This Joke Just Plain Stinks

Grab a clothespin as this joke is really smelly!

clothespin on nose

Can you handle it?

~~

Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

~~

Now this one is interactive.

You know the routine if you like jokes.

Especially Knock Knock jokes

~~

So when you see this

????  

You know what to do..

Say it out loud

~~

Ready?

Put the clothespin on now.

You’ve Been Warned

~~

Knock Knock

????

Smell Mop

????

~~

~~

I told you it stunk!

smell my poo

 

 

How to Wash Your Cat

The Full Proof Way to Get a Clean Kitty

Cat

Cats are interesting critters. They have a mind of their own. While they love licking themselves to death, sometimes they just need a little extra help getting sparkly clean.

I came across this little post today that a real cat lover wrote to help ensure you little fluffy is nice and purdy. So if you have ever wondered the best way to wash a cat, check this out.

how to give a cat a bath

Ok, ok, so I think Fido may have an alternative motive. LOL

Oh you know you laughed a little!

For the record, I do not recommend you doing this.  (just in case one of you get a bright idea to really give your cat a bath like this)    

fart man

Life is too Short to be Serious All the Time

Laugh at YourselfYou Should Laugh at Yourself Once a Day

 

There are too many folks that walk around everyday miserable. Every time something happens to them they just are so pissed. I always think…Get over yourself!  LOL

Listen, we all screw up, mess up, F*** Up on a daily basis. The key is to step back and just laugh at yourself.

What folks don’t realize is, if we see you screw up, mess up, or F*** we are laughing at you.

So why not join us?

Listen, life if full of bad stuff, struggles and challenges. Speed bumps, roadblock, and detours are just part of the big life plan.

In order to have less stress in your life you have to learn to laugh it off.

I’m not saying — Don’t Take it Seriously — You must. But that doesn’t mean it has to define your attitude and how you react to it. You pick that, it doesn’t.

So next time you find yourself all tense and serious, find something to laugh at. I promise it will give you the clarity you need to move on.

 

Now, get out there and laugh at someone!!

 

Christmas Lights Gone Wrong

Do You Have This Neighbor?

lots a christmas lights

Everyone loves to look at Christmas Lights. Ok, Maybe not everyone. But I bet you like to still like a good laugh once in a while. Let’s take a look at what a few folks have done…

Some folks have a good sense of humor. They really don’t want to hang the lights but know they need to at least attempt them…

Oops Lights

Little Help…Please

little help

Spiderman Said this way was easier

~~~

We have all experienced the joy of untangling those Christmas Lights. How many of use wish we could just do what this person did?

forget about it

Screw it!

~~~

Some folks at least give it the old college try

No reason

Hey, they at least tried

Lazy Lights

Ok, maybe this one was a college drop out

~~~

Speaking of screw it.

Some folks like being on Santa’s Naughty List

Frisky Deer

Hmm. Maybe we should give them some privacy

Maybe fewer lights

Yes, you can put too many lights on a palm tree

Peeing Santa

Even Santa has to make a pit stop on Christmas Eve

~~~

They say you can’t have enough lights but I think some of these folks can prove the theory wrong

Yes too many lights

Hey, you missed a spot on the right

too many christmas lights

Oh, was I suppose to have a theme?

~~~

Then there are those that only love the blow ups

christmas blow ups

~~~

In the end it is about finding the right balance.

If you are lucky you have that neighbor that does it just right.

Christmas Lights Done right

Then all you have to do is high jack their lights!

Maricopa Ditto House

Have a great Christmas & Holiday Everyone!!!!

Do You Wear Funny T-Shirts?

Express Yourself

social interactionEveryone loves a funny t-shirt. We all probably own at least 1 or 2. I would bet you’ve bought for gifts way more than that. I would also be willing to bet that some of you have spent at least a 1/2 hour at a Walmart looking at them.

Now a days you can go online and put any saying you want on them. From Rated G to X. You can support you favorite cause or make fun of your significant other…I’m with Stupid ring a bell? The most popular tend to be the sports folks. Millions have been made through the years.

Me, I’m a fan of the funny. I like ones that make me smile. Want to see my stepdad’s favorite t-shirt? Yep, he’s pooped today and proud of it. LOLI pooped today

Here are a few other fun ones I’ve seen:

ADMIT IT..Life would be boring with out me!

Sarcasm – Just another free service I offer

Sometimes when I open my mouth my mother comes out

Musician: Someone who packs $5000 into a $200 car to earn $50

You can’t scare me…I have a teenage daughter!

When I was a kid I wanted to be older. This CRAP is not what I expected


Back off, I have a sister and i’m not afraid to use her!

Captain Obvious

be batmanI’m a nurse….What’s your superpower?

I may be left handed but I’m always right!

i love this muchI’m full of holiday spirit…It’s called Vodka

Mom like me best! (I should wear this around my sisters..lol)

Do not touch my tools or my daughter!

So when does this “old enough to know better” kick in?

I’m not arguing I’m just explaining why I’m right!

I did a cartwheel the other day, thinking it was like riding a bike…It’s not

Prayer: The world’s greatest wireless connection

I am who I am…Your approval isn’t needed

Everything tastes better with ketchup

I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you

Inside every older person is a younger one wondering what the hell happened!

Karma takes too long. I’d rather just smack you right now!

Cat: A bipolar creature which would as soon gouge out your eyes and it would cuddle

ironySome days the supply of curse words is insufficient to meet my demands

Walk a day in my head and you would completely understand

Sometimes I laugh so hard tears run down my leg

 

football momBy the way, if you have a saying you want added to shirt after all this T-Shirt talk, my buddy Jackie over at VinylWorks4u.com can hook you up. (She doesn’t know I’m doing this so feel free to tell her Tammy sent ya…lol) She can make almost anything. I think her etsy site has more examples. Especially football stuff this time of year. Great Christmas gifts if you need any.

 

Do you have a favorite T-Shirt?

What does it Say?

OMG! I Can’t Believe This Happened!

Angry faceOk, I need to VENT!!

 

I went to Walmart to get some stuff for tonight’s dinner. I noticed this lady was staring at me on the same aisle I was on. No biggie. I moved to the next aisle and here she comes again…STARING! So now I’m like, “WTH”, but finish up my shopping and head to the check out line. Of course this same lady was ahead of me…starts staring again.

 

Awkward. So I start playing with my phone so I don’t have to look at her. Finally she says “I want to apologize for staring at you, but you look just like my daughter who just passed away.” I felt really bad after that and gave her my condolences. She says “thank you…but I have a favor to ask. I understand if you don’t want to. Can you give me a hug and say ‘bye mama’ to me?” Inside I was like “wth”, but me being the softie that I am, I went ahead and did it. She smiles, thanks me, and leaves.

 

The cashier rings up my stuff and the total comes out to $100.87. I knew something wasn’t right, because after my coupons it should have been like $40.00 or so. The girl tells me that my total was included with my mom’s. I’m like, “What?!!!” she said, “Your mom said you were paying for her last few items along with your things. I told her that the woman was most definitely NOT my mom. She said, well I saw you hug her and heard you call her mama. I flew out of the store looking for this witch, ready to beat her a**.

 

I see her loading up her car! She saw me and jumped in her car, I got to her as she was putting her leg in, and I started pulling her leg…JUST LIKE I’M PULLING YOURS!!!! Hope you all are having a wonderful day! Don’t hate me for this!

 

Ok, you can blame Facebook. This was showing up in my news feed and each time I just laughed my butt off and had to share!  What made it most funny to me was the person I originally saw it on was a woman I know with a big heart and she would have done this very thing.

 

Have a great one!

 

~~~ Till We Laugh Again~~~

Knock Knock…Who’s There? – A Bunch of Knock Knock Jokes of Course!

Who doesn’t love a good Knock Knock Joke? 

Well, anyone who has met the Interrupting Cow of course!

 

Knock KnockIf you are a seasoned knock knock joke person you totally go that one!   🙂

I thought what better way to enjoy a Sunday then with some fun, light hearted knock knock jokes? So let’s jump in and have a few giggles shall we?

 

~~

 

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Kook
Kook who?
Don’t call me cuckoo

~~

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Little old lady?
Little old lady who?
Wow! I didn’t know you could yodel

~~

Crying BabyKnock Knock
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo who?

Don’t cry, it’s just me

 

~~

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Doris
Doris who?
Doris locked, that’s why I knocked

~~

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Dishes
Dishes who?
Dishes me, who are you?

~~

DoorbellKnock Knock
Who’s there?
Figs
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell, it’s broken

~~

Knock Knock

Who’s There?

Theodore

Theodore who?
Theodore is stuck and it won’t open!

~~

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Cash
Cash who?
Yes, I love cashews..Thanks!

~~

RibbonsKnock Knock

Who’s there?

Ya

Ya who?

I’m excited to see you too!

~~

Knock Knock

Who’s There

Amos

Amos who?
A mosquito bit me!

~~

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Wanda
Wanda who?
Wanda hang out with me right now?

~~

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Nobel

Nobel who?

No bell, that’s why I knocked!

 

~~
PirateKnock knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting pirate!
Interrup…
ARRRRRRRRRR!

(Dang, the cow has a new friend) MooooooCow

~~

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey have to keep telling silly knock knock jokes?

~~

Nope! I’m out of here! Hope you enjoyed some cute laughs!!

 

~~Till next time~~

 

Penguins Peeing in the Water & Polar Bears are Eating it Up!

14 Random Facts through the Eyes of a Sarcastic Person

 

knowledgeIf you are like me, you love to hear random facts. The best part of reading a random fact for a sarcastic person like me, is the first thought that comes to mind. So I thought I’d share these 14 random facts I found over at thefactsite.com and what popped in my head…. Doesn’t that sound fun?  LOL

 

Nearly three percent of the ice in Antarctic glaciers is penguin urine.

And to think, you thought they were flavored ice cubes

 

Polar bears can eat as many as 86 penguins in a single sitting

Guess polar bears want the penguins to stop making flavored ice cubes

 

TriangleAbout 8,000 Americans are injured by musical instruments each year

Who would have thought playing the triangle could be so dangerous

 

The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal

Since it didn’t work out I’m shocked they kept using it  (boo..too soon?)

 

There is a species of spider called the Hobo Spider

Yep, he carries all his belongings in a bag on the end of a stick

 

poopSmearing a small amount of dog feces on an insect bite will relieve the itching and swelling

Ummm, I’m pretty sure I’ll just keep scratching

 

95% of people text things they could never say in person

Like: “yea, your butt does look too big in those pants”

 

You cannot snore and dream at the same time

Explains why I can never seem to finish any of my dreams

 

hot air balloonA sheep, a duck and a rooster were the first passengers in a hot air balloon.

Is it me or does this seem like the beginning to a joke? 

 

King Henry VIII slept with a gigantic axe beside him

Now you would think this would have been the first hint to his future wives

 

Hyphephilia are people who get aroused by touching fabrics.

“Bobby, stop stroking the ottoman!”

 

29th May is officially “Put a Pillow on Your Fridge Day“.

Ok, I can’t possibly be the only one thinking…”what the heck????” Why???

Maybe it is just easier to camp out and eat your ice cream??

 

Banging your head against a wall burns 150 calories an hour

Might just be easier not to eat the Little Debbies?

laughing

 

Cherophobia is the fear of fun.

Thank God none of you have this!!  If you made it this far you have no fear of fun!!!

~~ Till our next laugh together~~~

30 Jokes to Make Your Kids Laugh!

A Child’s Laughter Will Make the Strongest Weak

 

kids laughingWe all like to laugh. More fun is helping others laugh! The best type of laugh? One from a child. So here are 30 jokes you can tell to either an adult or a child and hopefully you can have lots of giggles and laughs!

Enjoy!

 

1     Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

       A: A tuba toothpaste.

 

2     Q: What do lawyers wear to court?

      A: Lawsuits!

 

3     Q: What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary? 

       A: Take the words out of his mouth!

 

4    Q: Why do fish live in salt water?

      A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!

 

5    Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?

      A: Because 7, 8, 9.

 

6   Q: What did the pencil say to the other pencil?

     A: your looking sharp.

 

7   Q: Why did the picture go to jail?

    A: Because it was framed.

 

8   Q: What do you call cheese that’s not yours? 

   A: Nacho cheese!

 

9   Q: What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

     A: A watch dog.

 

10  Q: What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

      A: A lawn moo-er

 

11   Q: What do elves learn in school?

       A: The elf-abet.

investigator12  Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?

      A: Swimming trunks

 

13  Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?

      A: A taxi driver

 

14  Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? 

      A: He wanted to go to high school.

 

15  Q: How does a dog stop a video? 

      A: He presses the paws button

 

16  Q: What is black ,white and red all over?

      A: A sunburned penguin!

 

17  Q: How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

      A: Squeaky clean!

 

18  Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor?

      A: Because it had a virus!

 

19  Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?

      A: A bulldozer!

 

20  Q: What is the tallest building in the world?

       A: The library! It has the most stories!

 

21  Q: Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? 

      A: To go with the traffic jam!

 

22  Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing himself a lullaby? 

       A: He was a little hoarse.

 

23  Q: Where do you put barking dogs?

       A: In a barking lot.

 

24  Q: What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

       A: A gummy bear!

porkchop25  Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate? 

      A: Porkchop!

 

26  Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?

       A: No I deer!

 

27  Q: What do you call an exploding monkey?

      A: A baboom!

 

28  Q: What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? 

      A: Stuck!

 

29  Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

       A: Frostbite.

 

30  Q: Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

       A: Because of the bark!

 

If you loved what you read or at least most of the time….please do us a favor and share! Let’s help a lot of folks laugh!

 

~~~till we laugh again~~~

 

~~~

~




Buffets Are Nasty Unless You Like Your Food Sneezed On

Disclaimer: I’m not a fan of Buffets…

But I’m sure the Title gave that away.. LOL

 

The Nasty Buffet

 

The other day I came across this above picture on Pintrest. It was an article on Huffington Post.  I had to laugh as it pretty much sums up my thoughts on most buffets.

I know for many of you, Buffet’s might be the wholly grail of fine dining. After all, who wouldn’t love 8 plates of crab legs? Oh yea, me… I hate seafood remember.   🙂

Some of the longest lines I’ve ever seen are those at a casino’s Buffet. Heck, people will pay $40-$50 for those seafood buffets! That is crazy. Go to a nice restaurant people!  lol

While you may see a buffet and hear the angels sing, I see a buffet and just see food that is an hour or more old, hands picking through it, sneezing, germs. People playing with my food. Cooked with zero seasoning and barely recognizable as the true food it is.  crablegs

Heck, even those crab legs you love so much have you spending hours cracking and digging for little meat and lots of water. No wonder you need to eat 8 plates.  LOL

Now, I will say in defense of Buffets, they are one step up from the grosses thing on earth…PEAS!  Yep, if you recall, I think they are little round balls of puke!

So, what do you think of buffets?  Nasty or Heaven to you?

Have You Started a Pay it Forward Wave Yet? Start at McDonalds

Pay it Forward

Giving and Getting Can Feel So Good!

 

the waveWe all remember sitting at a sporting event and watching the wave of people standing and flinging their arms created a “wave”. If you have not had the opportunity yet to be part of a modern day wave at McDonalds then you are missing out. This one comes with a big smile and lot of happiness.

 

Like many of you, I run out the door every single day to go earn my keep. Unfortunately the bills do not pay themselves (at least not what I’ve been able to discovery yet).  Occasionally as part of my routine I go through our local McDonald’s for a sausage McMuffin and a drink. Being on a tight budget I allow myself this $2.38 splurge a couple times a week.

 

On more than one occasion I have been part of an amazing trend happening at McDonalds across the world. I’m not sure how big this is in your area or your town but in my little city our citizens that frequent our local McDonalds have loved a Pay it Forward Wave.

 

McDonalds ArchesHere’s how it works. On my most recent trip to the golden arches. I pull into our drive thru and order my normal breakfast splurge. I have a gift card that is burning a hole in my pocket so I’m all prepared for my expensive $2.38 meal. While waiting, I noticed a weird thing going on at the pay window. Every car that stops seems to be having an issue. The kid looks to be explaining stuff to them and it doesn’t look like they are verifying a caramel latte vs an iced coffee. All of a sudden I smile because I have seen this confusion before. Yes, I know exactly what this is as I have experienced this myself a few weeks ago.

 

About a month ago I was making this same routine stop. When I got to the window the teenage clerk just smiled at me and said “You don’t owe anything as the car ahead of you paid for your order.”  I can only imagine my face because I’m sure my look was one of being dumb founded. All I could do was just stare at the 18 year old with a look of confusion and thoughts racing through my head of what am I supposed to do next? So I froze and said, “ah ah… thank you”. Feeling stupid because I really didn’t know what you’re supposed to do next.

 

As I pulled away, I realized I was just part of the magic moment. Yes I was part of a Pay it Forward McDonalds moment. If you’ve ever been part of one you know the feeling I’m talking about. I also knew that if it happened again, I would know what I would do. What I had to do.

 

The neat thing about these Pay if Forward moments is they are totally random. So on this particular trip the other day I could see from the confusion going on in front of me that we might be on another wave and I was not going to be the one that broke that wave. No I was not going to be the person sitting in my seat with my arms crossed, a scowl on my face not wanting to participate in this event. This time I was going to jump out my seat with all the enthusiasm I could muster.

 

Pay it ForwardWhen I got to the window and was told that the car in front of me had paid my $2.38 breakfast I knew what to do this time. First I waved at the car in front of me a thank you (not that I think they saw me but it felt like the right thing to do). Then I asked what the car behind me owed. Now in this situation your worst fear is that it’s a lady with 8 kids in a van. So I looked in my rearview mirror and noticed one person in a car so I felt pretty confident that I was not going to get stuck with a $30 breakfast order. While I was prepared to do my part, my gift card was reminding me that it only had so much on it.

 

She smiled, looked at the next order than with a little look of disappointment told me that it was more than mine as they owed $8.62. But I knew that wasn’t going to end this wave! Not today. I knew I needed to make another person’s day. I knew I was paying it forward!

 

So I pay the $8.62 and slowly start to crawl up to the next window. All the while looking in my rear view mirror hoping that not only do get to make the next person’s day but they will continue the wave and make even more people happy this morning. Sure enough the smiling clerk is trying to explain what happened. I see the finger pointing at my truck and then I see it happen! I see them hand over their credit card. Yes! They were continuing the wave! They were paying it forward too! They were paying for the next car!

 

No I don’t know how many cars we’re in that wave that morning. But I do know that at least from what I could see there were 7 cars for sure. Seven people who started their morning with a big smile because somebody cared about them and then they got to do what made them feel good. They got to pay it forward too. The act of giving feels so good.

 

McDonaldsNow some of you might think the joy over having a $2.38 breakfast paid for seems so minor. But it has nothing to do with the $2.38. It has to do with knowing that there is still joy in the world. Love in the world and people that care. With so much negativity on TV and in our social media it is nice to know there are still people out there who get joy in helping others. No matter how small.
So if you have never experienced the McDonalds Pay it Forward Wave then I challenge you to start one. On your next trip to McDonalds just casually ask the cashier what the car behind you owes.  Then offer to pay for their meal. Don’t have a lot of Money? Then do it at breakfast. Most people are like me getting a sandwich and a drink and many others are just getting a coffee. It isn’t about how much you pay it forward just that you do pay it forward.

 

So go on out and make someone else’s day. I promise it feels good!