We all like a quickie. Sometimes a quickie is just what you need. You know you like a quickie too…

A quick laugh that is. What else did you think I meant?

I’m not addicted to my Twitter account but I do like looking at it for some quick inspirations quotes or quick laughs once a day. There are some folks who dedicate themselves to posting various sayings. Some new, some old, some stupid and some unique. So I thought I’d share a few that I saw just doing a quick scroll. It was pretty popular when I did this last time so I thought I’d do it again. Hope a couple give you a chuckle…

• I miss the days when you could just push someone into a pool without worrying about their cell phone.

• You never realize what you have till it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example!

• When you’re stressed, You eat Ice cream, Cake, Chocolate & Sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS. Mind = Blown?

• Lazy Rule 1: If you drop an ice cube just kick it under the refrigerator.
• “Your phone`s ringing…” “Yeah, phones do that…”
• We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.
• I wanna write “I miss you” on a rock and throw it at your face so you know how much it hurts to miss you.
• Wife: “Why are you  home so early?” Husband: “My boss told me to go to hell.”
• You always remember your first crush. Mine was Orange. (get it?)
  
• Blanket on = too hot. Blanket off = too cold. One leg out = Perfect (so true)
  
• Everyone hates Thursday…Cuz it not Friday
• Mission Impossible: Not eating a French Fry on the way home from the drive thru.
• Why are children obese? Probably because burgers are $.99 and salads are $4.99.
• Son: “I almost went to jail today! I was so scared!” Mom: “Oh my god! WHAT DID YOU DO!?” Son: “Those monopoly games get pretty intense.”
  
• Don’t tell me I’m wrong if u cant explain why u right

• Do you like me? Breathe for yes, lick your elbow for no

• Weekends are like an orgasm: It’s takes a lot to get there and when u finally do, it’s over in no time.

 

Ok, had to let that last one slip in, it was funny.

Hope you all had a great weekend!

 

~~till you laugh again~~