Get Off My Butt, You Maniac

Have you ever watched that old Goofy cartoon where easy going Goofy gets behind the wheel of a car and suddenly he is transformed into a crazy mad dog driver?  I love that cartoon.

People make me laugh when they get behind the wheel of a car. For some reason they all feel like they are in a race.

First off, I don’t drive slow. I am a speed limit kind of person and will go 5- 8 miles over on occasion. I don’t speed for two reasons. First because I know most of the time you don’t get there that much sooner and I like living. Second, probably the most important, I will be the one that gets caught. My lot in life is to live by the rules that cost me money or jail time.

With that said, living in Arizona you get to drive a lot of long stretches of desert road with only one lane each way. You get to share this road with the slow folks, the fast folks and the big butt semi trucks.

While I don’t personally speed, I do expect others to at least go the speed limit. My eyes bug out when I’m behind the person that feels 5- 10 under is the best way not to get caught. Maybe their car is that old and falling apart. Who knows. But you know who I’m talking about. I feel like banging my head against the steering wheel. Yes I do occasionally pass, but luck is, if I’m behind that slow poke, I’m pretty sure the on coming traffic is such that I can’t pass. Thus dragging out my torture.

But my Goofy reference is more for the crazy drivers that feel they will get there faster than the rest of us — one car at a time. Take today for example. I’m on this stretch taking my nephews home. It’s probably 30 minutes going 50-55. Behind me is a big semi and I later learned, behind him was a red truck. In front of me was another semi and another slower car. Not so slow, but doing the actual 50 posted.

Through my side mirror I see a red truck come flying past the semi behind me and past me. Squeezing in between myself and the semi in front of me. You know the kind, where if you don’t slam on your breaks, he will get killed by the on coming traffic so its your duty to let his crazy ass in. I just had to laugh because when all was said and done, he couldn’t pass the semi in front of me and the slow car ahead of him due to the on coming traffic. I just laughed knowing his death defying maneuver saved him exactly 4.5 seconds in the end.

I also love the ones that zip in and out of traffic almost causing accidents, only for you to catch up to them at the light. It makes you just want to wave to them and say, “Hey, thanks for holding the light for me by getting here first.”  Then you just laugh.

I also love when they ride your butt thinking it will make you go faster. Don’t they understand it has the opposite effect on me? Yep, makes me want to go slower. Normally I just go exactly what the speed limit is. Just to drive them nuts. Maybe even set my cruise control to avoid the temptation of speeding up. Some people say do a brake check on them, but I’ve had my baby (truck) for 11 years. No idiot is worth them slamming into it.

All I know is, people get “goofy” when they get behind the wheel…..

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

0 thoughts on “Get Off My Butt, You Maniac

  1. photosfromtheloonybin

    Oh I am familiar with all those kinds!! I live in a rural area where there is no public transportation, so we also have to deal with elderly people who want to stay independent and keep driving but really shouldn’t be behind the wheel of a car. It’s very scary sometimes, but I guess they feel they don’t have any alternative. As for the cars that sit on your butt, I have to say I love hitting the brakes and watching their reactions in the rear view mirror. I may as well get some humour out of situations that piss me off!! LOL

  2. pouringmyartout

    Back during my delivery driving days of which I speak in my blog, I made a really big hand out thick paper, colored it, inked in knuckle whirls and fingernails, even drew a watch on the wrist. Then, I folded some of the fingers down, leaving the ‘displeasure’ finger sticking up. I made loops out of duct tape so I could put it on my hand.
    Then I had the worlds most visible ‘bird’ to flip to other drivers.

  3. Candy S

    I used to be the speedy one. I wanted to mustang that roared. Unfortunately I got older and something happened to my desire to speed. Suddenly when the speedy mustang passed me, the roar now made my chest hurt… and the one that rides my bumper, I simply move over if I can. My, how times have changed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. tadams4u

      I use to have a GT Mustang Convertible. I use to find it hilarious as heck. Did I get a ticket going 100 down the back road? Nope. Speeding on the highway? Nope. I got my only ticket for coming down a hit doing 45 in a 35 by a rookie cop. LOL

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