I Am NOT an Eskimo – no offense to Eskimos

For years I have said – “I am NOT an Eskimo”. I HATE being cold! Period. There is a reason I live in Arizona. I like being perfect or warm. Not cold.

Now, first off, I have nothing against Eskimos. I think Alaska is a beautiful state. With some awesome people. I even spent a couple of days in Anchorage. (What’s with the big giant polar bears in the hotel lobby by the way?) (them suckers are huge)

I grew up in Southern California where for the most part, the weather doesn’t swing to the extremes that often. Sure there are cold days or warm days, but most of the time it hangs out in the 70s or 80s. Worse case the 60s. But no where near freezing.

In my late 20s I moved to Utah. Now, when you transplant a So Cal girl to Salt Lake City, the welcome wagon should deliver a warm jacket to your new home. We don’t own jackets in So Cal. Maybe a windbreaker, but definitely not a warm down jacket. And as much as I hate being cold, I hated wearing my jacket more. I felt so trapped. Besides, guess what? It’s only cold outside, buildings were kept warm. Ever try and figure out what to do with a big old hunking jacket when you are inside? What a pain in the keester.

My five years in Utah, did not change my stance. I still was not an Eskimo. Nor would I ever be getting an honorary certificate.

Here is Arizona, it is H O T most months (Don’t start on the “dry heat” as I’m sure we will post on that later this summer)

But it can also get cold. Some parts more than others. But I only worry about the parts I physically reside. And the other night it dropped down to 30 degrees over night. And guess what? I was C O L D. Once again, whining about not being an Eskimo.

Ask a person what they hate more being HOT or being COLD most will say being hot. I say no, being cold. They will argue that at least you can put on more clothes. Hmmm

Ok, look, all the clothes in the world does not make my nose warm. Period. All those clothes only make me look and feel like a mummy with a cold nose.

Walking around with my hand cupped over my nose is not pretty. And don’t tell me to wear a scarf. I like to breath. Bad enough I pull my shirt up over my nose thus sucking in carbon dioxide and increasing my changes of asphyxiation.

Just so you know, I have no desire to travel back east, up north or any where below 30 degrees. So only invite me during your warm season.

Speaking of traveling, one of the coldest days in my life was in San Fransisco. Some friends and I went to Alcatraz. Now let me tell you, that wind was blowing like crazy and it was freaking cold! No wonder people didn’t escape from that place. They were frozen statues. I’m surprised that part of the tour didn’t include igloos vs cell blocks.And of course we didn’t have the proper jackets on. I’m thinking the ticket salesmen on the wharf really should have handed them out. Or at least some of those pocket warmer pack thingies.

Ok, I’m done ranting. You are probably wondering what got me going on this. Simple. My toes are cold. ~~~~   And don’t tell me to put on socks.

PS… If you live in one of those freezing cold places… Sorry to be you.  I’m pretty sure you will be laughing at me in 5 months when it’s 115 degrees here.   😀

~~~till we laugh again~~~

0 thoughts on “I Am NOT an Eskimo – no offense to Eskimos

  1. cksdays

    Finally I found someone else who agrees with me!! I so prefer the heat to the cold. So, let’s not discuss the fact that I live in (gulp) Wyoming. It gets colder than Alaska here. But I moved back to be closer to family. Why couldn’t they live somewhere warmer?! lol

  2. photosfromtheloonybin

    I love you people!! I hate the cold too. There’s absolutely nothing good about it. I am in full hibernation mode, only going outside for work and sometimes shopping or a movie. When the temperature reaches an acceptable level my neighbours will find out what I look like again, and I will spend as much time outside as possible!!

  3. chlost

    Hey, I live in—ready?—-Minnesota. Here we rarely wear a hat (it musses the hair) and jackets are often left behind as well. It is just a short walk from car to building, after all.
    There have been three times that I remember being colder than any time spent in a Minnesota winter: 1. At the Rose Bowl parade on the metal bleacher seats….cold wind blowing, we were dressed like it was Alaska (or Minnesota) on New Year’s day, and we still froze.
    2. At the desert museum in Tucson Arizona on New Year’s Day. It is an outdoor museum. There was snow in the air. We had not brought cold weather clothes for our vacation in Arizona.
    3. This past February in Portland, OR. I have never spent three full days as cold as I was. Cold, wet, windy.
    So, you might think I agree with you about hot over cold? No. When you get to a “certain age”, being hot is a standard of living, and it is not pleasant.
    Just snuggle up with a warm person and you will warm up quickly!

  4. mcfarland

    Tammy didn’t add that she lived in Minnesota when she was about nine for two years. Or that her Mom was born in Onterio Canada, Or that her Mom HATES and whines about being cold so much everyone gets mad at her. Also we don’t have the right clothes for cold. I agree with you about being old and always cold. that’s how is working for me. Also my son marched in the Rose Parade and he wore long johns, everyone in his band wanted to pay him for them. Five girls passed out from the cold. pooy on being COLD!!!

  5. 1smallfry

    I am also from SoCal and I lived in England for a year. I can officially say that I have experienced the cold and I hate it. Hate having my toes cold, or my bones or shivering constantly or wearing mittens to work… I feel your pain on the cold.

  6. J. A. Robinson

    Although Ohioans certainly can’t complain about the cold this winter–it’s been a really mild one–I’ve been constantly cold INSIDE the house. It used to be that a room warm enough for everyone else was too hot for me, and I could never wear sweaters, but in this last year my internal thermostat changed polarity. As I type this I am fully dressed yet still bundled in a bathrobe. I have on thermal socks and am wearing hobo gloves (with the fingers out). We keep our house between 68-69 degrees in the winter, which is fine for everyone else, so I’m the one who has to “layer.”

    Before this I never wanted to live in a Southern state, but now I understand why so many “snowbirds” migrate to Florida for part of the winter. My hands and feet have been like ice since fall.

    1. tadams4u

      We get a lot of snowbirds around here. Many tell me how much they hate being cold and it is the main reason they stay here.

      I hate cold toes, nothing works for them either. I’m picturing you typing with your hobo gloves on tho 😀

  7. jeandayfriday

    I hate the cold, too. I am originally from New Orleans and now live in chilly Ohio. The winter is torture for me (although I do like a nice snow day now and then – hey, it is some payment for being so cold!) I am with you on the warmth. Even in summer! Even 100 degrees in the shade! 🙂

  8. kimberly

    Az huh lol birds of a feather ,I lived in alaska 7 years I dont miss the cold I do miss the endless summer ps there are more people from tx in alaska than eskimos . True fact when alaska freezes in the winter we become the largest state (they) lol

  9. kewsmith

    I hate the cold and my husband hates extreme heat. Even when we travel, he turns on the air and I freeze, so I take a blanket in the car. We may have to retire someday in different states!!

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