Don’t Laugh at the Girl on the Orange Bike – Part II

The Orange Torture Machine

Earlier this month I shared that I was hitting the sidewalks with my Orange bike (Don’t Laugh at the Girl on the Orange Bike). Well, it’s been nine days and I’m still alive and better yet, I’m still pedaling.

Ok, to be honest, I’m pedaling every other day. But hey, it has still been 6 times more than I have the last 9 years. So that is a win.

I have even adventured further than 100 yards from my starting location. Amazing, I know. Yep, I have now managed to not pass out for about 3 miles. I haven’t really measured it with a tape measure, but I’m pretty sure I’m close. And yes, I can even do the whole thing with out stopping now. Unless you count when my water bottle dropped out my pocket and I had to pick it up. (And no, I didn’t do it on purpose just to breathe).

And in case you are wondering, the seat still freaking hurts. Does the butt ever get use to this torture device? I may keep pedaling but I also keep shifting. Or maybe those body parts just become numb over time. Who knows.

So the ride starts off easy enough. I have a path I take in the housing development behind my store. I zig zag through the streets taking in all the foreclosure signs and wonder if anyone will move in before Labor Day (not really, but I do look at the signs). Then I weave past the park and see the birdies eating all the Cheerios that the kids in strollers through out while mom was walking them in their strollers (awe, those were the days – when we all had personal chauffeurs) .

As I pass the park, I’m excited to realize I’m half way there and it’s all down hill. Not really down hill cause it actually is pretty straight then up a small hill. As I approach this one section I see some folks standing outside a garage and pointing at me. Is it me or the Orange Machine? How dare they make fun of me! Then I realize they are just waiving to the lady behind me. Darn neighborly love.

Any how, I turn the bend out of the subdivision and realize the while the stretch back isn’t far it has two big problems. A) I’m truly at the farthest point from my final destination (straight shot back) and this is not the place to pass out.  And B) I now have to go up hill.  Shoot me know….

So like we do when we pedal up hills, we think by pushing on our upper leg with our hand it will help the pedals turn. (AHH HAA Moment – that’s where that bruise came from).  I dodge the cars pulling into the gas station, avoid the mom’s dropping their kids off at day care (I picture them telling their kids as they point at me that this is why they must not drink so much soda).  Then through the McDonald’s parking lot (DON”T LOOK TAMMY) and over a few speed bumps (why I don’t go around them? I like the roller coaster ride effect I guess). Finally pulling up to the back door of my desitination.

I stand there huffing and puffing a few minutes on my jelly legs trying not to look like that person on Biggest Loser who always falls down on the treadmill.

And believe it our not… I feel great because I survived another trip!  Maybe fresh air brain washes us. Not sure.

I’ll update you again in a few weeks. If I stop writing one day, check the newspaper or news for a girl passed out on the grass laying next to an Orange bike – It might be me.

~~~~till we laugh again~~~

0 thoughts on “Don’t Laugh at the Girl on the Orange Bike – Part II

  1. photosfromtheloonybin

    Sorry, but I laughed my friggin’ head off!! Especially the part about the treadmill! That’s ok – I have started some pretty humorous exercising myself. Check out the videos on youtube of the T-Zone Vibration machines. You stand on a giant vibrator and your ass jiggles so hard that nothing better get in the way or you might just take it out! But seriously, it doesn’t matter what you look like though or how hard you huff and puff – you’re making an effort, and that’s what counts!

    1. tadams4u

      Glad to know you always have my back… LOL On that machine make sure you don’t knock someone out jiggling too much. Do you have a sign saying stand back 5 ft or you might get hurt.. LOL

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