be if I didn’t put my own Tammy the Sarcastic Wit on it? I wouldn’t want to disappoint any of you.

So away we go…..

A is for age: A) None of your business. How’s that for an A?  LOL, just kidding. I’m 46 physically, emotionally & intellectually. However, there is still a 20-year-old wondering how we got here and when our body turned on us. Especially the knees. Then again, they never really liked us.

B is for breakfast today: Hmm, do I lie and say something healthy? Or do I admit I reheated my left over quesadilla? But it was gooooooood.

C is for currently craving: Coke. No not the drug silly. The nectar of the gods. Coca Cola. 😀

D is for dinner tonight: Haven’t thought that far out. My gosh, you just asked me about breakfast. I haven’t even thought of my second microwaved meal of the day yet!

E is for favorite type of exercise: Pushing other people’s buttons. Some of you have some great resistance!

F is for an irrational fear: Hands down my fear of moths / butterflies Read this: Butterflies are Evil!

G is for gross food: PEAS!!!!!!!!! OMG they suck!  Read this: Peas, My Mom’s Favorite Torture Tool

H is for hometown: Tough one for me. I moved so much as a kid. Best I can give you is I’m a Southern California Girl – Orange County – And definitely not the OC type. Think way other side of those TV show tracks.  LOL

I is for something important: Laughter. Did you think I was going to say family like everyone else?

Hell, trust me; we all need laughter to deal with our families. 

J is for current favorite jam: Music Jam or Toast Jam? Hmm, which way do I go with this one?  I could sing Peanut Butter Jelly Time and kill both but….. Grape Jelly is my answer.

K is for kids: Is that a question? No kids. I like sending them home too much. Hard to do if they lived with you. But I do have 2 furry kids. Both 14 – Bingo & Tia.

L is for current location: Orient Express. Oh wait, Location not Locomotion. My office at work.

M is for the most recent way you spent money: Same way I spend 99% of my money. Bills, Bills, Bills and not the Destiny’s Child song either. The cool answer would be something like on the Chippendale’s Dancer or buying a new teak panel for the Yacht. But alas, just bills.

N is for something you need: Money! Didn’t you see the 99% that goes to bills? Ok, forget that answer. I need sleep! I want one good 12 hour no wakey even to go potty type of sleep. There you go, how about if I dream of money?

O is for occupation: Ice Cream Lady!!! Haven’t you read any of the Pink Truck stories?

P is for pet peeve: While I’m not fond of butt crack or pants down as you saw in my previous posts, my true pet peeve is lying. Yep, hate when people lie to me especially over stupid things. If you will lie about the small things, odd are you will lie about the big things. I hate liars.  🙁

Q is for a quote: Shakespeare? Movies? Some of these “”””” oh I know. My favorite quote. Duhhh.   Ok, here is one I love…  “Just because you know something, doesn’t mean you understand it”    It so fits people who think they know it all yet understand nothing. 

R is for random fact about you: Umm, isn’t pretty much everything above? Just saying. Hell, I’ll even toss a few more in down below.

S is for favorite healthy snack: Healthy?  LOLLLLLL Surely you jest.

T is for favorite treat: My dogs would say Pup-eroni’s. Me? I don’t like them that much.

U is for something that makes you unique: Everything. No one like me. Some would shout THANK GOD!  I’d say my ability to laugh in bad situations. (hence my blog title)

V is for favorite vegetable: You already know it sure the hell aint peas! (And don’t tell me aint aint a word cuz aint aint in the dictionary ~~ It’s my blog and I’ll use it if I want to) The answer is…I hate veggies. But if I must say…I like cucumbers. And pickles. Are pickles still a veggie after they pickle? Hmmmm

W is for today’s workout: This long ass blog answer. I’m sweating over here!

X is for X-rays you’ve had: Probably everything at one point. I’m surprised I don’t light up the night. I’m old remember A?

Y is for yesterday’s highlight: Surviving. I’m hoping to do the same today.   😀

 Z is for your time zone: Depends on the time of year. Arizona is funny that way. Technically Mountain Standard year round, yet it really is Pacific Standard through the summer. Arizona is so odd.

~~~~

Did you make it all the way to Z with me? WAKE UPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

You know you laughed at least 17 out of 26 times. And that is 17 more laughs than you had prior to starting.

Let’s all have some fun and do this. Most of you are always looking for something to blog about. So here you go.

So, let’s all participate on the Alphabet Survey by blogging about your answers. (I’m not sure if you are to use the same questions, but hey, it’s your post. Use these or create your own)

Let me know once you’ve done it and I’ll definitely come visit. I even promise to read all 26 answers. Yep, pinky swear!

Thanks for having fun with me!  (or, I hope you had fun – sure would hate to lose any followers ~~ then I’d really get no sleep)

~~~till we laugh again~~~

How About some Laughs & Some Love

First, I’ll start with the laughs…

 

Tom:  What do you mean by telling everyone that I’m an idiot?
Sally:  I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was supposed to be a secret!

 

Q. Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
A.  Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over!

 

Q. What did the triangle say to the circle?

A. You’re pointless.

 

Q:What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?
A:Dill me in!

 

 

Q. How do crazy people go through the
forest?

 

A. They take the psycho path.

 

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo Who?
Don’t Cry these bad jokes are over now.


 

Now for the love:

I want to make sure I acknowledge the following folks for sharing their love with me:

 

Benzeknees who hit me upside the head, I mean tagged me a few days ago. Ok, maybe it was a week ago. I’m a slow runner, what can I say. She’s also great at pushing me to be funny. Or shall I say funnier. Now that I think about it, she is kinda mean to me.  LOL.  just kidding. nut-n but lub!

The Candy over at Finding Order Thru Chaos nominated me for the Liebster Award. Unlike Benzeknees, Candy thinks I’m (and I quote) “Hilarious”. I’d like to think it is just me, but maybe I’m the only one she follows that is messy. Or maybe, she only has dull people in her life. I’m not sure. But for now, I’ll take “Hilarious”.

And if that wasn’t enough, I got this special award from Dotty Headbanger since I am “Brilliant” at pushing the Like Buttons she Forced, I mean I wanted to click for her.

 

So much love….What’s a Girl to do….

Thank you to you…. Three Unique Women of the Blogging World!

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Tammy’s Words of Wisdom ~ #1

For a year now, on Facebook I have shared what I call Tammy’s Words of Wisdom.

Basically they are Life Lessons that I have learned through my own life and thru observing others.

My goal is to try to share them with anyone who will listen just in case they might help someone. What makes them pop out? Usually something happening around me sparks their utterance. I have loved how others join in and share with folks how it has rang true in their lives as well.

I’ve decided to begin sharing these Tammy’s Words of Wisdom with all of you. (Don’t you feel special?)   😀

Today I will share my #1 Rule. Above all other wisdom I will ever share, this is the #1 most important rule of them all.

~~~~~

Never Ever Give YOUR POWER to Anyone Else!

No one should ever have the power to make you feel less than who you are or who you can be!

This is YOUR SUPERPOWER and NO ONE Else’s!

~~~~

Ok, raise hands if you thought I was going to make a silly joke like I have been? Go ahead, raise them high? 1,2,3,4,5,6…..well, a lot of you. Neener Neener, I have serious thoughts too! And I”m very passionate about this particular one.   😀

I am dead serious.

Life is full of shit heads. You will run into many of them. And they will do whatever they can to suck the life out of you and take away your power. Do not give it to them. And if anyone has taken it from you, claim it back! I know it isn’t always easy. But trust me….You Are Worth It!

 

I hope you will like my Tammy’s Words of Wisdom. I hope to make this a regular feature as the Wisdom hits me. But this one, is very special to me and I preach it every day.

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~