I’m a Freak ~~ I Can’t Cross My Fingers

Ok, time to confess something. I’m a freak. I can not cross my fingers. The picture above shows you about how far I can go. If I did the other hand it would look the same. Now, if I force my fingers with my other hand, I can sometimes get the tips to wrap a wee bit around. But otherwise it pretty much just looks like one finger laying on top of the other.

When I tell others this, they have to sit there and show me how wonderfully flexible their knuckles are. Some wrapping their pointer around their entire middle finger. A perfect crossed fingers.

I am not amused.

My comeback? “Yea well, but my fingers are stronger than yours!”

Which is true. I have strong fingers. Odds are I can beat you in the game of mercy. (locking fingers and bending till someone lets go by asking for mercy). They are strong yet inflexible.

Which begs the question.. Is it better to have strong fingers or be able to cross my fingers? I’m going with strong fingers. Why? It makes me feel better.  LOL

But I should warn you, if you are needing some extra luck and need someone to cross their fingers for you, I’m not your gal. But if you need help carrying in the groceries, give me a call. I can carry like 5-6 bags in each hand with these strong suckers. I like to think of this part as one of my gifts to offset the “defect”.

Oh well, I still can cross my eyes I guess. The crossing my toes? Hmm, that’s a story for a whole other day.   😀

Do any of you have a “defect” like this?

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

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I Am NOT an Eskimo – no offense to Eskimos

For years I have said – “I am NOT an Eskimo”. I HATE being cold! Period. There is a reason I live in Arizona. I like being perfect or warm. Not cold.

Now, first off, I have nothing against Eskimos. I think Alaska is a beautiful state. With some awesome people. I even spent a couple of days in Anchorage. (What’s with the big giant polar bears in the hotel lobby by the way?) (them suckers are huge)

I grew up in Southern California where for the most part, the weather doesn’t swing to the extremes that often. Sure there are cold days or warm days, but most of the time it hangs out in the 70s or 80s. Worse case the 60s. But no where near freezing.

In my late 20s I moved to Utah. Now, when you transplant a So Cal girl to Salt Lake City, the welcome wagon should deliver a warm jacket to your new home. We don’t own jackets in So Cal. Maybe a windbreaker, but definitely not a warm down jacket. And as much as I hate being cold, I hated wearing my jacket more. I felt so trapped. Besides, guess what? It’s only cold outside, buildings were kept warm. Ever try and figure out what to do with a big old hunking jacket when you are inside? What a pain in the keester.

My five years in Utah, did not change my stance. I still was not an Eskimo. Nor would I ever be getting an honorary certificate.

Here is Arizona, it is H O T most months (Don’t start on the “dry heat” as I’m sure we will post on that later this summer)

But it can also get cold. Some parts more than others. But I only worry about the parts I physically reside. And the other night it dropped down to 30 degrees over night. And guess what? I was C O L D. Once again, whining about not being an Eskimo.

Ask a person what they hate more being HOT or being COLD most will say being hot. I say no, being cold. They will argue that at least you can put on more clothes. Hmmm

Ok, look, all the clothes in the world does not make my nose warm. Period. All those clothes only make me look and feel like a mummy with a cold nose.

Walking around with my hand cupped over my nose is not pretty. And don’t tell me to wear a scarf. I like to breath. Bad enough I pull my shirt up over my nose thus sucking in carbon dioxide and increasing my changes of asphyxiation.

Just so you know, I have no desire to travel back east, up north or any where below 30 degrees. So only invite me during your warm season.

Speaking of traveling, one of the coldest days in my life was in San Fransisco. Some friends and I went to Alcatraz. Now let me tell you, that wind was blowing like crazy and it was freaking cold! No wonder people didn’t escape from that place. They were frozen statues. I’m surprised that part of the tour didn’t include igloos vs cell blocks.And of course we didn’t have the proper jackets on. I’m thinking the ticket salesmen on the wharf really should have handed them out. Or at least some of those pocket warmer pack thingies.

Ok, I’m done ranting. You are probably wondering what got me going on this. Simple. My toes are cold. ~~~~   And don’t tell me to put on socks.

PS… If you live in one of those freezing cold places… Sorry to be you.  I’m pretty sure you will be laughing at me in 5 months when it’s 115 degrees here.   😀

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Laughter in the Clouds

Laughter can be found anywhere, including up above.

Have you ever been driving down the road and looking off into the sky only to wonder how that giant dog got up there?  You ask the person next to you and they say, I don’t see a dog but I see duck. Soon the two of you are noticing all of the items lost in the clouds and having a great time doing so.

Now you might think that the only time you can stare off into the clouds and daydream is while laying in a field of poppies on your back with your best friend. While that might be the ultimate setting, I don’t recommend laying on your back while driving. And I’d stay away from the poppies as they have been known to cause folks to fail drug tests.

But what I do recommend is getting inspired for your smile just by looking around.up. What can you see up there? I’m pretty sure you will see more than squirrels, bunnies, and other animals. Maybe you will find Jesus and can snap a picture and get on the evening news.

Or, if you are in a loving mood, maybe some hearts or even two people holding hands. And if you two are fighting, maybe a person hitting the other with a frying pan. But I bet it is up there.

Or if you have been driving for hours, may you will see a hot dog, or burrito. Or if you have been driving for a really long time with no break, maybe even a toilet. Thus causing you to really wish you would have stopped at that last rest stop.

You see, they are more than floating cotton balls. They are doors to our imagination. And if all you see is cotton balls, then you have an unhealthy relationship with sheep. Oh wait, that’s wool.

So next time when looking for inspiration for your laughter or smile, sometimes you don’t have to look any further than above.

Oh, and if you find yourself saying “It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, it’s SUPERMAN!” then you are just driving through Metropolis.

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

 

 

 

Words of Wisdom – For Keeping Sanity

A few weeks ago my significant other brought home this sign to hang in our bathroom. I thought, “Wow, there couldn’t be a more perfect sign!”.  So now each day as we brush our teeth, we remind ourselves how to go about living each day.

Too often we get caught up in the drama of our lives. We allow our emotions to rule how we react to things. This sign is a great reminder to focus on the things that matter. To not get hung up on the things we can not change and make a difference on those we can.

For those that can not read it, it says….

God, grant me…

SERENITY to accept the things I can not change

COURAGE to change the things I can

WISDOM to know the difference

I know this is the basis for my finding humor in my everyday life. No sense getting all “twisted” (as my mom says) over things I can not go back and change. Life is about moving forward with the knowledge you gain.

I hope you find some wisdom in these words as well.

~~~till we laugh again~~~

My Favorite Joke

I’m not going to lie. Today has been one long butt day and I have exactly 10 minutes to get my post in for the day to keep my steak alive. So, I have to pull out a quickie.

For today’s laugh, I’m going to tell my favorite all time joke.

What did the Teddy Bear say when he was offered dessert?

~~~  come on guess~~~~

down

down

down

further

down

No thanks, I’m stuffed!

 

God I love that joke…. LOL

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

Watching TV with My MOM – circa 1977

Soap (TV series)
Image via Wikipedia

When I was younger I was a TV fanatic long before TiVo, remote controls, cable and 350 stations. I couldn’t wait for the new issue of TV Guide to come out. I would read it cover to cover. Looking for all my favorites so as not to miss any of them. For a brief while I even collected the TV Guides thinking they would be worth something.

This passion for TV lasted for a long, long time. I still love my shows today but I’m no longer as obsessed as I was then. Back then it was my form of escape. My mom would always wonder how I did my homework with the TV on, the radio on and still get good grades. I guess you could say I’ve always been a multi-tasker.

Through the course of the year, I’ll share some of my favorite TV memories (I’ve shared my love of Get Smart all ready).

In 1977 I was only 11 years old. And a new show came on called SOAP.  SOAP told the story of the rich Tates & the working class Campbells. It was a knock off of day time soaps with a major comedic take on it all. It had murder, sex, crazy families, all the things good soaps have. And I loved it.

What I loved most though was this was my time with my mom.

I have 3 younger siblings and as you can imagine, her time was taken up by all of us. But Tuesday nights were mine. Each week for the 4 years that show was on TV, my mom and I would sit together and watch this awesome show. Some would say that maybe this show wasn’t the most appropriate but my mom knew I was mature enough to realize the comedy of the whole thing.

We were so bummed when the show was cancelled. We still watched TV but it was never the same. Nothing touched us as a pair like this show did. Who knows why, but we both laughed so much and just loved this show.

The show went off the air in 1981. It is 30 years later and to this day we still have a little joke we do from the show.

Billy Crystal’s character was the smart one and his TV brother’s character (played by Ted Wass) was a little on the slower side. On one show, Billy’s character is leaving and says to his brother…“CHAO” ….and his brother replies… “GRUB!”

OMG, we laughed our butts off. To this day it makes me laugh so hard.

Every once in awhile one of us will say to the other “CHAO” and the other will reply “GRUB!”….

I miss those Tuesday nights, but I still have the memories…   I Love Ya Ma….

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~