Dear Teenage Job Seeker ~~ You Really Should Know This…

Right now I’m currently looking to add to my team here at the store. If I may brag for a minute, I have a great team. I make sure I hire the right person and then work with them prior to sending them out into the world. Normally they don’t leave unless their family drags them off to Iowa, they go off into the military for a cool haircut, or a great opportunity comes up that I push them to fly the coo-koo’s nest.

Due to this, I haven’t had to hire in over a year. Yet everyday teenagers saunter in looking for that first job. We are a small town, so there aren’t may places for them to go so basically every one of them passes through my doors at some point.

A couple of years ago I wrote a post when I had like 3 followers that was just too good to never be seen again. So I’m going to dust it off, put some new clothes on it and spritz some cologne and send it back out. It was definitely one of my more sarcastic moments.   Hope you enjoy it.


Through the years I have hired hundreds and hundreds of people. I’ve probably interviewed thousands. I have always been amazed at what I have seen. I have even offered my advice too many and now after spending two 3 1/2 years watching teenagers walk into my store asking for jobs I feel it is important I share some key information with this demographic.

So here is my letter to the teenagers looking for a job:

Dear teenage or twenty somethinger,

Congratulations! You are either looking for your first job or your next one of many. Either way, the advice I’m about to share is meant to help increase your odds of me taking your seriously. As a business owner I think I speak for many others when I say the following:

First Impressions are very important.

  • Do you really need your posse of friends to escort you in? Is there safety in numbers?
  • Guys – Pull your freaking pants up! I do not need to see your cool boxers to determine if you will make a great fit for my team. I already know you don’t fit your pants.
  • I understand wanting to have piercings but just so you know, the cool piercing in your nose, your cheeks, your tongue, or the big gauges in your ears  are not going to help you get a job serving the public. (Yesterday I had one with one in her nose, both her cheeks, under her lip and across her eyebrows – two words – OH MY!)
  • Special note on this one – I serve ice cream to kids, some of your piercings would scare the beegeebees about of the kiddies not to mention the mommies.
  • Tattoos – while yes they are a works of art and they symbolize important things to you I’m pretty sure I’m not going to hire you with the naked women down your arm or the skull and cross bones on your neck. And honestly, the THUG LIFE on your fingers, just ain’t working for me either.
  • See special note above about scaring the kiddies – not to mention freaking out the little tike’s mommy.
  • Attitude – Can you at least fake some enthusiasm? My lord some of you look miserable. I know its hot outside – but darn you look horrible. Its ice cream for Pete’s sake, it’s fun. If this is how you look wanting a job I’d hate to see what you look like after you get it.
  • But I understand – you’d rather be sitting on the couch playing your xbox, but mommy and daddy made you go looking for a job (especially you twenty somethings that haven’t left home yet)
  • Time to cut the apron strings.
    • You are the one I’m hiring, not your parents, so you need to be the one to come see me, to get the application, to fill it out. I’m not hiring mom or dad I’m hiring you. I don’t mind talking to them about it, but they can’t be the one to do all the work for you. It’s your butt that will be scooping the ice cream not theirs, so I want to talk to you.
    • Please share above tip with your parents

Ok, this letter (and post) is getting too long. I could go on and on. From not reading the application or maybe having an answer to a simple question like – Why do you want to work here? (HINT – know what store you are in before you open your mouth and words come out – look around first) And if one more person tells me they like Ice Cream I’m going to tell them, That sucks, cuz next week we will be selling sandwiches instead”.

But, for a moment I’m going to stop being a smart ass and give you some good advice once you’ve done all the above and this works for everyone who wants to get hired regardless of your age:

Persistence pays off.

Just because you have dropped off the application doesn’t mean you never have to come back again. Stop by each week and show me you really want to work there. The folks I’ve hired have shown me they really want to work there and I’ve gotten to know them by their weekly returns for a job. Show me what I’d be getting. Trust me, when I am hiring it is YOU I will remember first.

Dear Teenage Job Seeker, thank you for reading this letter.

(Then again, it’s not like they will listen – Afterall they ARE teenagers and we all know THEY already KNOW EVERYTHING so what do I know?

Silly me thinking that 25+ years means anything.  LOL

~~~till we laugh again~~~