Confessions of a Non-Hugger

Now this might shock those that only know me via my blog, but my friends, family & co-workers already know my hugging hang ups. Seems odd for someone who is so pro laughter, glass half full type person to be a so called non-hugger.

I have no issues with people wrapping their arms around each other. The transference of energy between them can be magical. I love a good hug like most people. But just don’t expect me to make that first move.

Let me explain….

Ok, when I was a kid, my mom would always try and hug & kiss me. I’m not sure when I started to be weird with it or if I always was. But I do know that it then became a game. She wanted so bad for me to do it, my little sarcastic mind thought it would be funny to torture her by not giving her what she wanted.

Yep, I thought it was funny.  

Then as I got older and into the work force, I was a leader at a very young age. So I was always very aware of people thinking I was too young. So then my warped mind thought if people saw me hugging my “mommy” it would make me look like a little kid.  (Stupid I know, but hey, I was in my early 20s).

Then my career was a big thing to me. And not wanting people to think of me as unprofessional I kept the hugging at a distance. Not wanting anyone to think I was doing anything unprofessional. I never wanted a hugging-gate scandal.

Through time and the years it just became a habit to not hug people. Unless of course they initiated it. I didn’t turn them down.

Sure, maybe I made a face or two. 

I have had many people around me that are massive huggers. They were going to hug me whether I made a face or not. Sometimes they would announce they were coming in for the hug and I better just get over it.

As I’ve gotten older I have realized that this hugging thing isn’t too bad. And I have definitely created a reputation for myself.

I don’t think I’ll ever be the main initiator of the hug. It still feels awkward at times and I still have this big personal space issue. But I do realize that sometimes the hug isn’t always about me and my hang ups.

Sometimes the other person just needs that energy they get from you when they hug you. Sometimes they need that transference of love.

Don’t get me wrong, some people are crazy huggers and hug everything in sight including a tree or two.

Us non-huggers give off a vibe of stand back 5 feet or you will be hurt. And some non-huggers will actually kill you if you even attempt to put your arms around them.

But I suspect that there are a bunch of us non-huggers that have non hugged for so long, it is habit more than not wanting to share your energy or love. But one thing I will tell you is, don’t expect us to initiate the hug anytime soon. All I can tell you is, don’t always be afraid. We only act like we will bite.

Oh, and the most important thing…. DON’T PUSH YOUR LUCK.      😀

Yea, don’t try to go from 0 – 60 on the hugging scale just because we open up a little. We still get a little squeamish.

Oh, and if we don’t know you….YEA, we aren’t letting you into the circle of those approved for hugging rights. Only those we love and care about. So Mr or Miss random person we don’t really know, you need to earn your way into the hugging circle. If you really care for us, you will wait until you get the golden ticket of hugging the non-hugger.

Ok, my confession is over and odds are I might deny this come tomorrow. But I promise I’ll at least keep giving my cyber-hugs because those kind don’t invade my personal space.

Big hugs…. and …

~~~till we laugh again~~~

0 thoughts on “Confessions of a Non-Hugger

  1. sonjarosas


    Yeah, I’ve never been a hugger. To the point people will say, “Oh, yeah, she doesn’t hug!” They say it like it’s a heads up and I might put the unsuspecting clod in a head block if they try!

    It’s not that I don’t like hugs, more like it depends on the person. If I’ve known you for a few years and we’re pals? MAYBE. If you’ve known me for two days and are saying good morning? NOOOO…

  2. cksdays

    I come across as a non-hugger. But I’ve grown to like them. Especially in the last 6 months. I’ve even started (gulp) i n i t i a t i n g (I hope I spelled that right – it’s hard to do even without the spaces lol) them!!

  3. benzeknees

    Big hugger here, love to hug as long as I at least have a nodding acquaintance with someone. But I think I’m a sensitive hugger, when meeting someone I haven’t seen in person before I will extend my arms a bit to the sides & if they want to hug they can step in, if not , no big deal. I don’t get hurt by non-huggers, I understand it’s a personal space issue. For me, it’s people who stand too close when talking to me. Even if I hugged them, don’t keep standing in my personal space for the rest of the night – got it?

  4. jeandayfriday

    I am a hugger, but it has to be someone I know well who is also a hugger. I wrote a post on an awkward hug I received from my boss – it was super embarrassing. I don’t think hugging at work is a good thing, no matter how huggie my boss thought I was that day. Ugh. I do occasionally hug one of my good friends who is an absolute non-hugger – mostly just to be annoying. 🙂

    1. tadams4u

      You hit a couple of my points. (PS, I read that one, it was a good one).

      Work hugging can create issues when that “boss” hugger has to start being the disciplinarian. Some folks can’t register the change.

      And you huggers love torturing us non-hugger but the secret is, we like torturing back by not caving in. LOL

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